Back to Basics: Who are the significant people in your life?

 

Think about an individual who made a significant impact on your life—someone who changed you, whose life still ripples through yours today even if you live far apart, or even if that person has died:

• A soldier
• Fireman
• Parent
• Grandparent
• Aunt or uncle or cousin
• Preacher
• Teacher
• Singer
• Supervisor
• Janitor
• Missionary
• Neighbor
• Doctor
• Store clerk
• Professor
• Farmer
• Policeman
• Classmate
• Teammate
• College roommate

 

What, specifically, did she do that impacted your life?

What words did he say that made all the difference?

What good example did she live which inspired you to live in the same way?

How did his choices give you the courage to shape yours?

How different could your life have turned out without that person’s involvement?

 

You’ll want to include some of these people in your memoir.

 

Memoirist Kathy Pooler (who recently passed away) reminded us: “Hindsight seems to bring about new clarity and wisdom,” so take time—make time—to seek clarity and wisdom to discern how God brought people into your life and made you who you are today.

 

You might not have recognized, back then, 

the significance of that person’s mark on your life, 

so dig deep into your memory.

 

Note the ways God used them to protect you, give you hope, maybe redirect you, and strengthen your faith.

 

Start writing even before you have remembered everything,

even before you know where your story is going,

or how it will end.

 

Why?

 

Because much more hides within your experience than you realize right now. Writing leads to discovery. Roger Housden says it this way:

 

“[A]s much as we think we know about our story, there is far more waiting to surprise us when our own words hit the page.”

 

So, write your stories!

 

Write them not as a hobby,

but as a ministry to your family and friends

—and even to strangers.

 

Your kids and grandkids and great-grands—and all your readers—need to know about the people who invested in you and guided you—and probably even kept you from doing something stupid.

 

Just think: Your stories could have a life-changing impact on your readers, passing the original blessings on to future generations.

 

“There are generations yet unborn

whose very lives will be shifted and shaped

by the moves you make and the actions you take today. . . .”

(Andy Andrews, The Butterfly Effect)

 

Come back next week: I’ll offer specifics to help you write about key people in your life.

 

When you didn’t even know God was there: Discovering His fingerprints

 

As you compose your memoir, take special note of what God was doing—even if at the time, His role was under the radar.

 

Maybe what you thought was a mere coincidence was much more—it was God Himself intervening.

 

Lloyd Ogilvie writes about the parable of the Good Samaritan and the phrase “now by chance” in Luke 10:31-35:

 

“Now by chance a priest was going down the road,” as was a Levite after him, and a Samaritan after him.

 

Ogilvie writes:

 

“The Greek word translated by the word ‘chance’

means ‘coincidence.’

But not even that word gets at the core of the meaning

of the Greek word. . . .

It means a confluence of circumstances

which seem to happen by chance

but are really events interwoven

by divine providence

for the accomplishment of a greater purpose.”

(Silent Strength for My Life)

 

Read that again.

 

In writing your memoir, look for occasions when something seemed to happen by chance or seemed coincidental. Ask yourself: Were they, in reality, “events interwoven by divine providence”—by God’s foresight and guidance and plan?

 

Give yourself plenty of time to search for answers.

 

Remember what makes memoir so rich, so special. A memoir goes beyond writing about what happened.

 

It involves discovering the significance of what happened

and what you did about it or with it.

 

Reflection is a key ingredient in writing a memoir. Most people need to work on reflecting because, as Richard Foster observes, “The sad truth is that many authors simply have never learned to reflect substantively on anything.”

 

The remedy?

 

To reflect in a meaningful, deliberate way.

 

Take a closer look at the incidents in your life, your decisions, your relationships:

 

• Consider
• Ponder
• Contemplate
• Deliberate
• Ruminate
• Cogitate
• Wonder
• Mull over
• Chew on
• Wonder about
• Think about
• Weigh
• And study

 

• Look back
• Peel away layers
• Excavate
• Find the gems.
• Dig them out in pieces if you must, but dig them out.
• Inspect them. Look for God’s fingerprints.

 

Spend as much time as you need to make sense of what you discover—to pinpoint those aspects of your life that were indeed not just coincidence, not just something that happened by chance, but were in fact the work of God.

 

This week search for any of God’s fingerprints you might have overlooked in the past. Put in writing how your life changed as a result. How did God use the event to prepare you for the future? Deepen your faith?

 

Think about what Jacob said in Genesis 28:16,

 

“God was in this place and I wasn’t even aware of it.”

When has that happened in your life?

 

Uncover the richer, higher, deeper, wider, broader story,

the story of what God was doing.

 

Discovering that will change your heart and life

in ways you can’t imagine!

 

Twenty-six shapes: All you need to write your story

 

“Your story is important.” You’ve heard me say those words at least a hundred times.

 

“Someone needs to know your story.” I’ve also said those words over and over again.

 

I keep receiving reminders of those words and the truth of them, so I keep reminding you, too.

 

For example, just this morning I read the following words from Lloyd Ogilvie:

 

“All we have and are is a gift of grace to be shared. Everything that happens to us prepares us to develop deep, sharing relationships. . . . Everything grace has given us is for others.”

 

Ogilvie continues: “When we go through the valleys of trials or stand on the mountaintops of victory, we are being prepared to enter into the difficulties and victories of others.

 

“We go through all of this so that we can be able to say those empowering words of empathy, ‘I know what you are going through—I’ve been there!’

 

“Life is a school of grace

equipping us for a ministry of sharing,

developing confidence so we can say,

‘Thank You, Lord, for what has happened.

I can’t wait to see how You are going to use

what You have taught me

in sharing with someone

who will need just what I discovered!”

(Lloyd Ogilvie, Silent Strength for My Life)

 

And now I hope the following Andrew Solomon quote makes you chuckle, but I also hope it inspires awe.

Solomon wrote, “Despite every advancement, language remains the defining nexus of our humanity; it is where our knowledge and hope lie.

 

“It is the precondition of human tenderness, mightier than the sword but also infinitely more subtle and ultimately more urgent.

 

“Remember that writing things down makes them real; that it is nearly impossible to hate anyone whose story you know; and, most of all, that even in our post post-modern era, writing has a moral purpose.”

 

Solomon continues:  

 

“With twenty-six shapes arranged in varying patterns,

we can tell every story known to mankind,

and make up all the new ones. . . .

If you can give language to experiences previously starved for it,

you can make the world a better place.”

 

Who is the real author of your story?

Last week we touched on the importance of avoiding preachiness in our memoirs, of avoiding coming across as holier-than-thou. People won’t respond well if we have a know-it-all manner, as if we’ve “arrived.”

Instead of preaching at our readers, let’s just humbly tell our stories.

Rather than drawing attention to how awesome we are, let’s show readers how awesome God is!

It’s not all about what you and I did, but what God did.

Henri Nouwen offers us this wisdom:

“I need to learn to speak well of the work God is doing in my life…, not with self-congratulation but with humble awareness of divine activity.” (Henri Nouwen, Discernment)

Think about two prominent men in the Bible, David and Paul. We tend to think of them as set-apart saints, but they were regular people like you and me—they really messed up sometimes.

Their lives were a mixture of faith and disobedience, spiritual success and failures, yet God used them in mighty ways and continues to use them to this day. It’s not so much what David or Paul did, it’s what God did.

“Abraham is . . . one of the most important men in the history of the world,” writes Richard Peace. “What makes Abraham so important . . . is not his sterling character (which he did not have), his outstanding intellect (which may have existed but it is not mentioned), his charming personality (he could be pretty annoying), or substantial personal accomplishments (he has few, apart from his pilgrimage to the promised land).

“What Abraham is remembered for,” continues Peace, “is his faithfulness in obeying God’s call to undertake a long and demanding journey. It was not so much what Abraham did, but what God did. . . . In Abraham we see not so much a saint in action; rather, the faithfulness and graciousness of God. . . . In Abraham we see an ordinary man who is used by God, not because of who Abraham was, but because of who God is. . . .” (Richard Peace, Spiritual Storytelling)

Bottom line: Write your stories, not because of who you are, but because of who God is.

Praise the Lord . . .

Tell everyone what he has done. . . .

Remember all his miracles

and all his wonders

and his fair decisions. . . .”

Psalm 105:1-5 selected CEV

 . . . Our adequacy is from God. . . .

Therefore, having such a hope,

we use great boldness in our speech [or writing]. . . .

2 Corinthians 3:5, 12, NAS

Write your stories!

Depend on God to make you adequate for this awesome ministry.

Humbly use heavenly boldness in your writing.

God can use your story

to help others become all He intends for them to be.

What can you write in your memoir about prayer?

Does your memoir include a story about prayer? If it has a spiritual dimension, and if our theme verse resonates with you:  

“Always remember what you’ve seen God do for you,

and be sure to tell your children and grandchildren,”

then you probably will include something about prayer.

To help you, here are some questions to ponder:

• Who taught you to pray? Or who modeled for you the importance of prayer?
• Was there a time you were flat-out helpless to do anything but pray?
• Think about key times in your life in which you prayed and you saw God answer.
• What happened when God responded to your prayer with silence? Or when He answered your prayer differently than you hoped for?
• When did a “No” to your prayer result in something even better?
• What’s the most important aspect of prayer that you can impress upon your kids, grandkids, and great-grands?
• What stories can you write about prayer (yours or someone else’s) to teach readers about forgiveness, grace, wisdom, and hope? And about loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength? (Mark 12:30)

Here are inspirational tidbits to get your ideas percolating:

“Dear God, so often in my prayers I present You with my own agenda. I ask for guidance, and strength, and courage to do what I’ve already decided…. Help me to think of prayer throughout this day as simply reporting in for duty and asking for fresh marching orders. I want to be all that You want me to be, and I want to do what You have planned for me. May this morning prayer be the beginning of a conversation with You that lasts all through the day…. Amen.” (Lloyd John Ogilvie, Quiet Moments with God, February 22 selection based on Ephesians 6:18 “praying always…”)

“Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation” (Psalm 5:1-3).

“He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; He will not despise their plea. Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created will praise the Lord” (Psalm 102:17-18).

“Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the One who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference.” (Max Lucado, Discovering the Power of Prayer)   

“Have you ever found that your Father has answered a forgotten prayer? I have, and I always feel ashamed; it is so rude to forget.” (Amy Carmichael, Edges of His Ways, June 24 selection)    

“One of the experiences of prayer is that it seems that nothing happens. But when you stay with it and look back over a long period of prayer, you suddenly realize that something has happened.” (Henri Nouwen, The Genessee Diary)

“... Pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).

“If you are having difficulty loving or relating to an individual, take him to God. Bother the Lord with this person. Don't you be bothered with him—leave him at the throne.” (Charles R. Swindoll)

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your  Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, don't keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him” (Matthew 6:5-8).

“Isn’t it amazing how often people try everything but prayer? It’s like the old saying: ‘When everything else fails read the instructions.’ The same with prayer. When everything else fails, try prayer…. But Elijah [in 1 Kings 18:22-40] didn’t use prayer as a last resort. Prayer was his first and only resort. A simple prayer of faith was his major contact with the living Lord. It set everything into motion.

            “Let me ask you a straight-out question: Do you, personally, pray? Now notice that I didn’t say, ‘Do you listen when the preacher prays or when your parents pray?’ I didn’t say ‘Do you know a good Bible study on prayer?’ I didn’t even say, ‘Have you taught on prayer?’ I asked, ‘Do you, personally, pray?’ Can you look back over the last seven days and pinpoint times you deliberately set aside for prayer? Even just a solid ten or fifteen minutes of uninterrupted time with God?” (Charles R. Swindoll, Great Days with the Great Lives, p. 176) 

“ . . . Pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances...” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).  

What stories about prayer came to mind? 

Quick! Jot down a few notes now 

and work on that story in earnest in the next few days. 

Will you publish your memoir in 2018?

You might have set aside your writing over the holidays—I did. And I didn’t feel guilty about it.

Why? Because sometimes taking a break is exactly what we need to refresh, revitalize, and invigorate ourselves for the writing tasks ahead.

We just can’t let our breaks linger too long.

Determine in 2018 to make significant progress on your writing project. I’m guessing quite a few of you will publish your memoir in 2018!

Remember: Writing your memoir is not a hobby—it’s a ministry.

Your story is not your own.

It has been entrusted to you by God

for something bigger than you might realize right now.

In his devotional, Quiet Moments with God, Lloyd Ogilvie prays for God to help him be a communicator of His grace to others. He continues praying:

“All You have taught me on the mountaintops of victory or the valleys of trials has been to help me say to others, ‘I know what you’re going through—I’ve been there!’ Help me see life as a school of grace equipping me for a ministry of sharing. Thank you, Lord, for what I will learn . . . that will enable me to help someone who will need just what I’ve discovered.”

Those words are true for you and for me, too. So are these next ones:

“The life I touch for good or ill

will touch another life,

and in turn another,

until who knows where the trembling stops

or in what place my touch will be felt.”

Frederick Buechner, The Hungering Dark

Your memoir can communicate God’s grace, hope, peace, and encouragement to others.

So as you step into 2018, renew your sense of ministry. Recognize you’ve received a sacred calling.

If you took a break from writing over the holidays, don't feel guilty! The breather probably was good for you. But now is the time to get back to work!

If you plan to publish your memoir in 2018, 

leave a comment below 

or on the Facebook Page for Spiritual Memoirs 101.

Happy writing!

Who are the strategically placed people in your life?

Think about a person who made a positive impact on your life—a person who changed your life, whose life still ripples through yours today even if you live far apart, even if that person has died:

a soldier,

fireman,

grandparent,

preacher,

teacher,

singer,

supervisor,

janitor,

missionary,

neighbor,

doctor,

store clerk,

professor,

farmer,

policeman,

classmate,

teammate,

college roommate.

Perhaps even a stranger.

Or maybe a person from past generations:

a scientist,

artist,

pioneer,

sailor,

inventor,

explorer,

song writer,

spiritual leader,

writer,

world leader.

What, specifically, did she do that influenced your life?

What words did he say that made all the difference?

What good example did she live which inspired you to live in the same way?

How did his choices give you courage to shape yours?

How different would your life be without that person’s involvement?

Memoirist Kathy Pooler reminded us recently: “Hindsight seems to bring about new clarity and wisdom,” so take time—make time—to seek clarity and wisdom to discern how God has intentionally brought special people into your life.

You might not have recognized, back then, the significance of his or her mark on your life, so dig deep into your memory to detect how God worked through those relationships and experiences to make you who you are today.

Notice the ways God has used those people to protect you, maybe redirect you, and strengthen your faith.

Start writing even before you have remembered everything, before you know where your story is going and how it will end.

Why? Because much more hides within your experience than you realize right now. Writing leads to discovery. Roger Housden says it this way:

“…[A]s much as we think we know about our story,

there is far more waiting to surprise us

when our own words hit the page.”

So, write your stories!

Write them not as a hobby but as a ministry to your family.

Writing your memoir 

is a sacred work, 

a high calling, 

a divine project.

Your kids and grandkids and great-grands need to know about the people who invested in you and guided you—and probably even kept you from doing a few stupid things. Just think: Your stories could have a life-changing impact on your readers, passing the original blessings on to future generations.

“There are generations yet unborn

whose very lives will be shifted and shaped

by the moves you make

and the

actions you take today….”

Andy Andrews

The Butterfly Effect

Trust in circumstances or in God?

Though the fig tree does not bud

 and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to go on the heights.

(Habakkuk 3:17-19, NIV)

“… There’s a great difference between happiness and joy,” writes John Ogilvie.

“Happiness is dependent on having no problems or concerns; joy is having faith in God in spite of anything.

“Habakkuk had been through a profound experience with God. He dared to question honestly what God was doing with His people and why He was allowing the growing strength of the Chaldean enemy. Then the prophet was silent. The Lord gave him the benchmark truth that the just shall live by faith in Him alone. There would be trouble ahead as God judged the apostasy of His people with an enemy invasion, but Habakkuk would trust in Him.

“The prophet of faith heaps up all that will happen and in spite of it all, leaps for joy. Habakkuk shifts his faith from trust in circumstances to trust in God. It is then that he can say the Lord is his strength. His heart not only pirouettes in joy, but is also given strength in weakness, light-footed security like the deer, and elevated vision for the future.” (Lloyd John Ogilvie, Silent Strength for My Life)

Beside this passage in my Bible, I’ve written, “A joyous commitment of faith” and “a song of confident joy.”

Look back on your life. Write a story about a time trouble loomed in a messy situation while God took care of ugliness and ungodliness—a time when, like Habakkuk, you faced it, knowing you could trust God.

How did God teach you the difference between happiness and joy?

Explain how God taught you His “benchmark truth that the just shall live by faith in Him alone.”

Paraphrase Habakkuk 3:17-19 for your own story. Like Habakkuk, heap up all that could have happened. List all the reasons you—or any human—could have despaired, phrase by phrase: “Though the _____ does not  ___ and there are no _______, though the _______ fails and the _____ produce no _______, though there are no ________ and no _______.…"

Then write your own song of confident joy. Declare, “And yet, I chose to rejoice in the Lord and be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord was my strength; he made my feet like the feet of a deer, he enabled me to go on the heights” (Habakkuk 3:17-19, NIV).

Write about trusting not in your circumstances but in God.

Write about discovering, in the words of Ogilvie, the strength God gave in the midst of your weakness, a light-footed security, and an elevated vision for the future.

Write your story. You probably can’t imagine how it will help others.

The other day, Sharon Lippincott wrote of the way our stories spread ripples.

“When I read a story that changed the author’s life,” she writes, “by the time I close the covers, I’ve experienced some changes myself. I learn and grow right along with that author.”

Yes! That’s it! That’s why we write our stories! 

An opportunity for you: Writing Fast, Writing Deep, starting January 9

2012 is The Year of The Memoir! That’s what Linda Joy Myers* and Kathleen Pooler* have proclaimed, and I enthusiastically join their cause.

Let’s make 2012 the year you seriously tackle writing your memoir!

For some of you, “seriously tackling” means just getting started.

For others, “seriously tackling” means finishing your memoir!

Recently Chris Connolly wrote about completing his memoir:

"Finishing my memoir was one of the coolest things I ever did. The day I wrote 'The end' at the end of a book was up there with my wedding and the births of my sons. Seriously. I joke a lot, but that's not a joke. It was the accomplishment of something I'd literally wanted to do since I first started having sentient thoughts....

"I typed 'The end' at the end of an actual book. The second I wrote those words I knew the whole process had been worth it...."*

Picture this: Some day you, too, can type "The end."

With that in mind, here’s a great opportunity for you: Writing Fast, Writing Deep, an online writing class offered by Kendra Bonnett and Matilda Butler from Women’s Memoirs blog.*


Offered through Story Circle Network,* the three-week class starts January 9.


Kendra and Matilda write this about Writing Fast, Writing Deep:


"There are no class times for this learning experience so you can work it into your personal schedule.... Create more memorable characters, capture a fuller range of emotion, make dialogue carry part of your story, write with vivid detail . . . do it all AND do it faster than you ever thought possible. Using our 'Writing Alchemy, Quick Start' method you'll have a strategy that will start you on the path to being the best writer you can be."


January 9 is just a few days away! Sign up today using this link: http://storycircleonlineclasses.or/classes/butler_bonnett.winter2012.php


 

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*Resources and links

Chris Connolly,

http://truestorieswelltold.wordpress.com/2011/11/29/chris-connolly-thoughts-on-completing-my-memoir

Writing Fast, Writing Deep,

http://storycircleonlineclasses.org/classes/butler_bonnett.winter2012.php

Women’s Memoirs,

http://womensmemoirs.com/memoir-writing-news/memoir-class-news-join-us-for-writing-fast-writing-deep

Dr. Linda Joy Myers and National Association of Memoir Writers (NAMW),

http://www.namw.org/tag/year-of-the-memoir

Kathleen Pooler’s blog,

http://networkedblogs.com/s6yZb