Thursday, September 27, 2018

Find healing through the process of writing your memoir


If you’re just starting to write your memoir, I have important advice for you.

When a friend of mine began his memoir, he started by writing about the most traumatic year of his life. Whoa!

I’ve seen other people begin by writing super-painful stuff, only to become overwhelmed all over again with the devastation—and soon they gave up writing altogether. Don’t let that happen to you!

Please hear this: Begin your memoir by writing your easy stories—the happy stories, the funny incidents, the fascinating experiences. That way you can ease your way into both writing and the reflecting that memoir is.

My heart wants you to fall in love with
remembering
and pondering
and discovering all the good stuff you didn’t recognize in the past,
and with making sense of what used to mystify you,
and with writing,
            and with choosing just the right words
                        to fashion your story as a gift for others to read.

Here's some good news: You don’t need to write your chapters/vignettes in the same order they will appear in your finished memoir. Write them in any order that’s easiest for you. Later you can organize them in the best way.

For now, give yourself permission to start with easy stories. Tackle your hard stories later.

Also, keep this in mind: Even if you’re not physically putting your painful story into words (with pen and ink or on a computer screen), you are working on the story. I can’t explain how that works but, behind the scenes, your heart and brain are working on how to write your troubling scenes.  

So, let your heartache marinate for a few more weeks or months. One day you’ll be vacuuming out the car, or playing catch with your grandson, or folding laundry when out of the blue, your heart and brain will speak to you (or maybe it’ll be God who speaks to you—I’d like to think it’s Him), and that voice will offer insights into your hurtful experience. Listen, and jot down notes to yourself: You’ll be mining treasures. Later you can use those notes to compose your difficult story’s rough draft

Also, remember: Your rough draft is for your eyes only. Write it all—the seared, charred, blistered parts, the questions you never had the courage to ask aloud, the doubts you never admitted before, the anger you kept bottled up.

Work out the pain—
work through the pain—
by writing with God beside you.

Wrestle with God
and with yourself
as you write.
Go ahead and cry.
Why?
Because God can bring healing
through the process of writing.

And be gentle with yourself, extend grace to yourself: Reliving those emotions and writing those scenes and conversations can be overwhelming.

I know of no anguish-free way to get through that writing process, but I can encourage you with this:

Write your story as a prayer to God
and He can use the process of writing
to help you make sense of events that
knocked the air out of you,
left you broken,
confused,
weary,
hopeless—
maybe even paralyzed—
and He can help you work through your grief.

If you’ll give it the needed time and if you’ll peel back enough layers and dig deep enough, writing your stories can lead to new insights, to answers that too long evaded you, and to resolution—to getting un-stuck so you can move on to healing and forgiveness and peace and hope for the future. Writing your story changes you.

If you stick with it, at some point you'll find the most profound, redeeming part of writing your story:
  • You'll discover that God was beside you all the while, bringing you people and opportunities and Bible verses and Bible studies and sermons, working out His good plans—many details you probably didn't recognize in the midst of the incident, or saw only dimly, and
  • you'll also discern how far you've come, how much you've healed.
  • That, in turn, makes you overflow with gratitude toward God,
  • and that solidifies your relationship with Him.

Mick Silva says it this way: “I’ve discovered that…protecting and preserving our stories is about discovering God’s story.” I call that your “God-and-you story.”

In that way, writing a memoir can be a journey of personal healing—even if you originally set out to write it for others.

And this is important: At some point, you’ll revise your manuscript. Your first draft, that for-your-eyes-only draft, will remain what it is. But use that rough material to craft a rewrite of your memoir for others to read.

Let God transform you 
through writing that painful first draft, 
and afterward, 
your God-and-you story can help others heal.


P. S. Did you read Tuesday’s post about Kathy Pooler’s experience writing her memoir? If you missed it, click on “Unveiling all the painful truths.” Since most memoirists must write about something painful, you don’t want to miss Kathy’s wisdom and encouragement.





Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Tuesday Tidbit: “Unveiling all the painful truths”


“Unveiling all the painful truths would expose my children,” writes memoirist Kathleen Pooler, “and I constantly asked myself:

“Do I have the right to do that? Will it be worth it? Will it affect our relationship as adults?

“I knew I could not publish this story without the full cooperation of both my children.”

And Kathy’s children, bless their hearts, did give their mother their full cooperation.

“The answers to those questions,” continues Kathy, “all came in due time as the years passed and distance helped us all sort through the many layers of feelings. . . .

“This may be my story but it is also their story. . . . I think of my memoir as a love letter to them.”

Wow. Read that again: “I think of my memoir as a love letter to them.”

Soon you can read Kathy’s second memoir, Just the Way He Walked: A Mother’s Story of Hope and Healing. Watch for it!

Read her entire blog post, The Dedication of My Second Memoir: A Mother’s Story, and be sure to follow her at Kathleen Pooler Author on Facebook.

We all have a lot to learn from Kathy.


Kathy reminds me of this Elisabeth Elliot quote. Kathy’s blooming! 
And her memoir will inspire you to bloom, too.

There you have it, your Tuesday Tidbit.


Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Tuesday Tidbit: Writing is easy—or not!




Writing is easy—or not!


“Every writer who’s finished
has taken the axe into the woods
and carved out their path
where there seemed to be none before.
They broke through their blocked way
swinging word after word after word.”

So persevereword after word after word!

Remember: One story can change a life. Who needs to read yours?


There you have it, your Tuesday Tidbit.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Two MUSTs for you: ProWritingAid and Office 365’s Read Aloud


I’m in the final stages of proofreading my memoir—a chore that’s super-demanding. It’s the final step before hitting the “send” button.

You’re not ready for proofreading until critique partners and beta readers have given you feedback and you’ve made revisions. 

You’re not ready for proofreading until you’ve read your manuscript at least a hundred times and made oodles of changes and corrections.

Also, consider hiring a professional editor. Always remember: Your goal is a memoir of professional quality.

Take a look at the free version of ProWritingAid (click on that link).

Then click on the orange tab, “Start Web Editor.”

Copy and paste up to 500 words of your text in the box (following the easy instructions you’ll see).

Notice that in the blue-green ribbon at the top, you can choose “Writing Style” and “Language.”

Then notice the ribbon below that. Experiment. Get acquainted with your other choices such as style, grammar, clichĂ©s, etc. Don’t miss the diction and repeats tab!

You’ll see an analysis pop up on the left side of your screen. Click on down-arrows for specifics. You can then edit your manuscript as you see fit.

Use the free version of ProWritingAid—it’s a treasure!


When you think your manuscript is absolutely perfect, it’s time to proofread.

Here’s my recommendation:

Look into Microsoft 365’s Read Aloud.

Why? Because brains and eyes hinder us when it comes to proofreading.
 
Our brains know what’s supposed to be there—what we meant to write—and our eyes, influenced by our brains, get lazy and overlook typos or missing words, especially small words like “the” and “an.”

For proofreading, our ears are better friends. Ears pick up irregularities such as missing words or extra words.

That’s why I encourage you to use Read Aloud. Here’s how:

Open the chapter you want to proofread.

In the blue ribbon at the top of your computer screen, click on View.

Next, in the ribbon below the blue, click on Learning Tools. If the letters in your document appear to be spaced apart, click on Text Spacing to normalize the formatting.

Place your cursor at the beginning of your text.

Click on Read Aloud. In a few seconds, you should hear a man reading your text! How cool is that?! All you have to do is read along with him to spot missing words, duplicate words, or other boo-boos.

Your ears will also alert you to words that are clunky or have multiple syllables when you could use a word that’s more compact. You don’t want to interrupt your readers with words that distract them.

Your ears will also help you notice wordiness and sentences that are long, complicated, or arranged in the wrong order. You don’t want to interrupt your readers with sentences that distract them.

To pause and resume reading, use the little tab at the top right of your document. That’s where you can also change the reading speed and choose from other voices.

You want your finished memoir to be as professional as possible.

ProWritingAid and Read Aloud can help you perfect your work.







Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Tuesday Tidbit: Think of your words filling the pages


Have you worked on your memoir in the past few days?

Following up on our last post, Is this the year you’ll finish your memoir?, let me ask again: 

Is this the year you’ll finalize your manuscript?

Is this the year you’ll pin down your memoir’s title?

Is this the year your book will get its cover design?

Is this the year you’ll publish your memoir?

Is this the year people—even strangers—will buy and read your memoir?

Is this the year your story will change lives?

Here’s a quote to spur you on:




There you have it, your Tuesday Tidbit.

Now, get off the internet and go write!


Thursday, September 6, 2018

Is this the year you’ll publish your memoir?


Whew! Are you like me? When Labor Day is behind us and the kids start school, I catch my breath and mentally turn and step into a different chunk of the year.

Summer has lots of distractions—fun distractions, usually—but when we flip the calendar page to September, thoughts shift to upcoming frost, shorter days, and indoor activities.

And that brings me to this indoor activity: How are you doing on your memoir?

Is this the year you’ll finalize your manuscript?

Is this the year you’ll pin down your memoir’s title?

Is this the year your book will get its cover design?

Is this the year you’ll publish your memoir?

Is this the year people—even strangers—will buy and read your memoir?

Is this the year your story will change lives?

If you’re like many of us, over the summer you took a break from writing to spend time with family and friends, and now you need motivation to continue authoring your story.

Are you struggling to find that motivation—that incentive, that enthusiasm? If so, you’re not alone.

Mick Silva at Higher Purpose Writers posted on Facebook a couple of years ago:  “ . . . Everyone says [persistence] is the most important part of writing. I’ve said it to all my clients: Most people don’t finish. Even if they finish a draft, they don’t follow through with the rewriting, or the rereading and editing. They just stop. . . .”

Refuse to let that happen to you!

Mick also offers this encouragement: “Consistent baby steps are important for when passion wanes.”

So you need to persist and recognize that baby steps result in progress.

And here’s a Nora Roberts quote to inspire you to keep working:

“. . . You have to be driven. You have to have the three D’s: drive, discipline, and desireIf you’re missing any one of those three, you can have all the talent in the world, but it’s going to be really hard to get anything done.”

Here’s my advice: Pat yourself on the back for how far you’ve already come.

Since the clock is ticking, be intentional: Keep penning your first draft. Don’t judge your writing at this point. Sure, you’ll have to fix it, but you’ll tackle that later. For now, just write!

Focus. Resolve to complete your book.

Persevere.

Pray.

Writing and publishing your memoir is not a hobbyit’s a ministry.

You can do this! You can!





Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Tuesday Tidbit: Your hardships and heartaches



You’ve had your share of adversities. Maybe it seems you’ve had more than your share.



C. S. Lewis observed that “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny. . . .” What did your hardships prepare you for? (And don’t for a moment think that you and your life are not extraordinary!)

Stand back and contemplate—ponder, wonder about, mull over, reflect, analyze—the hardships you’ve experienced. Is it possible they served a good purpose?

In the midst of our sufferings, we rarely find any good. But later—ah, later—maybe we can discover blessings within those heartaches, those things we thought, at the time, might kill us, or at least leave us permanently scarred.

You’ll find added inspiration from Frederick Buechner in his Wishful Thinking:

“The grace of God means something like:
‘Here is your life.
You might never have been, but you are,
because the party wouldn’t have been complete without you.

Here is the world.
Beautiful and terrible things will happen.
Don’t be afraid.
I am with you.’”

In your memoir, tell readers how God brought beauty from ashes, joy from mourning, and praise in place of despair (see Isaiah 61:3).

Write those stories as an act of worship.

God will use your experiences, your words,
and your message to bring hope to others.
Believe it!


There you have it—your Tuesday Tidbit.