Back to basics: Your memoir’s ending, Part 2

Sunday at church, a lady came up to me and gushed, “I just read the end of your memoir!”

She wore an enormous smile but had no words beyond those eight—she was speechless. But she waved her hands and gestured with her arms and let out a few sighs, and her non-stop smile continued to light up her face.

As you might imagine, her words pleased me.

But that’s not my point. 

My point is this: The ending of Please, God, Don’t Make Me Go: A Foot-Dragger’s Memoir resonated with her. It must have made sense to her. It left her feeling the way she did.

Your job as a memoirist is to set aside plenty of time to craft your memoir’s ending. You want it to end on a high note so readers will long remember it.

How do you do that?

Ask yourself, “I had a reason to start writing this memoir. What was it?”

If you pinpoint your reason to begin writing your story, you’ll have a better idea of how you want it to end.

Ask yourself:

• In what ways am I a different person because of what I experienced in my story? (Click on What is a memoir: Back to basics)
• What principles do I want my story to illustrate?
• What attributes of God do I want to shine in my story?
• What Bible verses or passages capture the point of my memoir?
• What lessons do I want readers to apply to their own lives?
• What change do I hope to see in my readers because of my story?

You might get out a sheet of paper and divide it into two columns. In the left one write, “The reason I’m writing my memoir is _________” and fill in the blank. 

In the right column, write, “The message I want readers to take away from my memoir is _________” and fill in the blank—realizing you won’t likely know the final version of your ending until you’ve written all your chapters.

That’s because, within the process of writing, our stories often take us directions we didn’t anticipate.

And that’s because the process of writing can open our eyes to things we overlooked before.

That, in turn, can change the end of our story. (Click on last week’s post, Back to basics: Your memoir’s Grand Finale, Part 1.)

You might not know the heart and soul and best ending until you’ve finished your first draft and have made time to mull it over—and that could take weeks, or months, or even years.

But that’s okay. As you keep writing, these will become more evident.

When you’ve finished and polished 

the main body of your memoir, 

finalize your Grand Finale 

so readers will resonate 

with your memoir’s significance.

The beauty of your memoir will shine brightest

in its carefully crafted ending.

“Make sure no loose ends hang from the story

that leave people wondering.

They will feel the story isn’t over. . . .”

You want readers to feel the story is over, to feel that:

“The story has been told, the tension resolved,

the consequences shown. . . .”

(Craig Brian Larson, “How to Tell A Moving Story”)

from The Art and Craft of Biblical Preaching)

Leave your readers satisfied. 

Leave them celebrating 

all God has done in your life. 

Leave them thankful and changed 

because they read your memoir.

Back to basics: Your memoir’s Grand Finale, Part 1

While you’re writing your memoir, keep in mind where you’re heading: Build toward your ending.

Your ending is the most important part of your book 

for both you and your readers.

For that reason, never, never, never settle for this trite, anemic conclusion: “And they lived happily ever after.”

For the benefit of (a) yourself and (b) your readers, pin down the heart and soul of your story.

But consider this: Most of us don’t know precisely how our memoirs will end because, within the process of writing, our stories often take us directions we didn’t anticipate.

That process of writing can open our eyes to things we overlooked before and that, in turn, can change the end of our story.

You might not know the heart and soul and best ending until you’ve finished your first draft and have made time to mull it over—and that could take weeks, or months, or even years.

But that’s okay. As you keep writing, these will become more evident.

The beauty of memoir is that you write much more than just events and details. You uncover a story larger than the one on the surface.

You excavate a story deeper and higher and wider than the immediate one.

Dig it out in pieces if you must—but dig it out.

Here’s the key: You must make time, must be deliberate in reflecting, pondering, digging. Discover new insights and patterns and connections that significantly impacted your experience and your life.

Use your Grand Finale to highlight your story’s most important points, those messages you want your readers to treasure and incorporate into their own lives.

Keep this in mind:

The beauty of your memoir

will shine brightest in its conclusion.

Come back next week

for additional inspiration

in crafting your memoir’s ending.

Does your memoir capture God in your everydayness?

Jesus said, “Go tell your family everything God has done for you” (Luke 8:39). That’s what writing a memoir is about!

That doesn’t mean you have to write about only God. That doesn’t mean you must write His name on every page, or even in every chapter.

But your job as a memoirist is, first, to recognize and know that God was involved in all you experienced and, second, to  explain that to your readers, especially in the end, in your grand finale.

But, you might be saying, I’ve lived such a mundane life—just a normal, commonplace life. Nothing noteworthy has happened to me or my family.

If that’s the way you see your life, wait! Ponder Heschel’s words in I Asked For Wonder:

And isn’t Heschel correct? The Bible is full of stories

about God’s involvement in everyday trivialities.

And God has been involved in your ordinary, unremarkable days. 

Don’t doubt it!

Think about young David,

year after year herding his sheep,

living a quiet, apparently insignificant life.

Yet God joined with him there

and taught him

and prepared him for his future

and inspired him to write those precious Psalms.

(How much poorer our lives would be

without those shepherd-boy’s writings!)

Your job is to peel back layers and dig for those gems—God-things that were happening, which perhaps you didn’t recognize at the time—and when you discover them, you will be full of wonder!

So, write your stories. They are important—if they weren’t, we wouldn’t find instructions in both Old and New Testaments to tell our children and grandchildren what we’ve seen God do for us. Writing your memoir is not a hobby—it’s a ministry!

Keep plugging away. Eventually you’ll finish your collection of vignettes and you can publish your memoir. When you do, you’ll have done what Jesus said—you’ll have told your family what God has done for you and for them.

When you do that, be sure to let us know here at SM 101. 

(On Tuesday, Linda Moore Kurth left a comment 

on her almost-complete memoir. 

Congratulations, Linda! 

How about the rest of you? 

How much of your memoir have you finished? 

We'd love to hear from you!)

For your memoir’s grand finale: Psalm 136

Recently we’ve been considering your memoir’s ending. You want, and need, to create a grand finale—an ending that will impact your readers. (Click on Do you know how your memoir will end? and Give muscle to your memoir’s ending.)

Your grand finale gives you an opportunity—a chance to highlight your moist important points, those messages you want your readers to remember and apply to their own lives.

Most of us here at SM 101 write our memoirs because of verses like Deuteronomy 4:9 which tells us:

Always remember what you’ve seen God do for you

and be sure to tell your children and grandchildren!

(That doesn’t mean you must mention God in every incident/chapter/vignette, but you, the author, will pull everything together, recognizing God was always with you and acting on your behalf even if you didn’t recognize Him at the time.)

Craft a grand finale that celebrates God in a personal way.

One of the easiest, most powerful ways to craft a grand finale is the following fill-in-the-blank exercise using Psalm 136, a magnificent song of praise to God—a celebration of God.

You’ll customize your own version of Psalm 136 starting in verse ten, but first let’s look at verses one through nine. Praise focuses on God the Creator of all: He is good and His love endures forever. He made the heavens, spread out the earth upon the waters, and made the sun, moon, and stars.

I suggest you include those first nine verses, as-is, in your grand finale, then starting with verse ten, you can tailor-make the rest of the psalm for your memoir.

Here’s what I mean.

Starting with verse ten, praise focuses on God who is personally involved with His children—their families, their daily comings and goings, and the span and purposes of their lives.

For example, those next few verses praise God for bringing Israel out of Egypt and recount the additional ways God showed His love and faithfulness to His people, Israel.

Your customized version of Psalm 136 could look something like this (and you will fill in the blanks, listing the ways God guided your family):

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.

            His love endures forever.

Give thanks to the God of gods.

            His love endures forever.

Give thanks to the Lord of lords:

            His love endures forever.

to Him who alone does great wonders,

            His love endures forever.

who by His understanding made the heavens,

            His love endures forever.

who spread out the earth upon the waters,

            His love endures forever.

who made the great lights—

            His love endures forever.

the  sun to govern the day,

            His love endures forever.

the moon and stars to govern the night;

            His love endures forever.

_______________________________

His love endures forever.

_______________________________

His love endures forever.

_______________________________

His love endures forever.

…and so on. (Psalm 136, NIV)

Starting with verse ten, you might want to go back several generations, especially if, for example, your family survived the Holocaust, or the infamous Clearances in Scotland, the potato famine in Ireland, a war, or the Great Depression, or some other challenge. Or maybe you know (or can research) stories of your family as pioneers or immigrants.

Add as many lines as you wish. Probably the more the better!

Your grand finale will likely consist of

more than a paraphrase of Psalm 136,

but including it can help your kids, grandkids,

and other family members

recognize they are part of God’s family,

part of something much bigger than themselves and their generation.

Make your grand finale a celebration of God!

Give muscle to your memoir's ending

Your memoir's ending needs to have muscle. Impact. That's the "A-ha!" part.

How will you conclude your memoir? What will your ending be?

Grasp at least a general idea of your ending while you're writing your rough draft so you can aim for a specific conclusion. (If you missed last Thursday's blog post, click here.)

Write an ending "elegantly crafted that does not end with 'and as you can see, "all things work together for the good."'" (Cindy Blomquist, Women of the Harvest)

Keep in mind the definition of a spiritual memoir:

• Writing a memoir involves pondering, unraveling, examining, reflecting.
• Looking back, what did you learn from your experience?
• What did you learn about yourself?
• After connecting the dots, what patterns (repetitions) did you discover in your thinking, relationships, and faith that you hadn't noticed before?
• What new person did you become? 
• As you see it now, what did you learn about God?
• In retrospect, what do you now see that God was doing?
• What deeper lessons did God have for you in the experience(s)?
• Do you now have a better understanding of God's purpose for your life?
• How was your faith strengthened for the future?
• Include Bible verses that illustrate and validate your experience/life.

Sum up principles you've learned.

Keep in mind that

people long to discover universal truths,

transforming truths,

spiritual truths,

underlying truths,

relevant truths.

Your readers long to discover them

in your life's stories

so they can apply them to their own lives.

Your goal is to write a compelling, satisfying end that gives readers hope, courage, faith, tenacity, and inspiration for living.

In your ending, tell your readers:

• This is how far I came,
• this is how I got there,
• this is how I overcame obstacles.
• I am now a new person.
• This is the most important lesson I want to leave with you.

Phrases you might include:

• I didn't recognize it at the time, but...
• Though I didn't understand it forty years ago, now I see that...
• Neither I nor they understood why it was happening, but... 
• It occurs to me now that...
• It took me many years to realize that...
• Over the years I've come to accept...
• Years later I discovered....

How do you want readers to feel when they finish reading your memoir?

How do you want them to think as a result of reading your memoir?

What do you want them to do, how do you want them to live, because they read your memoir?

Write your memoir not because you're so great,

but because of who God is.

Do you know how your memoir will end? (Part one)

While you write your memoir, keep in mind where you’re heading: Build toward your ending.

But wait! Do you know how your memoir will end?

I beg of you, don’t settle for an anemic, trite “And they lived happily ever after.”

The beauty of memoir is that we write much more than just events and details. We uncover a story larger than the story on the surface.

We excavate a story deeper and higher and wider than the immediate story.

We dig it out—in pieces if we must—but we dig it out.

Dig until you find your gems, the gold, the silver.

That takes time and commitment and tenacity.

Don’t give up!

(Take a minute to read Dig it out, in pieces if you must.)

You have probably already written some of your stories/vignettes—that’s the easy part!—stories like:

• How did you rise above obstacles?
• Who did God use to show you what grace looks like?
• What did God do to heal emotional scars?
• Who did He bring into your life to turn you in the right direction?
• What unexpected opportunities did God offer you?
• What was the saddest day of your life?
• What was the happiest day of your life?
• What was the scariest thing you’ve ever had to do?
• What was the bravest thing you’ve ever done?
• What event or person helped you take off blinders and see yourself in a new and better way?
• Who/what opened your mind and heart to new worlds (emotional, spiritual, mental, physical)?
• Who showed you what forgiveness looks like?
• Who took a risk and trusted you?
• Who did God send to demonstrate how to parent your kids?
• Who gave you a second chance?
• Who did God send to help you believe in Him? Trust Him? Enjoy Him?

Set aside time to ponder and examine and pray about what God wants you to discover deep down in your life’s events.  Uncover the story that’s deeper and higher and wider than the surface story. Give yourself all the time you need.

As you aim toward your memoir’s ending, ask yourself: What principles, what life lessons do your stories illustrate?

What universal truths—or themes—come to light in your stories?

• Do your stories illustrate the importance of honesty, integrity, grace?
• Faithfulness to God and marriage?
• Helping the poor and sick?
• Choosing courage over fear?
• Resilience instead of giving up?
• Forgiveness instead of bitterness?
• Mercy instead of revenge?
• ...and so on.

What attributes of God shine from your stories? For example:

• His patience,
• forgiveness,
• unconditional love,
• omnipotence,
• wisdom,
• gentleness,
• faithfulness,
• holiness,
• and so on.

What Bible verse or phrase captures the point of your memoir? Here are a few suggestions:

• …a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair (Isaiah 61:3, NIV)
• His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9)  
• Joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5)
• When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. (Isaiah 43:2, LB)
• The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercy never comes to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV)
• My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart. (Psalm 73:26, NIV)

Is there a quotation that embraces your memoir’s overall message? Here are a few suggestions:

• “Never believe that so-called random events of life are anything less than God’s appointed order. Be ready to discover His divine designs anywhere and everywhere.” C. S. Lewis
• “It is often in our darkest hour that the light of God’s presence shines the brightest.” Stacy L. Sanchez
• “The very circumstances which were meant to break Joseph’s faith in [God’s] promises were actually the events setting up their fulfillment.” David Ramos
• “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” C.S. Lewis
• “Believe me, the reward is not so great without the struggle.” Wilma Rudolph at God-sized Dreams 

 People long to discover universal truths, 

transforming truths, 

spiritual truths, 

underlying truths, 

relevant truths. 

Your readers long 

to discover them in your life’s stories 

so they can apply them to their own lives.

Once you can pinpoint them, you’ll have at least a vague idea of where you’re heading with your memoir—how you want to conclude it.

For now, get started on the above. 

Next Thursday, 

come back for 

Do you know how your memoir will end? (Part two).

Your memoir’s Grand Finale, part 3

Your Grand Finale, part 1

Your Grand Finale, part 2

For the past week, we’ve focused on writing a rough draft of your memoir’s Grand Finale—even if you’re still working on the main body of your memoir.

If you missed comments left by Sherrey Meyer this past week, let me tell you what she shared: She has already crafted her finale (while she’s writing her memoir) and it’s based on 2 Corinthians 12:9 in which the Lord tells Paul, “My grace is sufficient.”

Sherrey writes: “At the end of my mother’s life what has given me immeasurable peace was the manner in which God had healed us both with His grace, His sufficiency.” (Check out Sherrey’s two blogs: Letters to Mama, and Sowing Seeds of Grace.)

Sherrey knows where she’s going because she has pinned down her ultimate message. Because she has drafted a Grand Finale, she knows her target and she’s aiming at it with each vignette she writes. (And what a grand message Sherrey has for her readers! She’s writing a celebration of God and His grace—I can hardly wait to read it!)

Do what Sherrey did and write a rough draft of your Grand Finale (rough draft because stories can take a direction you might not have envisioned at the outset. Don’t worry if, after you’ve completed the main body of your stories, your memoir’s overall message ends up slightly different from your original plan. It’s better to focus on where you think you’ll end up, rather than drift, directionless.)

Drafting a Grand Finale helps you focus on your overall goal in writing this particular memoir. It helps you stay on message and bring everything full circle.

And then, when you’ve finished the main body of your memoir, tweak and polish and finalize your Grand Finale so readers will resonate with your memoir’s significance.

“Make sure no loose ends hang from the story

that leave people wondering.

They will feel the story isn’t over.…”

You want readers to feel the story is over, to feel that:

 “The story has been told, the tension resolved,

the consequences shown.

End the story with one strong sentence

that has a feeling of finality.…”

(Craig Brian Larson, “How to Tell a Moving Story,” from The Art and Craft of Biblical Preaching, Haddon Robinson and Craig Brian Larson, General Editors)

Strive to leave your readers satisfied.

Strive to leave your readers celebrating God!

Your memoir’s Grand Finale, part 2

Saturday we began considering your memoir’s ending—your Grand Finale.

You might be saying, “But I haven’t finished writing my vignettes yet!” Let me explain:

1) Write a rough draft of your conclusion, subject to revisions, and

2) It might seem strange to work on your ending before you’ve finished the main body of your memoir—your vignettes, your stories, your chapters—but think of this:

“If you don’t know where you’re going, you might not get there.”

Yogi Berra

In other words, plan ahead. Know where you’re going with your memoir, and aim for that. Plan ahead for your memoir to end on a high note so your readers will long remember it.

How do you do that?

Well, you had a reason to start writing your memoir. What was it?

For me, it was stumbling upon Deuteronomy 4:9, “Always remember what you’ve seen God do for you, and be sure to tell your children and grandchildren!”

If you can pinpoint your reason to begin writing your memoir, you’ll have a better idea of how you want it to end.

You might want to get out a couple of sticky notes. On the first one write, “The reason I’m writing my memoir is________________” and fill in the blank.

On the second, write, “The message I want my readers to take away from my memoir is _______________” and fill in the blank, keeping in mind you probably won’t know the final version of your ending until you’ve written all your chapters and have taken time to dig deeply and discover all the gems hidden within—a crucial part of memoir.

“… The last impression

is what people remember.

Begin well, with attack and accuracy.

Drive it through.

But, whatever else,

make the end the best.

Know exactly what you are aiming for

and finish with a bang.” 

Alma Gluck

C’mon back on Saturday when we’ll examine additional considerations for your memoir’s Grand Finale.