Beyond entertainment: Challenge your readers to “do a doggie head-tilt”

 

You want to change your readers, not just entertain them.

 

Be sure at least some of your memoir’s stories challenge your readers to think.

 

Make them question.

 

Motivate them to stretch and wrestle with issues.

 

Move them to examine their assumptions and expectations to see if they’re valid.

 

Challenge your readers to do what Mike Metzger calls “a doggie head-tilt.” To look at things differently than before. Mike says, “If your head never tilts, your mind never changes.”

 

Persuade readers to tilt their heads and look at issues from another angle. To rethink what they believe. To reevaluate—and to maybe arrive at a different conclusion than they ever have before.

 

Open their minds to other possibilities, other interpretations, or other meanings.

 

Write stories that will give readers

a holy discontent with things that are not right in their lives—

not to make them wallow in guilt,

but to offer them God-pleasing options.

James 4:8-10 comes to mind:

“Come close to God, and God will come close to you. . . .

Purify your hearts,

for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. . . .

Humble yourselves before the Lord,

and He will lift you up in honor.”

Also, see John 14:27.

 

Write stories that will give readers

a holy discontent with the ways of the world—

materialism: possessions and trinkets,

meaningless mindsets and pursuits—and instead

inspire them to live lives of God-centered

substance and purpose.

Elaborate on what Jesus meant when he said,

“You do not belong to the world,

but I have chosen you out of the world” (John 15:19).

Also, see Romans 12:2.

 

The following prayer teems with ideas for your memoir:

 

Disturb us, Lord, when

We are too well pleased with ourselves,

When our dreams have come true

Because we have dreamed too little,

When we arrive safely

Because we sailed too close to the shore.

 

Disturb us, Lord, when

With the abundance of things we possess

We have lost our thirst

For the waters of life;

Having fallen in love with life,

We have ceased to dream of eternity

And in our effort to build a new earth,

We have allowed our vision

Of the new Heaven to dim.

 

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,

To venture on wilder seas

Where storms will show Your mastery;

Where losing sight of land,

We shall find the stars.

 

We ask You to push back

The horizons of our hopes;

And to push into the future

In strength, courage, hope, and love.

Attributed to Sir Francis Drake, 1577

 

Look at the first couple of lines: “Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves.”

• What does “too well pleased with ourselves” mean to you, specifically?
• What past events come to mind?
• When were you too pleased with yourself? Or was someone else too pleased with himself?
• What were the results of that mindset?
• Why would/should we pray for God to disturb us over that attitude? What Bible verses illustrate that?
• What lessons can you share with your readers?

 

Look at the next couple of lines: “Disturb us, Lord, when . . . our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little.”

• What does dreaming “too little” mean?
• When did you, or someone you know, dream too little?
• What was the result?
• Why should we want God to disturb our wimpy dreams?
• Tell readers the lessons you learned and how things could have been done differently. In this way, you are mentoring your readers.

 

Sift through your memories for stories that illustrate “Disturb us, Lord, when . . . we arrive safely because we sailed too close to the shore,” and when we focus on an “abundance of things.”

 

Then look at the third stanza.

• When did a different you dare more boldly and venture into wilder seas where, as a result, storms showed you God’s mastery?
• What can you write about “discovering the stars”?
• You’ll want to explain what the following means: “wider seas,” “storms,” “God’s mastery,” “losing sight of the land,” and finding “stars.”

 

Remember,

writing your memoir is not just a hobby.

It’s a ministry.

 

God can use your story to guide, inspire, encourage, influence, motivate, and empower.

 

“Sometimes a particular story, or version of a story, 

is so potent,” says Ayd Instone, 

“that it becomes so interwoven in our lives 

that it defines the direction our life story takes 

and modifies behavior. . . .”

 

In a similar way, your memoir can change your readers.

 

Challenge them to “do a doggie head-tilt.”

 

Be intentional. Make it happen.

 

“Count your blessings backward”

Sandra Clifton was desperately in need. In her discouragement, she cried out to God, “Are You there?”

 

Sandra seemed to hear God answer, “Count your blessings—backward!”

 

Think about that! Count your blessings—backward!

 

And so she did—Sandra began to examine her past, to remember what God had done.

 

In doing so, she discovered God had been guiding and providing for her even though she hadn’t detected it.

 

“I realized what God wanted me to understand: that He had been at work all along, setting up circumstances to bring His will to pass in my life. Recalling previous blessings and answered prayers reminded me of this truth. It is what David meant by ‘encouraging himself in the Lord.’

 

Sandra continues, “Tracing our blessings backward shows us the ‘pattern’ of God’s involvement in our lives. It allows us to see that the very obstacles we face today could be the things that set us up for His blessings tomorrow.”

 

“Today’s blessings are a result of the Father’s masterful orchestration of people and events,” she points out.

 

Sandra’s message is a glorious one, 

and it’s also what writing a spiritual memoir is all about.

 

We memoirists devote ourselves to remembering what God has done in the past. “‘Remember’ is the most frequent command in the Old Testament,” writes Mike Metzger.

 

We examine what happened in the past, we ponder, we take a broader, wider, deeper, higher look.

 

We search for God’s fingerprints.

 

We look for patterns in our lives.

 

We reflect in a deliberate way.

 

We connect the dots.

 

We trace our blessings backward. 

What a superb, blessed experience that can be!

 

What do you need to remember today?

 

Think back on your conversations with God—and write about them.

 

Remember how He confirmed His direction for your life—and write about it.

 

Remember what you committed to Him, remember the Bible verses that inspired you to make that commitment—and write about all that.

 

Remember your joy in setting out—and write about it.

 

Remember all the ways God walked hand in hand with you when you stumbled through rough spots, through dread-filled times, through your anguish—and write about it.

 

Remember raising your hands in surrender to God, trusting Him for His best outcome for your life—and write about it.

 

Remember the ways He brought you to a new and good place—and write about all of that.

 

And take joy in your writing!

 

When you follow God’s breadcrumb trail and listen for “a deeper sound”

 

When we start writing, we have no idea where our memories and ponderings will take us. 

 

The process of crafting a memoir changes the way we hear.

 

It opens our eyes.

 

It helps us discover a higher, deeper, broader story.

 

And the process of writing changes our hearts.

 

“The written word

preserves what otherwise might be lost

among the impressions that inundate our lives.

Thoughts, insights, and perceptions

constantly threaten to leave us

before we have the opportunity

to grasp their meaning.

Writing can keep technology-driven, fast-paced,

quick-fix, ambiguity-intolerant modern life

from overpowering us—

and give us something palpable upon which to reflect.

 

Reflection slows matters down.

It analyzes what was previously unexamined,

and opens doors to different interpretations

of what was there all along.

Writing, by encouraging reflection,

intensifies life.”

 

(Editors Ben Jacobs and Helena Hjalmarsson,

The Quotable Book Lover)

 

Think back to a time when the unexpected happened, something scary or challenging or disappointing. Or maybe it was downright tragic—heartbreaking, life-changing.

 

One time—only one time, I’m sad to say—when something devastating happened, almost immediately Romans 8:28 came to mind: “And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into His plans” (The Living Bible).

 

I told myself that ultimately I’d recognize the good God could bring from the tragedy. I told myself to watch God work. I couldn’t imagine what those blessings might be—those lessons, insights, and opportunities to mature, gain wisdom, and grow in faith—so I waited and watched. And sure enough, He did bring beauty from ashes.

 

I wish that every time hardship blindsided me, I’d have watched for the goodness He worked, but I admit I rarely have.

 

Maybe you’ve had the same experience.

 

Not all is lost at such times, though, if we think back and search for those good things God brought. They’re just waiting for us to recognize them.

 

But too often I’ve forgotten to go back and look for the gems He unearthed from my dirt. I feel bad about that.

 

Mike Metzger’s quote has come to mind frequently in the years since I ran across it:

 

“Many churches have forgotten the premium

that the historic Judeo-Christian tradition placed on

remembrance…and recalling the right things.

The ‘great sin’ of the Old Testament was forgetfulness

(at least it is the most recurrent offense).

‘Remember’ is the most frequent command

in the Old Testament.” 

(Clapham Memo, January 19, 2007,

“Back and Forth,” by Mike Metzger; emphasis mine)

 

Because of Mike’s quote, in recent years I’ve made an effort to remember what God has done for me and my family. Doing so requires me to make time to search my memories.

 

By definition, writing a memoir requires us to go back, to uncover—to excavate, unearth, dig, till the soil and sift through it—looking for diamonds and emeralds.

 

In the process, we might need to stand to the side and take a different look: We need to do a “Doggie Head Tilt,” another Mike Metzger quote. He says, “If your head never tilts, your mind never changes.”

 

So, we tilt our heads and

look at that difficulty from another angle.

We rethink what happened, we reevaluate,

and maybe arrive at a different conclusion

than we had come to before.

 

In Psalm 86:17, David prays, “Give me a sign of your goodness.”

That’s what we memoirists are looking for:

Signs of God’s goodness.

Souvenirs, if you will, for us to keep and cherish.

Symbols, proofs of His goodness.

Evidence. Confirmations.

When God comforts us with them, they become gems

for us to share with others.

 

So we find those treasures, those signs of goodness, and we piece them together, like stringing jewels to make a necklace. While we do so, we examine them, we ponder and reflect on them.

 

We ask ourselves:

• What was God doing?
• What lessons was He teaching me?
• What new insights do I now have?
• How did He change my heart?
• How has my life changed as a result?
• What message did He give me to share with others?

 

Yes, indeed, when we start composing a memoir, we have no idea where our memories and ponderings and writings will take us. 

 

The process of writing opens our eyes and changes our hearts. It helps us discover a higher, deeper, broader story.

 

Our job as memoirists

is to set aside time, as long as it takes,

to follow the breadcrumb trail

God has left for us to help us find our way.

 

And then we share our findings with others

who need help navigating their way.

 

In that way,

penning a memoir can be a sacred journey,

even an act of worship.

 

Discover the blessings God has handed you

in the midst of your hard times,

and then write your memoir,

knowing others need the hope

and wisdom and blessings you have to offer.

 

What can your Bible’s pages help you remember?

Which verses in your Bible have you underlined or highlighted? Look over a few and ask yourself why those are special to you.

Try to remember: Why and how did they speak to your heart? During which event or era were those verses your delight? Or your instruction? Or your only hope?

God longs for us to remember the amazing things He has done (Psalm 105:5), but too often we forget.

Mike Metzger writes,

“Many churches have forgotten the premium

that the historic Judeo-Christian tradition placed on remembrance . . .

and recalling the right things.

The ‘great sin’ of the Old Testament

was forgetfulness

(at least it’s the most recurrent offense).

‘Remember’ is the most frequent command

in the Old Testament.”

(Mike Metzger, Clapham Memo, 

January 19, 2007, “Back and Forth”)

Look through your Bible and notice the Bible verses you cherished in the past, and remember those verses that changed your life, passages you held onto in dark times, verses that made you fall down in worship—and those that buoyed you in your everyday happenings.

Stories that go with those verses could provide good material for your memoir.

One day I spent half an hour looking through an old Bible, one I used from the mid-1980s through the early 1990s. Reading underlined passages sent me back to the ministries I had during those years, and to specific locales, and they reminded me of people and issues and heartbreaks and joys.

Reading them again also reminded me God was always there in the midst, working out His best, even if I didn’t know it at the time.

Below are a few of the verses highlighted in my old Bible. Perhaps in reading them, you, too, will discover story ideas of your own.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26)

Above all else, guard your heart. . . . (Proverbs 4:23)

All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. . . . I wait for you, O Lord; you will answer, O Lord my God. (Psalm 38:9, 15)

Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind. (Psalm 25:2)

God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering. (Genesis 41:52)

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done. . . . (Genesis 50:20)

You are the light of the world. . . . Let your light shine . . . . (Matthew 5:14, 16)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

I have seen the misery of my people. . . .  I have heard them crying. . . . I am concerned about their suffering. . . . I have come down to rescue them. (Exodus 3:7-8)

When they heard that the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their misery, they bowed down and worshipped. (Exodus 4:31)

Now you will see what I will do. . . . Then you will know that I am the Lord your God. (Exodus 6:1-7)

The Lord kept vigil that night. . . . (Exodus 12:42)

I will sing to the Lord,

for he is highly exalted. . . .

The Lord is my strength and my song;

he has become my salvation.

He is my God, and I will praise him. 

(Exodus 15:1-2)

I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself. (Exodus 19:4)

In all things God works for the good of those who love him. (Romans 8:28)

Therefore, I urge you . . . in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:1-2)

Denise Beck writes that when she takes her Bible’s crinkled pages and spends quiet time alone with God, “He meets me in a new way. He teaches me and transforms me, and those places and spaces are heavy with the stories He showed me. Stories of who He is. Stories of who I am.  Stories of who I am in Him.”

Take a few days to go through your Bible

and find passages you cherish,

verses that changed you,

verses that helped you make decisions,

passages you held onto in dark times,

verses that made you bow down in worship.

Include verses that nurtured you

through your everyday routines

and those that delighted you with joy.

Then write your stories—

stories of who He is, who you are,

and who you are in Him.

In the noise and happy messiness of Christmas, “Remember Me”

Whew! I don’t know about you but, for me, the past few days have been busy, busy, busy! And fun. And full of laughter. And love.

When the dust began to settle, I saw award-winning singer Rory Feek sing “Remember Me”—both he and his song were new to me—which cut through the noise and happy messiness of the Christmas season.

The words go something like this:

When you’re tearing open Christmas gifts, “Remember Me.”

When you’re enjoying your favorite Christmas meals and snacks, “Remember Me.”

When you’re putting up your sparkly lights, “Remember Me.”

And He sang about the birth of Jesus and all he did—through his life, ministry, death, forgiveness, and the hope for the future.

It was a powerful experience for me to sit quietly and listen to the song, to take in the message, to readjust my focus on the real reason for our Christmas celebrations.

And the song made me think of you and your memoir. It’s fine and good to write about the fun of Christmas decorations and gatherings and gifts and caroling and food—but within those stories, include messages about what Christmas is really about. “Remember Me,” he said. 

Write charming stories, funny stories, sentimental stories, surprising stories, quirky stories, just "Remember Me," too.

For inspiration, take three minutes to listen to Rory Feek sing his song, "Remember Me."

You don’t know who will read your memoir—

maybe years from now,

maybe after you no longer walk the earth—

but your message about the real Christmas

could significantly impact your readers,

maybe for eternity.

Don’t miss this great opportunity!

Your story is important!

Writing your memoir: Looking for God’s breadcrumb trail

You’ve experienced this: The unexpected happened, something negative or challenging or disappointing. Or maybe it was downright tragic—heartbreaking, life-changing.

One time—only one time, I’m sad to say—when something devastating happened, almost immediately Romans 8:28 came to mind: “And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into His plans” (Living Bible).

I told myself that ultimately I’d recognize the good He’d bring from the tragedy. I told myself to watch God work. I couldn’t imagine what those blessings might be—those lessons, insights, and opportunities to mature, gain wisdom, and grow in faith—but  I waited and watched. And sure enough, He did bring beauty from ashes.

I wish that every time hardship blindsided me, I’d have watched for the goodness He worked, but I admit I rarely have.

Maybe you’ve had the same experience.

Not all is lost at such times, though, if we think back and search for those good things God brought. They’re just waiting for us to recognize them.

But too often I’ve forgotten to go back and look for the gems He unearthed from my dirt. I feel bad about that.

Mike Metzger’s quote has come to mind frequently in the years since I ran across it:

“Many churches have forgotten the premium

that the historic Judeo-Christian tradition placed on

remembrance…and recalling the right things.

The ‘great sin’ of the Old Testament was forgetfulness

(at least it is the most recurrent offense).

‘Remember’ is the most frequent command

in the Old Testament.” 

(Clapham Memo, January 19, 2007,

“Back and Forth,” by Mike Metzger; emphasis mine)

Because of Mike’s quote, in recent years I’ve made an effort to remember what God has done for me and my family. Doing so requires me to set aside time to search my memories.

By definition, writing a memoir requires us to go back, to uncover—to excavate, unearth, dig, till the soil and sift through it—looking for diamonds and emeralds.

In Psalm 86:17, David prays, “Give me a sign of your goodness.” That’s what we’re looking for: Signs of God’s goodness.

“Tokens for good,” Amy Carmichael calls those signs, based on an old translation of the Bible. 

“Look out for them and you shall find them,” Amy continues. “Some will be little private tokens, something just between you and your Lord. Some will be things that you can share with others for their cheer. The great thing is not to miss them in the press of life, for often, very often, by these tokens for good our Lord helps us and comforts us.” (Edges of His Ways, July 12 selection)

So we memoirists find those treasures, those signs of goodness, and we piece them together, like stringing jewels to make a necklace. And while we do so, we examine them, we ponder and reflect on them.

In the process, we might need to stand to the side and take a different look: We need to do a “Doggie Head Tilt,” another Mike Metzger quote. He says, “If your head never tilts, your mind never changes.”

So, we tilt our heads and look at that difficulty from another angle. We rethink what happened, we reevaluate, and maybe arrive at a different conclusion than we had come to before.

We ask ourselves, What was God doing? What lessons was He teaching me? What new insights do I now have? How has my life changed as a result? What message did He give me to share with others?

Perhaps you’ve discovered this: When we start composing a memoir, we have no idea where our memories and ponderings and writings will take us. 

The process of writing opens our eyes and changes our hearts. It helps us discover a bigger, higher, deeper, broader story.

“The written word preserves

what otherwise might be lost

among the impressions that inundate our lives.

Thoughts, insights, and perceptions

constantly threaten to leave us

before we have the opportunity to grasp their meaning.

Writing can … give us something palpable upon which to reflect.

Reflection slows matters down.

It analyzes what was previously unexamined,

and opens doors to different interpretations

of what was there all along.

Writing, by encouraging reflection, intensifies life.”

(Editors Ben Jacobs and Helena Hjalmarsson, The Quotable Book Lover)

Our job as memoirists

is to set aside time, as long as it takes,

to follow the breadcrumb trail

God has left for us to help us find our way.

We pick up those “tokens of good”

and cherish them,

and then we do what Amy Carmichael said

in her old-fashioned way:

we “share them with others for their cheer.”

In that way,

penning a memoir can be a sacred journey,

even an act of worship.

Discover the blessings God has handed you

in the midst of your hard times,

and then write your memoir,

knowing others need the “cheer” you have to offer.

What do you need to remember?

Upside down.

Inside out.

I had turned my heart and my dreams upside down and inside out in order to say “yes” to God and move to Africa, far from my kids—and from future grandchildren I was sure would join our family soon.

Originally I had strongly resisted the move but over time, God helped me believe His dreams for me were better than my dreams, so my husband Dave and I set out for Africa—I was willing to go even though my heart felt shredded.

After only four months on African soil, I’d fallen in love with the place and her people, and Dave and I eagerly embraced our new ministries.

And then it happened.

We received word our first grandchild was on the way. The news ripped open my recently-healed wound and broke my heart: I didn’t want to miss out on knowing and enjoying my grandchild!

Suddenly I doubted, I questioned: Why, God, did You have to send me so far from home?

But then I remembered.

With a leaden, hammering heart, I took a deep breath and remembered:

I had given God many months to clarify whether He wanted us to move to Africa, and He said “yes.”  Only “yes.”

And I remembered:

On our way to Africa, we had spent a few days in England in an old World War II barracks. A poster in our dorm room displayed Psalm 126:5-6, “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping…will return with songs of joy.”

I pondered those words at length because I didn’t know what they meant for me specifically, but I did understand about tears—I had shed so on my way to Africa because I couldn’t see our kids, and now our new grandbaby, for four long years.

But what about tears turning to joy? Could I believe it? Would I believe it? Would I believe that God could turn my tears into joy?

I thought about it for a couple of days and then, there in our dark little barracks room in England, I stood before that poster and told God I’d give Him time to show me songs of joy in Africa. (from Grandma’s Letters from Africa, Chapter 3)

Four months later in Nairobi, with news of my first grandbaby, I did what Priscilla Shirer said: I raised my hands in surrender to my God, trusting Him for His best outcome for my life and that of my kids and grandkids.

I lifted my heart to God and recommitted myself to living where He placed me and to the role He had for me in Africa as well as in His larger agenda.

I told God, yet again, that I’d give Him time to turn my tears to joy.

Some of you have had heartaches—all because you said “yes” to God and His purposes. Initially you had set out with conviction and enthusiasm, but then something happened and turned your world upside down, and maybe you questioned God and doubted your decision to go where He pointed you.

What do you need to remember today?

Think back on your conversations with God—and write about them.

Remember how He confirmed His direction for your life—and write about it.

Remember what you committed to Him, and remember the Bible verses that inspired you to make that commitment—and write about all that.

Remember your joy in setting out—and write about it.

Remember all the ways God walked hand in hand with you when you stumbled through rough spots, through dread-filled times, through your anguish—and write about it.

Remember raising your hands in surrender to God, trusting Him for His best outcome for your life—and write about it.

And remember the ways He brought you to a new and good place—and write about all of that.

And take joy in your writing!