Your key people: Who are they and how did they shape you?

Today we continue looking at ways to rediscover stories from the past so you can include them in your memoir. 

(Click on these recent posts if you missed them: Your stories: Where do you find them? and Where can you find your stories? And don't miss Sharon Lippincott's comment: "I just wrote a section for my Work in Progress about all the stories packed into a copper Aztec calendar that has hung on walls in four houses for nearly fifty years now....")

Look over the list of people, below. Take your time. A few will stand out because they played a significant role in shaping who you are today. Their words or actions caught your attention, taught you, inspired you, helped you make good choices—and maybe even changed the direction of your life. 

• your best friend in high school
• grandparent
• pilot
• school bus driver
• neighbor
• boss
• lifeguard
• parents
• politician
• college roommate
• janitor
• pastor
• grandchild
• professor
• fireman
• Scout leader
• librarian
• law enforcement person
• pediatrician
• sibling
• teacher
• garbage collector
• farmer
• foster parents
• Sunday School teacher
• crosswalk guard
• aunt or uncle
• fellow student
• boss
• homeless person
• author
• teammate
• a person with Down Syndrome
• social worker
• in-laws
• military veteran
• a stranger

Did one or more person catch your attention? If so, ask yourself how different you’d be if that person hadn’t come into your life. Jot down ideas now, and in coming days and weeks craft a rough draft.

Sometimes the best life lessons result from dealing with negative people—they model the kind of person you don’t want to be. Ask yourself what you learned from people who:

• gossip
• bully
• lie
• break promises
• whine
• manipulate
• steal
• criticize
• judge
• abuse
• complain

Think about people who are:

• fickle
• jealous
• addicted to alcohol or drugs
• perfectionists
• irrational
• unpredictable
• violent
• moody
• temperamental
• bitter

How did they model the kind of person you did not want to be?

Also think about positive examples demonstrated by those who are:

• cheerful
• faithful
• affectionate
• helpful
• patient
• complimentary
• grace-filled
• optimistic
• kind
• longsuffering
• funny
• gentle
• soft-spoken
• generous
• encouraging
• affirming

How did they inspire you to be the kind of person you are?

Think of the people who modeled for you:

• trust in God
• forgiveness
• tenacity
• love of life
• integrity
• creativity
• spunk
• thoughtfulness
• inquisitiveness
• commitment
• joy
• self-discipline
• honesty
• loyalty
• humility
• contentment

Believe this:

Your stories can serve as guides

for your kids, grandkids, great-grands, friends, and other readers.

Your stories can influence who they choose to be.

Your stories are important.

Write them!

Tuesday Tidbit: Where can you find your stories?

Today we’re following up on Your stories: Where do you find them?

Set aside time to think about a key item and its significance to you and your family’s history.

Ponder its importance while you drink your morning coffee, when you do your chores, and sit in the dentist’s chair, and fold laundry, and exercise.

If those items could talk, what stories would they tell?

Also check out Dr.Lori Verderame’s article about how old possessions can boost memories of Alzheimer patients.

Creating future stories

Since you are busy this week with holiday doings, and since I am busy this week, I’m keeping this post brief.

I’m spending time with my three grandsons, all the while thinking—as a good memoir geek would—that this week we are creating story material for future memoirs!

Happy New Year, friends!

Grandpa and the boys found something in a tide pool.

What could it be?

A baby octopus!

Why did you underline them?

What verses have you underlined or highlighted in your Bible? Look over a few and ask yourself why they are special to you. Why and how did they speak to your heart? During which event or era were those verses your delight? Or your instruction? Or your only hope?

Stories that go with those verses could provide good material for your memoir.

Recently I spent half an hour looking through an old Bible, the one I used from the mid-1980s through the early 1990s. Reading underlined passages sent me back to the ministries I had during those years, and to specific locales, and they reminded me of people and situations and heartaches and joys.

Reading them again also showed me God was always there in the midst, working out His best, whether or not I knew it at the time.

Below are a few verses from Genesis and Exodus that I found underlined. Perhaps in reading them you, too, will discover story ideas of your own.

Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. (Genesis 24:1)

All nations on earth will be blessed because Abraham obeyed me.… (Genesis 26:4-5)

God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering. (Genesis 41:52)

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done.… (Genesis 50:20)

I have seen the misery of my people.… I have heard them crying out.… I am concerned about their suffering.… I have come down to rescue them. (Exodus 3:7-8)

I have watched over you and have seen what has been done to you.… (Exodus 3:16)

When they heard that the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their misery, they bowed down and worshipped.  (Exodus 4:31)

Now you will see what I will do.… Then you will know that I am the Lord your God. (Exodus 6:1-7)

The Lord kept vigil that night.… (Exodus 12:42)

They were terrified and cried out to the Lord. (Exodus 14:10)

I will sing to the Lord,

            for he is highly exalted.…

The Lord is my strength and my song;

            he has become my salvation.

He is my God, and I will praise him. (Exodus 15:1-2)

I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself. (Exodus 19:4)

Moses approached the thick darkness where God was. (Exodus 20:21)

Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness. Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong.… Do not pervert justice by siding with the crowd.… (Exodus 23:1-3)

Moses said to the Lord … “You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you.” And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”(Exodus 33:12-13, 17)

Everyone who was willing and whose heart moved him came and brought an offering to the Lord.… (Exodus 35:20)

Take a few days to go through your Bible and find old passages you cherish, verses that changed your life, passages you held onto in dark times, verses that made you fall down in worship. Then write your stories!

Triggering story ideas for your memoir

This is your own personal, private worksheet.

It might take you days or weeks to come up with answers

but go ahead and get started.

The purpose of this exercise is to remember significant people

and situations, 

some of which will trigger story ideas for your memoir,

stories that will inspire your readers

and help them navigate through their own lives.

What is the most courageous act you’ve witnessed? The most cowardly? What did you learn from them?

What was the happiest day of your life? The saddest? How did those days change you?

Who was your best childhood friend? High school friend? College friend? Adult friend? How did he/she shape your life?

Who was your favorite older person when you were a child? Why was he/she so special?

What did you want to be when you grew up?

What was your favorite childhood book? Why? How did it impact you?

What’s the best book you’ve read in the past ten years? How did it influence you?

Who was your favorite teacher/professor/coach and how did he/she shape your life?

Who/what disappointed you most in your childhood? Adulthood? How?

What was the biggest “Aha!” moment of your life?

What makes you scared? Happy?

What has been your most serious health issue? How did it impact your life?

List two or three crossroads in your life. Where did your decisions take you? What would your life have been like if you had made different decisions at those pivotal moments?

If you could undo one foolish choice, what would it be?

What was the funniest thing you ever said or did? The saddest or worst?

Who or what taught you the importance of honesty? When were you hurt because someone lied to you? How did those incidents shape you into who you are today? 

When did you give up and quit? When did you refuse to give up and quit?

What was the proudest moment of your life? The most humiliating?

What was the most generous act you’ve witnessed? The most selfish? How did they impact you?

What was the hardest decision you’ve ever made? What was the outcome?

What’s the worst mistake you’ve made? What did you learn from it?

What was your biggest disappointment? Did you discover a “silver lining” afterward?

How did you learn about God? What is your opinion of Him?

What’s your favorite song? Movie? Poem? How have they molded your life?

What important thing do you want to experience before you die? Why?


Here’s something else to ponder: In The Shelter of God’s Promises, Sheila Walsh tells of receiving a letter from a woman about her illness, financial problems, and a broken marriage. Sheila writes, “Amid her description of all these hardships, one line in the letter arrested my attention because of its profound simplicity: ‘I would not have made it this far without the promises of God.’” Sheila then asks us to think about our own experiences and fill in the following blank: “I would not have made it this far without _____________.”

How can you incorporate this, or something similar, in your memoir?


Finally—and of great importance—trace the ways God has led you: over mountains, through valleys, in sunshine and clouds, across deep waters, from beginning to end, because “In God’s unfailing love, He leads the people He has redeemed” (Exodus 15:13).

Always remember the things you’ve seen God do for you, 

and be sure to tell our children and grandchildren!

Deuteronomy 4:9