Showing posts with label holier than thou. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holier than thou. Show all posts

Thursday, March 29, 2018

This is a big deal: “The world’s greatest wisdom passes through stories”


Do you worry about influences on your kids, grandkids, and great-grands?—influences that lure them away from your best hopes and dreams and prayers for them?

Less-than-stellar influencers bombard today’s young people, enticing them to live and believe in ways that could diminish them morally, spiritually, personally, mentally, and relationally.

Today’s kids are listening to the stories of movie stars, singers, comedians, the press, educators, athletes, politicians, authors, friends, and paranormal characters in books and movies.

If you worry about the stories your kids, grandkids, and great-grands listen to, how about telling them your stories?

There’s a good reason the Bible is full of stories. There’s a good reason Jesus told parables.

Never doubt the power of stories! Kathy Edens writes, “Research proves that stories and anecdotes help people retain information better. Forbes reported most people only remember about 5-10% of statistics you cite. But when you accompany your stats with a story, the retention rate bounces up to 65-70%.”

Wow! Did you know that? That’s impressive.

If you want to teach your grandkids the importance of telling the truth, for example, you can say to them, “It’s important to always tell the truth, and you can get yourself into tons of trouble if you lie,” but your words will probably go in one ear and out the other.

OR, you can tell them a story—a story of how you, or someone you know, learned the importance of honesty, and the consequences of dishonesty.

Your stories can teach your kids, grandkids, and great-grands so many important things—about keeping a commitment, being faithful, working hard, being kind.

Your stories can teach them to handle tragedies with tenacity and faith.

Your stories can help them choose courage over fear, generosity over stinginess, compassion over meanness, thankfulness over ingratitude, and so much more.   

 “The world’s greatest wisdom passes through stories,” writes Kathy Edens.

Think about this:

The world’s greatest wisdom
can flow through your stories!

If you’re still not convinced of your stories’ importance, here’s something else for you. It’s staggering, really.

In fact, this is a big deal.

In his New York Times article, “The Stories that Bind Us,” Bruce Feiler explores, from a secular perspective, what makes families healthy, resilient, happy, and functional.

He writes that Dr. Sara Duke, a psychologist working with children, discovered that while all families have struggles, “The [kids] who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges,” she says.

Fascinated with Dr. Sara’s findings, her husband, Marshall, also a psychologist, and his colleague, Robyn Fuvish, did their own research on how much individual kids knew stories of their family’s history and its members—parents and grandparents, for example—and how much they knew of their family’s struggles as well as its triumphs.

They came to what Feiler calls “an overwhelming conclusion: The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their own lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned.”

Shortly after that research, the United States experienced the attack on September 11, 2001, and Dr. Duke and his team checked again on the children they’d studied. None was directly impacted by the terrorist attack yet each one, like the rest of us, still suffered trauma. Nevertheless, “Once again…,” Dr. Duke found, “the ones who knew more about their families proved to be more resilient, meaning they could moderate the effects of stress.”

Don’t miss the rest of Feiler’s article, “The Stories that Bind Us.” You’ll find that youngsters who felt the most connected to their families—through stories of both ups and downs, and of their determination to survive and thrive—were the kids who could handle challenges and overcome obstacles in healthy ways.

There’s a good reason Jesus said,
“Go tell your family everything God has done for you”
(Luke 8:39).

That means you need to tell your stories!

And this is important: Avoid writing stories that are dry. Or dreary. Or preachy—avoid a “holier-than-thou” attitude.

DO write stories that include humor, adventure, mystery, romance, pets, childhood escapades, teenage pranks, athletic competitions—the list could go on and on.

We are storytellers,” writes Carolina Hinojosa-Cisneros. “With the help of God, it is up to us to steward our calling and steward it well.

Think about this:

What stories have been entrusted to you? 

And perhaps even more important: Who has God entrusted to you?

And are you stewarding them—caring for them—to the very best of your ability?

“…Everyone needs writers
every child, every woman, every man—
to bring out these hidden truths
that lie dormant in us and help them
live what truly matters in life.
Writers have all got to work hard
at this occupation—
for the glory of people
and our most cherished beliefs and ideas.
To fight to ignore all the distractions
and take the time to share our stories
and unpack their meaning and messages….

It’s the most important job in the world.”

Be good stewards of your experiences and stories.

Do what Jesus said: Go tell your family all God has done for you.

Your stories could be life-changing for those who read them.





Thursday, January 15, 2015

Your Memoir: Hope for heartbreaking times


If you’ve paid attention to the news lately, many events could make us despair—atrocities in Nigeria and Paris, and in America: violence in homes and on streets.

Then, too, there are the smaller circles in which we each live. In my life, a few days ago a young friend’s husband died suddenly; another had a mastectomy and now faces chemo and an unknown future; my brother needed life-saving medical procedure; a friend is reeling from a job situation that sent him into a tailspin; another doesn’t want to live any longer.

You no doubt have your own set of heartaches, unwelcome surprises, and disappointments.

It’s easy to lose hope.

Have you ever been there? Lost all hope? Despaired? If so, someone needs to hear your storysomeone going through heart-wrenching times, someone who wants to give up. Maybe someone needs to know your story right now, or maybe in the future someone will need to read your memoir.

Tell them: When your hope was fading, instead of giving up, what kept you going? What or who gave you hope? What Bible verses encouraged you? What was God doing for you, even if you couldn’t sense it at the time?

God bless dear Mr. Rogers. Remember him? He once said,

“When I was a boy
and I would see scary things in the news,
my mother would say to me,
‘Look for the helpers.
You will always find people who are helping.’”

God sends helpers. Who did God send to walk alongside you during your difficult time? What, specifically, did he or she do for you?

Just after Jerusalem’s destruction when—humanly speaking—Jeremiah had no reason to hope for anything good, our Old Testament friend wrote of God:

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! 
His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.”
(Lamentations 3:22,23 NLT)

Wow! How could he say that? –an eyewitness to destruction and slaughter, a man standing in the midst of ruins, no doubt stunned with all the losses. How could he not give in to hopelessness?

Jeremiah goes on to say, “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him” (Lamentations 3:25).

Jeremiah was confident that God was faithful and merciful, and that’s why he could hope despite widespread tragedies.

Have you had a similar experience? Looking back on your hope-defying time, does your heart sing, “Yessss!” when you read those words?

Write your story about remaining hopeful in heartbreaking times.

But be careful: Don’t get preachy. Resist a holier-than-thou attitude.

Avoid Christianese—jargon that might be distasteful to readers, or lingo that might hinder clarity. For example, resist using phrases like “I’ve been washed in the blood of the Lamb.” Instead, use everyday language to tell your story.

Someone needs to know your story
a person dealing with heartache,
fighting to keep despair from taking over.
Someone perplexed about God and His ways.
Someone facing a scary, unknown future.
Someone feeling lost. Someone needing courage.
Someone needing a reason to keep living.

When we write our memoirs,
Henri Nouwen

 Someone needs to hear from you
about God’s great faithfulness.
Someone needs to know that morning by morning
He showered new mercies upon you
and He wants to do the same for him or her.


Write your story!





Wednesday, August 24, 2011

“Don’t preach!” Linda proclaims preachingly


When you write your memoir, avoid a “holier than thou” mind-set.


You know what it’s like when someone corners you with this attitude: “Too bad you can’t be like me.”


I’ll always remember a social event in which a man preached me all the way down a hall and against a dining room wall with statements like (I’m not making this up): “Presbyterians are going to hell!” (Yes, he knew I attended a Presbyterian church.)


Did his rant make me change denominations? No. It only made me avoid him in the future.


I agree with Oswald Chambers: “The people who influence us most are not those who buttonhole us….” (My Utmost for His Highest)


If you want people to read your memoir, avoid a know-it-all manner.


An “I’ve arrived” attitude is a turn-off.


Instead of preaching at readers, humbly tell your story.


Rather than drawing attention to yourself, point readers to God.


Lloyd Ogilvie prayed it well:

“May I share what I’ve learned from You without pious superiority
and the lessons of life without arrogance….
I want to point away from myself to You—the Author of my life story.” 

Lloyd John Ogilvie


Since I’m flailing my arms up here in my pulpit:


Avoid “Christianese.” Steer clear of jargon your readers might not understand, phrases like:

  • I’ve been washed in the blood of the Lamb
  • living in darkness
  • redeemed from a dark past
  • decide to follow the Lord
  • cast your burden
  • bear fruit that lasts
  • climb the mountain
  • walk through the valleys
  • ruled by the flesh
  • washed in the blood of Jesus
  • the enemy
  • slave to sin
  • wash as white as snow
  • nothing but the blood of Jesus
  • walk of faith


Instead, use everyday language to explain exactly what such phrases mean. Even words like “repent” should be thoroughly explained for your readers.


Keep working on your WIPs (works in progress—rough drafts). Write in such a way that your readers discover your deepest message: that God is your story’s hero.