“What made me think I could write my story?” How to stay on task

When working on any significant project, often obstacles pull us off track.

In writing your memoir—as a ministry, not a hobby—what derails you? What distractions lure you away?

Lots of things could entice you to say, “I don’t have time to write today. Maybe tomorrow.”

And before you know it, you’re turning the calendar page to a new month. And then to a new year.

And when you think about getting back to writing your memoir, you get discouraged.

You might even ask yourself, “What made me think I could write my story?”  

Sound familiar?

When that happens, we must refocus on the value of our stories. We must believe that our stories have importance.

One of the best motivators for me to write is this: I have learned some of the most important things in my life from other people’s stories. From them, I have learned about courage, hope, direction, healing, integrity, faith, wisdom, and understanding.

How crippled and lost I would be without those stories ministering to me. Like Proverbs 13:14a says, 

“The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life. . . .”

The blessings I’ve received from other people’s stories inspire me to pass on my stories to others.

Another motivation for me is this: God tells us to share our stories with others, starting with our children and grandchildren and spreading outward from there. 

If you’ve been with SM 101 for a while, you’re well-acquainted with Deuteronomy 4:9 which tells us to always remember what we’ve seen God do and to be sure to tell our kids and grandkids.

And in Luke 8:39, Jesus said, “Go tell your family everything God has done for you.”

When you finish writing your memoir and hand it to your kids, grandkids and great-grands, this is, in effect, what you’ll be saying to them:

“Come, children, listen to me.

Let me teach you how to honor the Lord”

(Psalm 34:11, CEB).

And remember this: We don’t write our stories because we are so great and amazing—it’s all about how great and amazing God is!

Bottom line: You will face obstacles—other activities will look soooo fun, you’ll have good tasks that you’ll need to do and out-of-town guests to entertain. You’ll get sick. Interruptions will arise, but don’t let them throw you off track for long!

Ask God for help. Pray for wisdom to refocus and discipline to reprioritize so you can keep on task and fulfill this responsibility He has given to you.

Pray Moses’s words, that your stories might bring refreshing, nourishing blessings to your readers:

“Let my teaching fall like rain

and my words descend as dew,

like showers on new grass,

like abundant rain on tender plants”

(Deuteronomy 32:2).

And you can pray Lloyd Ogilvie’s words:

“Gracious Father . . .

I never cease to be astonished

that You have chosen to do Your work through me.

Remind me throughout this day

to yield myself in prayer

so that my mind is directed by Your guidance. . . .

I say with the psalmist,

‘. . . for Your name’s sake, lead me and guide me’

(Psalm 31:3).”

(Lloyd John Ogilvie, Quiet Moments with God)

“Hope is the answer” and you’re cleared to go

“During my intense grieving moments,” writes Dana Goodman, “other people’s stories gave me words to describe the ache that was indescribable. They gave me hope that a new day would dawn, and I would not be stuck in the black forever.”

Hope.

“Sharing hope truly is the heart of this writing business,” writes Mick Silva. “Words are like packaging. They’re pretty or flashy or sad or boring. And while everyone appreciates good packaging, ultimately it’s the hope inside them that matters…. We each have to ask…whether we want to share hope or not.”

Read that again. “We each have to ask…whether we want to share hope or not.” That zings, doesn’t it?

The Bible tells us to comfort others

with the comfort we’ve received from God.

(2 Corinthians 1:4)

Your memoir can do that.

That means writing your memoir is not a hobby, it’s a ministry.

Eugene Peterson suggests the church should ordain writers in the way they ordain pastors.

“There are never enough storytellers,” he says. “There are a lot of people who want to write stories but they don’t want to go through the discipline, the agony, the immersion in life it requires…. I think writing is one of the sacred callings. I wish, in fact, that the church would ordain writers the way they ordain pastors….”

Is that a new thought to you?

If so, make time to ask yourself these questions:

How different would your writing be if you viewed yourself as ordained to tell your story?

Can you—will you—consider yourself ordained to tell your story?

Let’s take a minute to ponder: What does it mean to be ordained?

It means to be approved, authorized, appointed, anointed, selected, and chosen.

It means to be commissioned, empowered, assigned, entrusted, and consecrated. And cleared to go.

Last Thursday I asked, “If your scars could talk, what stories would they tell?”

Have you thought about that question in the past few days?

Maybe something or someone maimed you, left you blemished, flawed, maybe even deformed—maybe in little ways, maybe in massive ways. Perhaps they left you broken, immobilized. Some scars are visible, some are hidden inside.

But remember: A scar is evidence of healing.

How did God transform your wounds into scars?

Who and what did God use to bring healing?

As a result of your experience, what hope can you pass on to others?

Are you now super-inspired to write your story? Please say Yes!

Believe God has

approved, authorized, appointed you.

He has anointed, selected, and chosen you.

Believe God has

commissioned, empowered, assigned you.

He has entrusted, and consecrated you

to carry out our key verses:

Always remember, and never forget,

what you’ve seen God do for you,

and be sure to tell your children and grandchildren.

Deuteronomy 4:9

Jesus said, “Go tell your family everything

God has done for you.”

Luke 8:39

Like Kellie McGann said, “Hope is the answer your readers are searching for…. Tell them they’re not alone in their dark night of the soul.”

“…Writing your story is the only way

to truly express what God did.

And you can’t believe just how remarkable he is

until you step back and see it for yourself.”

Mick Silva, Higher Purpose Writers

Your story can change a life.

Someone needs the hope you can offer.

So hear this:

You know what you’ve been commissioned to do,

and you—you—are cleared to go.

Will you publish your memoir in 2018?

You might have set aside your writing over the holidays—I did. And I didn’t feel guilty about it.

Why? Because sometimes taking a break is exactly what we need to refresh, revitalize, and invigorate ourselves for the writing tasks ahead.

We just can’t let our breaks linger too long.

Determine in 2018 to make significant progress on your writing project. I’m guessing quite a few of you will publish your memoir in 2018!

Remember: Writing your memoir is not a hobby—it’s a ministry.

Your story is not your own.

It has been entrusted to you by God

for something bigger than you might realize right now.

In his devotional, Quiet Moments with God, Lloyd Ogilvie prays for God to help him be a communicator of His grace to others. He continues praying:

“All You have taught me on the mountaintops of victory or the valleys of trials has been to help me say to others, ‘I know what you’re going through—I’ve been there!’ Help me see life as a school of grace equipping me for a ministry of sharing. Thank you, Lord, for what I will learn . . . that will enable me to help someone who will need just what I’ve discovered.”

Those words are true for you and for me, too. So are these next ones:

“The life I touch for good or ill

will touch another life,

and in turn another,

until who knows where the trembling stops

or in what place my touch will be felt.”

Frederick Buechner, The Hungering Dark

Your memoir can communicate God’s grace, hope, peace, and encouragement to others.

So as you step into 2018, renew your sense of ministry. Recognize you’ve received a sacred calling.

If you took a break from writing over the holidays, don't feel guilty! The breather probably was good for you. But now is the time to get back to work!

If you plan to publish your memoir in 2018, 

leave a comment below 

or on the Facebook Page for Spiritual Memoirs 101.

Happy writing!

Thanksgiving memories: Who spurred you on?

Thanksgiving is a time to remember those who have encouraged you, believed in you, and spurred you on.

It’s a time to recognize people who trained you, challenged you, and influenced the direction of your life.

At this Thanksgiving time, think back: Who taught you about integrity and hard work and self-discipline?

Who inspired you spiritually and modeled what genuine faith looks like?

Who helped you find your way through the dark—took you by the hand, kept you moving forward, step by step, toward the light?

Who inspired you to become the very best you, to become all God intended for you to be?

Look back over the years

and recognize that

God Himself placed those people in your life.

When they touched you,

they were reaching out in God’s name,

extending His hand,

smiling His smile,

speaking His words of hope and peace.

That’s one of the ways that He,

in His unfailing love,

leads His own.

(Exodus 15:13)

Who comes to mind when you read these words?

You have stories about those key people in your life,

and only you can write them.

Those stories are important.

Someone else needs to read those stories.

Through them,

God can use you to touch others,

to reach out in His name,

extend His hand,

smile His smile,

speak His words of hope and peace.

That’s one of the ways that He,

in His unfailing love,

leads His own.

(Exodus 15:13)

Connect your story with God’s story—

not as a hobby,

but as a ministry.

Before it’s too late!

Who can look into the future to know what will arise? 

In my July 27 post, I told you I was taking a break for family matters—but I didn’t anticipate being away for three weeks! 

Neither could I imagine what would happen to my heart.

My husband and I spent time with a parent nearing death. A few days ago, we said goodbye, celebrated his life, and comforted loved ones left behind.

Another precious relative, after enduring way too many tragedies in the past few months, ended up in the ER.

Three days ago, a special uncle died.

And we also continue to watch another dear one who has only days—or maybe hours—to live.

I’ve been experiencing some hiraeth moments, especially after my uncle’s death.

Do you remember my posts about hiraeth? Pronounced HEER-eyeth (roll the r), it’s a Welsh concept which, according to the University of Wales, can include “a mix of longing, yearning, nostalgia, wistfulness….”

It has to do with a strong attachment to a homelike place and a hankering to return to it. That’s what I’ve been experiencing—a longing to return to the halcyon years I spent with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Love, joy, kindness, and fun filled those times. And total acceptance. And safety. That’s why something in me longs to return to those people and those days.

Hiraeth:

It calls our names: we recognize the voice,

and it tells us that place is where we belong,

that place, where our roots go down deeper than our roots.

That is our home of homes.

But I digress. Anyway, now you know why I’ve been away from SM 101.

And little did I know how relevant that July 27 post would be—the last post before my break. Do you remember it? I encouraged you to write the important stuff before it’s too late.

I asked:

What wisdom can you impart to your kids and grandkids before you die?

What balance? What perspective?

What reassurance?

What can you demystify for them?

And I suggested you include those accounts in your memoir. (Click here to read Write the important stuff before it’s too late.)

With these recent reminders of life’s fragility, I’m even more convinced we need to be intentional about writing our stories—for the benefit of those who come after us. Not because you and I are so great, but because God is so great.   

“The greatness of old age is that it has wisdom, which is . . . important for young people. A young person who is about to face life has thousands of problems, but an old man can demystify many of those problems.” (Father Aldo Trento, quoted in Why Grandparents Matter)

My experience with loved ones these three weeks reminds me:

Life is short.

You don’t know how much longer you’ll have good enough health—

or even life—

to put your important stories into writing.

Don’t put it off!

Related link: Hiraeth: You’ve probably experienced it

Summertime and the important stuff

Summertime. Family time. Important stuff. So...

So, I'm taking a brief break to hang out with the family. But first...

I want to inspire you with this post, Write the important stuff before it's too late, in which I ask:

What wisdom can you share with your kids,

grandkids, and great-grands

before you die?

What balance? What perspective?

What reassurance?

What can you demystify for them?

Include those accounts in your memoir.

Click here to read the rest of the post,

Write the important stuff before it's too late.

Don't miss it! You'll find inspiration!

Tuesday Tidbit: “Minister to others with the same wound”

Related posts:

Writing your untold stories

"Marked by inner scars, yet also empowered by your experiences"

Share what you discovered in the dark

Do you think of yourself as an ordained writer?

You’re writing a memoir. Is it a hobby? A pastime? Something you do in your leisure time?

If so, I encourage you to view your writing as a ministry. A sacred project. A high and holy calling.

Eugene Peterson suggests that the church should ordain writers in the way they ordain pastors. 

“There are never enough storytellers,” he says. “There are a lot of people who want to write stories but they don’t want to go through the discipline, the agony, the immersion in life it requires…. I think writing is one of the sacred callings. I wish, in fact, that the church would ordain writers the way they ordain pastors….”

 Is that a new thought to you?

If so, make time to answer this question:

How different would your writing be

if you saw yourself as ordained to tell your story?

Can you—will you—consider yourself

ordained to tell your story?

Will you believe you have a sacred, holy calling

to write your story?

I hope so.

We writers, like pastors, need God’s help to carry out our jobs.

We need His help to improve our skills—through classes, workshops, conferences, critique groups, and books and blogs by pros.

We need His help to be disciplined, committed, persevering writers.

We need His help to finish our manuscripts and publish them.

And to do all that, we need His encouragement, so here are verses to cheer you on:

• Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. (Galatians 6:4, The Message)
• See to it that you complete the work you have received in the Lord. (Colossians 4:17)
• I want to suggest that you finish what you started to do…. Let your enthusiastic idea at the start be equaled by your realistic action now. (2 Corinthians 8:10-11, The Living Bible)

I pray you'll hear God’s voice while he helps you "remember the wonders he has done" (1 Chronicles 16:12), those important things he wants you to tell others. I also pray you’ll find the time necessary to write.

Remember, what you write on any given day does not need to be perfect. Just get it in writing, and edit and polish it later. When your story is the best you can make it, be sure to give it away!

Take in Casey Herringshaw’s words:

“We become obsessed with our words. We become caught up in the euphoric high of stringing 90,000 words together into a manuscript. And we forget the Orator of these words. Whether you are writing fiction or nonfiction, these are not your words. This is not just your passion…. Do you take time to hit your knees before you write? Because this isn’t about you and what you can do. It’s about what God can do through you as His vessel. Do you dedicate your writing time—no matter how small or large that might be—to your Creator? Without Him, there would be no you. No you to write these words and stories only you can write….” (emphasis mine)

Pray! And write!

Does your memoir capture God in your everydayness?

Jesus said, “Go tell your family everything God has done for you” (Luke 8:39). That’s what writing a memoir is about!

That doesn’t mean you have to write about only God. That doesn’t mean you must write His name on every page, or even in every chapter.

But your job as a memoirist is, first, to recognize and know that God was involved in all you experienced and, second, to  explain that to your readers, especially in the end, in your grand finale.

But, you might be saying, I’ve lived such a mundane life—just a normal, commonplace life. Nothing noteworthy has happened to me or my family.

If that’s the way you see your life, wait! Ponder Heschel’s words in I Asked For Wonder:

And isn’t Heschel correct? The Bible is full of stories

about God’s involvement in everyday trivialities.

And God has been involved in your ordinary, unremarkable days. 

Don’t doubt it!

Think about young David,

year after year herding his sheep,

living a quiet, apparently insignificant life.

Yet God joined with him there

and taught him

and prepared him for his future

and inspired him to write those precious Psalms.

(How much poorer our lives would be

without those shepherd-boy’s writings!)

Your job is to peel back layers and dig for those gems—God-things that were happening, which perhaps you didn’t recognize at the time—and when you discover them, you will be full of wonder!

So, write your stories. They are important—if they weren’t, we wouldn’t find instructions in both Old and New Testaments to tell our children and grandchildren what we’ve seen God do for us. Writing your memoir is not a hobby—it’s a ministry!

Keep plugging away. Eventually you’ll finish your collection of vignettes and you can publish your memoir. When you do, you’ll have done what Jesus said—you’ll have told your family what God has done for you and for them.

When you do that, be sure to let us know here at SM 101. 

(On Tuesday, Linda Moore Kurth left a comment 

on her almost-complete memoir. 

Congratulations, Linda! 

How about the rest of you? 

How much of your memoir have you finished? 

We'd love to hear from you!)

What is the point of writing about the hardships of life?

“A recent blog on Spiritual Memoirs 101 dealt with the topic of writing through pain. I’m confident every reader snapped to full attention because each one of us could write volumes on pain, heartache and tribulation. Such is the path through a fallen world,” writes Catherine P. Downing, author of her new memoir, Sparks of Redemptive Grace.

Since we received several poignant responses

 from readers about that post, 

I invited Catherine to write a guest post 

for you today.  She continues:

In April I published my first book. It is indeed a spiritual memoir on suffering but, thankfully, it was crafted under the influence of the Holy Spirit and, unbeknownst to me as I wrote it, followed many of the principles Linda mentions in Spiritual Memoirs 101.

I get a sense of how relevant and meaningful my book is to readers by the growing number of people writing reviews. Their words cluster around three basic themes.

First, reviewers make note of the pain through words/phrases like “dark places,” “shattered dreams,” “heartache” and “grieving.”

Secondly, they express appreciation for the honesty: “transparent,” “intimate,” realistic” and “candor.”

The third theme I read in the reviews is one of hope—which is one of two objectives I had in writing the book. My purposes were: 1) to give hope and strengthen the faith of others walking a similar path, as well as 2) to help family and friends around them understand their struggles. 

Reviews like the following give me a glimpse of the hope and help people are finding as they read it: 

• “I was richly, deeply blessed and inspired by this book. But not inspired to smile and pour another cup of coffee. Inspired to love with greater fervor, to pray for eyes that see more clearly, and then to do something with what I see, because there are needs everywhere, there's brokenness everywhere.” –Amazon  
• “I read a lot of devotional books and commentaries on the Scriptures. I can't remember when an author has sorted out an issue or topic for me more powerfully than this one.” –Amazon
• “This little gem of a book has encouraged me to stop looking for the way OUT of difficult situations, and to look, instead, for the treasures waiting to be mined in the darkness.” –Amazon
• “In these few pages, Downing beautifully intertwines information with inspiration, and insight with encouragement, leaving the reader with a gut-wrenching hope and a hunger to know the God she does.” –Advanced Praise

How was the book able to capture the pain through the lens of transparency and hope? I don't have a formula, but here are some things that seemed to help. 

• It was written under a pseudonym. This was done to give a layer of privacy to our family, which in turn gave me courage to be vulnerable.
• Each chapter follows the same pattern: quote, narrative, scripture, prayer. This set a cadence to the reading.
• Each chapter is short, and I limited the number of chapters. This gives the reader space to breathe amid the heaviness. As one reviewer wrote in her advanced praise: “It only takes an hour to read ... but don’t rush it. Savor it. Meditate on it. Pray through it. And then share it with others.”
• Each chapter ends with a carefully penned prayer, which serves as a summary of the chapter. These highlight my recognition of my own limitations and confidence in our always-faithful God. People tell me the prayers are their favorite part. One reviewer mentioned on Amazon, "The prayers written at the end of each chapter are so well crafted that I will be using them to enhance my own prayer life and I will quote from them as I lead devotions on the related passages." 
• I was able to write this book at this stage of my life, and not earlier, because I have learned to be deliberate to tend to my own wounds. Though the painful life circumstances are current and real, I maintain an emotional, spiritual and mental regimen that enables me to reflect on our journey from a posture of health and hope, and not oozing from open sores.

The Spiritual Memoirs 101 blog points out that writing about our pain points can be cathartic. Readers likewise assume that writing the book was helpful to me in the healing process. For me the writing really didn't have that function. Our journey has been long and I've lamented the hardships and sorrows as they've happened; so for me there wasn't a bottled-up ocean of pain looking for a rocky shore where the waves could break. Instead it was more like cooking a Thanksgiving meal that was being prepared for the desperately hungry and offered as a ministry. 

In writing the book, my hope was that it would help others navigate through their own pain and show them how to build a lifeboat to carry them to a harbor of hope. Guiding thoughts were: 

How can I recount the moments 

when God's redemptive grace 

broke through the darkness 

so that in their own despair 

readers can see sparks of light? 

How might God bless and break 

the bread of our story 

to distribute it as nourishment 

to those who have lost sight 

of the Father's presence? 

In the end, I believe 

this is the point of writing 

about the hardships of life:

that while the story is about us, 

it is really about the readers; 

and while the focus is on our pain, 

it is really about the Healer. 

I'll close with this warning from the last chapter of my little book. I think it captures the biggest challenge in writing about our sufferings:

There is a cliff I walk along while trying to stay well away from the edge, and in writing these pages I have been very aware of its nearness. I have tried to stay on the narrow path between detached realism and narcissistic drama, for I know well that self-pity is a dangerous precipice and those who fall in often do not come back up.

As you consider being transparent about your experiences in your spiritual memoirs, may the One who turned water into wine take your pain and transform it into a balm to soothe others."


Catherine P. Downing
www.sparksofredemptivegrace.com
https://www.facebook.com/sparksofredemptivegrace
https://www.amazon.com/Sparks-Redemptive-Grace-Seeking-Illness/dp/057817717X


If you missed the recent blog post Catherine mentions, click on Writing yourself to the other side of pain.