Tuesday Tidbit: Your memoir’s takeaways can change lives

 

Where do you put takeaways in your memoir? (If you missed last week’s post on what takeaways are, click on Your memoir’s all-important takeaways.) 

 

“Takeaway happens within a reflection,” point out Brooke Warner and Dr. Linda Joy Myers. (To read more about the importance of reflection in memoir, click on Reflection and the words we use.)

 

“Takeaway can be a reflection, but not all reflection is takeaway,” they continue. “… [W]herever there is reflection, there is an opportunity for a takeaway, but that doesn’t mean that necessarily all reflections are going to be takeaways.”

 

In other words, takeaways accompany segments in your memoir in which you reflect. You will reflect multiple times throughout your memoir. Some if not all of them will be opportunities for you to include a takeaway for your readers—those bits of wisdom to live by.

And don’t beat around the bush! Pinpoint your message. Clarity is your goal. (Please, please, read my blog post about writers who circle all around The Point but never state The Point. Click on What’s the point?)

 

Dedicate quality time to crafting your takeaways. Specify what was the most important message or lesson you took away from that experience (the one you’re reflecting on). Boil it down, write a concise message for your readers.

 

Here are examples of takeaways:

“Life is composed of cycles and seasons. Nothing lasts forever.” Dr. Henry Cloud

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'" (Mary Anne  Radmacher) 

“We find by losing. We hold fast by letting go. We become something new by ceasing to be something old.” (Frederick Buechner)  

 

In this example from Steve Pemberton’s A Chance in the World, I’ve underlined the takeaway: “Looking back, this was a galvanizing moment. The Robinsons had taken away any semblance of my childhood, something I could never get back. But now this new edict, vile and ignorant, threatened my future. At some point in our lives, we all have to make a decision to take a stand, knowing full well the potential harmful consequences. For me that decision came in the fall of 1982, at the age of fifteen.”

 

Most memoirists place takeaways throughout their memoirs. If you have a conclusion, a postscript, or an epilogue in your memoir, reiterate your most important takeaways in them, too.

 

Your takeaways are the most powerful part of your memoir.

They offer readers hope,

or wisdom, or courage, or laughter,

or a solution, or a new way of living or loving.

 

Your takeaways, then, communicate to readers:

“I know this is true because I have experienced it,

I have lived it. It changed my life.

Perhaps it will change your life, too.”

 

 

At first your takeaways will resemble diamonds-in-the-rough. Your job is to cut and polish and make those gems sparkle. Doing so adds to their value for both you and your readers.

 

There you have it: Your Tuesday Tidbit.

 

Tuesday Tidbit: Your memoir’s all-important takeaways

 

People will read your memoir for its takeaways.

 

What’s a takeaway?

 

It’s a gem you unearthed during all your remembering and reflecting that’s so important in writing a memoir. (Be sure to read our earlier post, “Dig out the gems, in pieces if you must.”)

 

In examining what you unearthed, and in re-evaluating it, you gained clarity and wisdom, and that helped make sense of your life—which you offer to your readers.

 

Takeaways are what readers “take away” from your memoir. A takeaway is a meaningful sentence or two that speaks to something deep inside the reader.

 

He recognizes himself in your story. When he stumbles upon your takeaway, he will pause to think, to re-read the words, slowly. He might underline the passage. Or maybe highlight it. Or write notes in the margin. Your memoir’s takeaway offers him lessons he will carry with them after he’s read the last page and closed the back cover.

How do you, the writer,

discover a takeaway in your life’s story?

 

Think back. At some point,

you had an A-ha moment, and a light came on.

Puzzle pieces began falling into place.

You gained clarity.

You discovered a solution.

It was a turning point.

You were not the same person after that.

 

That’s good, that’s exciting.

Such discoveries can be defining moments for you,

life-changers—but go beyond that.

Share the benefits of that experience with your readers

by crafting a takeaway.

Offer them their own A-ha moment.

Offer them something of value.

 

In other words, in a concise way give words to the principle you learned—think of the takeaway as a precept, a saying, a guideline, an adage—something readers can live by, a principle that can be life-changing for them, too.

 

Use your takeaway to offer readers hope,

or wisdom,

or courage,

or laughter,

or a solution,

or a new way of living or loving.

 

Your takeaways, then, communicate to readers: “I know this is true because I have experienced it, I have lived it. It changed my life. Perhaps it will change your life, too.”

 

Come back next week when we’ll continue working on takeaways.

 

There you have it, your Tuesday Tidbit.

 

“Don’t get rid of the pain until you’ve learned its lessons”

 

As you reflect on the past and write your memoir, you’ll need to examine painful experiences.

 

Even “happy” memoirs

will include an element of sadness

or displeasure or ache.

 

That’s because even the happiest lives include

challenges, disappointments, and obstacles.

 

Life includes an unwelcome surprise or two.

Heartaches, too.

 

And some lives include terrible suffering.

 

Writing about painful happenings can be agonizing because it requires you to relive the experience.

 

From a spiritual angle, we’re often tempted to question God, asking Him “Why?”  

 

Why would He make me wait so long for relief from a desperate situation?

 

Why does He allow my children or parents or spouse to suffer?

 

Why does God seem so distant and uninvolved in my life?

 

Why doesn’t God love me enough to do something?

 

Why did He allow a loved one to die?

 

But writing can also bring healing if,

in the process of writing,

you look at the hurtful incident carefully, dissect it,

and try to make sense of it

in ways you might not have in the past.

 

Jenn Soehnlin offers good advice in her article, “When you find yourself asking God ‘Why?’”

 

For a long time, Jenn had been asking God “Why?”  But, she writes, “One day . . . God was telling me I was asking the wrong question.

 

“What other question is there? I wondered.”

 

Jenn continues, “I didn’t get an answer right away, but when it came, it shifted my perspective.

 

“The question to ask was not “why?” but “what?” with a heart to learn God’s heart.

 

“For example, ‘What do You want me to learn from this . . . ? What good do You want to come from this?”

 

She continues, “By asking ‘what?’ instead of ‘why?’ it puts God back on His throne.

 

“Asking ‘what?’ suggests humility, trusting God.

 

“Asking ‘why?’ suggests a hostility toward God’s character, that He isn’t really good or cannot really be trusted, or a belief that we know better than the Creator Himself.

 

“It requires . . . an intentional decision to trust that God is teaching us something,” Jenn says, “and that it is for our ultimate good and the good of others around us, that we can impact others with what we’ve been learning.”

 

Did you catch that last bit? It could be that God has allowed painful things to happen for your ultimate good (such as spiritual growth and personal maturity—such as knowing God better and loving Him more), and for the good of other people—through your memoir.

 

Jenn writes, “It makes hard times a little easier to bear, knowing that there is something to learn—and one day, to teach and encourage others from what we learned during our hard circumstances.”

 

Jenn’s words are so wise, so good.

That’s why I always link writing memoirs

to 2 Corinthians 1:3-4: “The God of all comfort . . .  

comforts us in all our troubles, so that

we can comfort those in any trouble

with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

 

Reflection is such an important aspect of writing a memoir—and such an important aspect of loving and serving God. Many times in Scriptures, God tells us to remember what He did in the past for us and our loved ones.

 

Reflection: A time for re-evaluating assumptions we made in the past, for taking a fresh look at conclusions we came to in the past. A time for asking God “what?” instead of “why?”

 

“Don’t get rid of the pain

until you’ve learned its lessons.

When you hold the pain consciously and trust fully,

you are in a very liminal space.

This is a great teaching moment

where you have the possibility of breaking through

to a deeper level of faith and consciousness.

Hold the pain of being human

until God transforms you through it.

And then you will be

an instrument of transformation for others.”

(Richard Rohr, adapted from

The Authority of Those Who Have Suffered)

 

 

 

Tuesday Tidbit: You have 365 writing opportunities before you

 

Author and writing mentor Nancy Julien Kopp’s words

on New Year's Eve made my heart dance.

They brought me energy.

And a smile.

 

She said I could share them with you.

Prepare to be inspired!

 

“This next year gives us 365 opportunities,” Nancy writes.

 

“Think what those 365 opportunities mean to those in the writing world. Wow! You have 365 days to pursue your craft in the best way you know how.

 

“Each day of the year is a gift that we’re given. It’s up to us to decide what to do with each one.”

 

Nancy continues, “If you’re a writer, writing should be somewhere on your daily plan.

 

“Some days will be filled with writing projects and anything related to them besides the actual new writing,” she said. “Research, editing, revising . . . come to mind.

 

Nancy asks, “What are you going to do with these 365 opportunities?”

 

Nancy’s message reminds me of what Lee Roddy said:

 

“An unfinished manuscript cannot change lives.

Even a finished one cannot minister

in a drawer or filing cabinet.”

(quoted in Marlene Bagnulls’ Write His Answer)

 

And finally, Nancy leaves us with this encouragement:

 

“Maybe today is a good day

to think about your goals for 2022.

What do you want to accomplish this next year?

 

“. . . For this next year,

I wish you joy in your writing world,

that you grow as a writer,

and that you have many successes.

Don’t forget that you have 365 opportunities

to accomplish all of them.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

 

Thanks, Nancy, for the inspiration!

 

There you have it: Your Tuesday Tidbit.