Upside down.
Inside out.
I had turned my
heart and my dreams upside down and inside out in order to say “yes” to God and
move to Africa, far from my kids—and from future grandchildren I was sure would
join our family soon.
Originally I had strongly
resisted the move but over time, God helped me believe His dreams for me were
better than my dreams, so my husband Dave and I set out for Africa—I was
willing to go even though my heart felt shredded.
After only four
months on African soil, I’d fallen in love with the place and her people, and
Dave and I eagerly embraced our new ministries.
And then it
happened.
We received word our
first grandchild was on the way. The news ripped open my recently-healed wound and broke my heart: I didn’t want to miss out on knowing and enjoying my
grandchild!
Suddenly I doubted,
I questioned: Why, God, did You have to send me so far from home?
But then I
remembered.
With a leaden,
hammering heart, I took a deep breath and remembered:
I had given God many
months to clarify whether He wanted us to move to Africa, and He said “yes.” Only “yes.”
And I remembered:
On our way to
Africa, we had spent a few days in England in an old World War II barracks. A
poster in our dorm room displayed Psalm 126:5-6, “Those who sow in tears will
reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping…will return with songs of joy.”
I pondered those
words at length because I didn’t know what they meant for me specifically, but
I did understand about tears—I had shed so on my way to Africa because I
couldn’t see our kids, and now our new grandbaby, for four long years.
But what about tears
turning to joy? Could I believe it? Would I believe it? Would I believe that
God could turn my tears into joy?
I thought about it
for a couple of days and then, there in our dark little barracks room in
England, I stood before that poster and told God I’d give Him time to show me
songs of joy in Africa. (from Grandma’s Letters from Africa, Chapter 3)
Four months later in
Nairobi, with news of my first grandbaby, I did what Priscilla Shirer said: I
raised my hands in surrender to my God, trusting Him for His best outcome for
my life and that of my kids and grandkids.
I lifted my heart to
God and recommitted myself to living where He placed me and to the role He had
for me in Africa as well as in His larger agenda.
I told God, yet
again, that I’d give Him time to turn my tears to joy.
Some of you have had
heartaches—all because you said “yes” to God and His purposes. Initially you
had set out with conviction and enthusiasm, but then something happened and
turned your world upside down, and maybe you questioned God and doubted your
decision to go where He pointed you.
What do you need to
remember today?
Think back on your
conversations with God—and write about them.
Remember how He
confirmed His direction for your life—and write about it.
Remember what you
committed to Him, and remember the Bible verses that inspired you to make that
commitment—and write about all that.
Remember your joy in
setting out—and write about it.
Remember all the
ways God walked hand in hand with you when you stumbled through rough spots, through
dread-filled times, through your anguish—and write about it.
Remember raising
your hands in surrender to God, trusting Him for His best outcome for your life—and
write about it.
And remember the
ways He brought you to a new and good place—and write about all of that.
And take joy in your
writing!
