Your key people: Who are they and how did they shape you?

Today we continue looking at ways to rediscover stories from the past so you can include them in your memoir. 

(Click on these recent posts if you missed them: Your stories: Where do you find them? and Where can you find your stories? And don't miss Sharon Lippincott's comment: "I just wrote a section for my Work in Progress about all the stories packed into a copper Aztec calendar that has hung on walls in four houses for nearly fifty years now....")

Look over the list of people, below. Take your time. A few will stand out because they played a significant role in shaping who you are today. Their words or actions caught your attention, taught you, inspired you, helped you make good choices—and maybe even changed the direction of your life. 

• your best friend in high school
• grandparent
• pilot
• school bus driver
• neighbor
• boss
• lifeguard
• parents
• politician
• college roommate
• janitor
• pastor
• grandchild
• professor
• fireman
• Scout leader
• librarian
• law enforcement person
• pediatrician
• sibling
• teacher
• garbage collector
• farmer
• foster parents
• Sunday School teacher
• crosswalk guard
• aunt or uncle
• fellow student
• boss
• homeless person
• author
• teammate
• a person with Down Syndrome
• social worker
• in-laws
• military veteran
• a stranger

Did one or more person catch your attention? If so, ask yourself how different you’d be if that person hadn’t come into your life. Jot down ideas now, and in coming days and weeks craft a rough draft.

Sometimes the best life lessons result from dealing with negative people—they model the kind of person you don’t want to be. Ask yourself what you learned from people who:

• gossip
• bully
• lie
• break promises
• whine
• manipulate
• steal
• criticize
• judge
• abuse
• complain

Think about people who are:

• fickle
• jealous
• addicted to alcohol or drugs
• perfectionists
• irrational
• unpredictable
• violent
• moody
• temperamental
• bitter

How did they model the kind of person you did not want to be?

Also think about positive examples demonstrated by those who are:

• cheerful
• faithful
• affectionate
• helpful
• patient
• complimentary
• grace-filled
• optimistic
• kind
• longsuffering
• funny
• gentle
• soft-spoken
• generous
• encouraging
• affirming

How did they inspire you to be the kind of person you are?

Think of the people who modeled for you:

• trust in God
• forgiveness
• tenacity
• love of life
• integrity
• creativity
• spunk
• thoughtfulness
• inquisitiveness
• commitment
• joy
• self-discipline
• honesty
• loyalty
• humility
• contentment

Believe this:

Your stories can serve as guides

for your kids, grandkids, great-grands, friends, and other readers.

Your stories can influence who they choose to be.

Your stories are important.

Write them!

Tuesday Tidbit: Where can you find your stories?

Today we’re following up on Your stories: Where do you find them?

Set aside time to think about a key item and its significance to you and your family’s history.

Ponder its importance while you drink your morning coffee, when you do your chores, and sit in the dentist’s chair, and fold laundry, and exercise.

If those items could talk, what stories would they tell?

Also check out Dr.Lori Verderame’s article about how old possessions can boost memories of Alzheimer patients.

Your stories: Where do you find them?

Your stories are all around you, just waiting for you to put them in writing.

Look at your cell phone contact list, your address book, your Facebook friends, your email inbox, your Twitter friends—what stories can you write about some of those people?

What stories can you write about the fun you had with them? About the adventures? What did you learn alongside them about failure, hard work, success, romance, illness, teamwork?

What skills did those people teach you?

What lessons did they teach you?

Who taught you about honesty, integrity, perseverance, kindness, compassion, generosity, faith in God? How, specifically, did those individuals shape you and encourage you to be the person you are today?

Write your stories! But not just stories. God-and-you stories.

Stories are everywhere. Look around your office or your house. What have you tucked into a special drawer or a safe deposit box?

If a tornado siren sounded, or if a smoke alarm went off, what would you grab and take to a safe place?

If those items could talk, what stories would they tell?

I think about that question a lot.

Someday I want to write stories based on my old blue American Tourister carry-on bag (a gift from Schiefelbeins before Dave and I left for Africa; thanks, Rick and Marilyn!). It has traveled with me for 24 years and counting, across three continents: from this planet’s most primitive places to the world’s most sophisticated cities—and what stories it could tell! Not just stories, but God-and-me stories.

What stories would my husband’s grandmother’s aluminum colander tell? And her ironing board? I don’t know how many years Grandma Jennings used them, but I’ve used them for 50 years! Five generations of our family (so far) have used those items. Imagine what stories they could tell—stories of God’s faithfulness to our family, generation after generation.

Why have you thrown out some possessions but kept others for many years?

Why could you never throw them out or give them away? Because they represent something important to you. What is that something?

Look around and ask yourself:

“If this dining room table could talk, what stories would it tell?”

“If my old Bible could talk, what stories would it tell?”

“If these boots could talk, what stories would they tell?”

What about a photo? A book? Washing machine? Piece of art? Jewelry? Woodworking tools? Coffee mug? Mechanical tools? Art supplies? A vase? A favorite old devotional book?

Many items could tell stories—stories significant to you and your family.

Set aside time to think about a key item. Ponder its importance: while you drive to work or mow the lawn or brush your teeth or walk the dog or drive the grandkids to baseball practice.

Look at old photos connected with the item—photos of places and people.

What questions do you need to ask?

What questions do you need to ask yourself?

Peel back layers. Wait for answers. Listen for them.

When answers surface, write your stories—not just stories. Write God-and-you stories.

Remember, while you’ve been using and enjoying those items, God has always been with you, working in you, working on your behalf.

Your stories are all around you. You don’t need to experience news-making miracles to witness God at work. He is in your everyday comings and goings.

Oswald Chambers says it this way:

“We look for visions from heaven

and for earth-shaking events

to see God’s power.

Yet we never realize that

all the time God is at work

in our everyday events….”

Write your stories!

Tuesday Tidbit: Wait until your story is ready

Making peace with our problems—our heartaches, disasters, tragedies, mysteries—often takes time. God's timetable is usually different than ours—He often makes us wait—but within our waiting, God acts (even if we don't sense that He's doing anything).

So, too, our stories: Stories need time to marinate.

Remember a memoir's unique characteristics: It requires reflecting on the past, looking back to an earlier time, pondering what happened, and examining what it means now, years later.

Perhaps you've discovered that in your waiting, your story has come to maturity.

You've found some answers long hidden. You've discovered some clarification over past mysteries.

Your story has ripened. It is ready.

It's time to begin writing your memoir.

Here's something interesting and delightful: In writing your rough draft, God will continue working. Even more puzzle pieces will fall into place. You'll stumble upon answers that evaded you to long. You'll find additional healing from past heartaches. How amazing is that?!

There you have it, 

your 15 seconds of inspiration, 

your Tuesday Tidbit.

Tuesday Tidbit: “Catch it before it is gone”

“Can we listen to ourselves

in the silence?

Can we sit and wait

for the whispers of our souls

to come creeping, slowly, falteringly,

letter by letter, through our pens?

Can we allow our truest selves

to tell their stories

through the gateway of broken language…?

Catch it before it is gone,

capture it in a jumble of letters….”

Edith Ó Nualláin

So there you have it, your 15 seconds of inspiration,

your Tuesday Tidbit.

I hope it inspires you to write your memoir—before it’s too late.

Tuesday Tidbit: Leave behind much more than your possessions

Here’s your 15 seconds of inspiration,

today’s Tuesday Tidbit:

“What is your legacy to the world?

What will happen to your experiences,

thoughts, perceptions,

and memories—

the stories you’ve created to make sense of life?

Will you contribute to the rich history of your family

by writing your own stories?

Or will you leave behind

only your possessions

and other physical evidence of your time on earth?”

Amber Lea Starfire, “Why your stories matter”

(emphasis mine)

Be sure to read the rest of Amber Lea Starfire's post. 

It will inspire you!

As if a hand has taken yours

Because exciting things are happening in our family, 

my blog posts are brief but, I hope, 

meaningful to you personally as well as in writing your memoir.