Back to Basics: Connecting the dots of your life

 

If you’re a newcomer here at SM 101, you’ll soon recognize that I urge memoirists to connect their dots. Among other benefits, connecting your dots will help you with your story arc. (If you missed recent posts on your story arc, click on Your memoir’s all-important story arc as well as Your memoir’s middle and end. And don’t miss Is your story arc eluding you?)

 

Connecting your dots is also important for you personally.

 

Because, you see, your memoir is a gift not only to readers,

but especially to yourself: 

In writing, you can look back,

connect the dots,

follow the bread crumbs,

and realize

—maybe as never before—

that God has pointed you toward destinations

He planned especially for you—

good places,

even if they didn’t look good at the time.

 

Perhaps you’ll find yourself in Henri Nouwen’s words: “In every critical event, there is an opportunity for God to act creatively and reveal a deeper truth than what we see on the surface of things. God can also turn around critical incidents and seemingly hopeless situations in our lives and reveal light in darkness.” (Discernment)

 

By “connect your dots,” I mean this: Search for the ways God was involved in arranging the key events of your life, and then identify the ways He strings them together—how He “connects the dots.”

 

First, identify your dots:

 

• interruptions that popped into your life,
• disappointments, roadblocks,
• surprises (good and not-so-good),
• where you chose to get your education,
• jobs you took,
• people you met (including your future spouse),
• houses you bought,
• setbacks,
• failures,
• the birth of your children,
• the death of a significant person,
• a conversation with a stranger,
• an accident or illness that changed your life,
• major decisions you had to make,
• meeting the person who’d become your best friend,
• and everything having to do with your faith in God.

 

Look back—take as long as you need. Identify your dots, your turning points, those pivotal moments.

 

Once you’ve done that, string your dots together. What do they all mean in relation to each other?

 

What was God doing over the years to point you in the right direction? How did He use one “dot” to prepare you for the next “dot”? And then the next one? And what did He do to bring you to where you are today?

 

In her Bible study, Esther, Beth Moore writes, “If we could only see what is  happening around us in the unseen realm, our eyes would nearly pop out of socket. . . . So much that would thrill us lies beyond our sight. . . .” How exciting is that?!

 

That’s why memoirists must invest time in retrospection, make an effort to dig deeply into the past, connect the dots, string them together, and make sense of what happened in the past. Recognize how you became the person you are today.

 

Yes, that’s a lot of work—but, oh! The treasures you’ll discover!

 

String together all the ways God has been working out His good plans for your life.

 

“He’s weaving pieces together

that will tell of His faithfulness

when generations to come read the pages of your life.”

Kaitlyn Bouchillon

 

“Never believe that the so-called random events of life

are anything less than God’s appointed order.

Be ready to discover His divine designs

anywhere and everywhere.”

(Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest)

Your life: holy threads, consecrated strands, hallowed fibers, blessed filaments

Your job, as a memoirist, is to do the hard work of discerning and writing about "the designing hand of God and his intervention in our lives" (Ravi Zacharias).

Think about God's footprints alongside ours, His fingerprints all over our lives: Divine intervention.

Sounds good, doesn't it? We like having God intimately involved in our lives.

But " . . . divine intervention is nowhere near as simple a thing as we might imagine," writes Ravi Zacharias (Grand Weaver: How God Shapes Us Through the Events of Our Lives). 

Think about this: 

Sometimes our footprints, and those alongside ours, are muddy, or worse.

Sometimes tattered, holey shoes left those footprints.

Sometimes God's fingerprints all over our lives are sticky, smudged, scarred, bloody. Sometimes the fingerprints we leave behind are, too.

Divine intervention "cannot be only a journey of unmistakable blessing and a path of ease," Zacharias continues. "To allow God to be God we must follow him for who he is and what he intends. . . ."

Each of us has countless blessings and yet, each of us has experienced heartaches, disappointments, failures.

Sometimes life knocks the air out of us.

Too many experience betrayal. Unfaithfulness. Rejection. Abuse.

Some know hunger and sickness and handicaps and homelessness.

We know loss, grief, exhaustion, confusion.

Hopelessness. 

At such times we can be tempted to despair, thinking God doesn't love us enough, or that His plans for us are not good enough. We think we deserve better from Him.

Other times our lives seem hum-drum. We're boring people living boring lives. We wonder if we matter, if we are worth anything of value.

". . . Incident follows incident helter-skelter leading apparently nowhere," Frederick Buechner writes, "but then once in a while there is the suggestion of purpose, meaning, direction, the suggestion of plot. . . ." (The Alphabet of Grace).

That's what Zacharias calls us to see: "the designing hand of God and his intervention in our lives" so that "we know he has a specific purpose for each of us and that he will carry us through until we meet him face-to-face. . . ."

Yes, sometimes life is overwhelmed with sadness, other times life is blah, but if we let Him, and work with Him, God uses all of it to shape and polish us, to mature us and beautify us, even though we might not understand it at the time, or even see it.

Zacharias challenges us to imagine our lives as exquisite fabric: vivid, brilliant colors with threads of gold and silver intertwined. He wants us to see God as the "Grand Weaver . . . with a design in mind for you, a design that will adorn you as he uses your life to fashion you for his purpose, using all the threads within his reach."

You are important to God. You are His workmanship, His treasure. Your life is sacred.

God is custom-making the fabric of your life. Look back over the years and search for each thread and color: the dark ones and the pastel ones, the heavy ones and the light ones, the coarse ones and the golden ones. Those are holy threads. Consecrated strands. Hallowed fibers. Blessed filaments.

Search. Make it your quest to discover the excellent, one-of-a-kind pattern the Grand Weaver is creating out of you.

Go back: Look for spools of thread, God-designed, for you alone. Watch and listen for the sound of the shuttle going back and forth in God's hand. He's making something beautiful: YOU.

The more you grasp

how important you are to God,

and that He's crafting you

into His masterpiece,

the better you can write

your God-and-you stories,

the better you can share them with

your children,

grandchildren, great-grandchildren,

and generations yet unborn. 

Your daily life: “Imagine the divine activities behind the scene”

In her Bible study, Esther, Beth Moore suggests that we “imagine the divine activities behind the scene[s].”

Those few words remind me of my challenge to all you memoirists writing stories with a spiritual dimension. You’ll often hear me say, “Connect your dots.”

By “connect your dots,” I mean this: Search for the ways God was involved in arranging the key events of your life, and then identify the ways He strings them together—how He “connects the dots.”

Beth continues, “If we could only see what is  happening around us in the unseen realm, our eyes would nearly pop out of socket. . . . So much that would thrill us lies beyond our sight. . . .”

Beth writes that God sometimes appears in the midst of a crisis “dressed in the best disguise of all: ordinary events. He tucks a miracle in the folds of His robe and sweeps in and out unnoticed.

“Only in retrospect do we realize that a divine visitation graced our cold, crude winter and the resurrection of spring is on its way.

“Sometimes we grab the hem of Christ’s garment for dear life. . . . Other times it brushes past us and we never recognize that the turn-around marking the months to come began with a single touch.”

She calls those events “so forgettably ordinary.”

So forgettable. So ordinary. Sigh.

That’s why memoirists must invest time in retrospection. That’s why memoirists must set aside time and make an effort to dig deeply into the past, to uncover, piece together, connect the dots, and make sense of what happened in the past.

Yes, that’s a lot of work—but, oh! The treasures you’ll discover!

Amy Carmichael wrote of new insights she received one day in reading Deuteronomy 11 when God was sending the Israelites to the land of milk and honey with the promise that “the eyes of the Lord your God are continually on [the land] from the beginning of the year to its end” (vs 12).

Amy wrote, “‘From the beginning of the year until the end of the year’—much is folded up in that. The day of the week, the hour of the day, every minute of the day, not one is outside His care.” (Edges of His Ways)

Think on those words

while you reflect and ponder and piece together your story—

while you connect your dots.

From the beginning to the end, God’s eye is on you.

Every minute.

“Never believe that the so-called random events of life are anything less than God’s appointed order. Be ready to discover His divine designs anywhere and everywhere.” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest)

Tuesday Tidbit: Writing about prayer doesn't need to be stodgy or stuffy or boring

Did your heart make a little skip when you read Thursday’s post—about including stories about prayer in your memoir? I hope so. Such stories can be powerful for your readers.

Stories about prayer can:

• encourage readers to pray themselves,
• watch for God’s answers,
• enrich their relationship with God in infinite, eternal ways,
• and change their lives!

Stories that include prayer don’t need to be stodgy. Or stuffy. Or boring.

They can include humor, suspense, play, adventure, joy, drama, science, and all kinds of lively, fascinating, exciting stuff.

The following quotes will bless you and, I hope, inspire you to write those stories that include something about prayer.

“Prayer is … putting oneself in the hands of God … and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.” Mother Teresa

“It is impossible to carry on your life as a disciple without definite times of secret prayer. Prayer is not simply getting things from God—that is only the most elementary kind of prayer. Prayer is coming into perfect fellowship and oneness with God.” Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

“Prayer is the heart of fellowship with God. In it we open our total self to God in adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication. Prayer is communion with God in which He speaks to us through the thoughts engendered in our minds and the decisions of our wills. How wonderful: we can share life with the Lord and Creator of the universe!” Lloyd John Ogilvie, God’s Best for My Life

Teaching kids, grandkids, and others about prayer

is one of the most important things you can do.

Your prayers, and your memoir, can outlive your life.

And there you have it—your Tuesday Tidbit.

Holy threads, consecrated strands, hallowed fibers, blessed filaments

God’s footprints alongside ours, his fingers all over our lives: Divine intervention.

Sounds good, doesn’t it? We like having God intimately involved in our lives.

But “...divine intervention is nowhere near as simple a thing as we might imagine,” writes Ravi Zacharias (Grand Weaver: How God Shapes Us Through the Events of Our Lives).

Think about this:

Sometimes those footprints alongside ours are muddy.

Sometimes tattered, stinky, holey shoes left those footprints.

Sometimes those fingerprints all over our lives are sticky, smudged, scarred, bloody.

Divine intervention “cannot be only a journey of unmistakable blessing and a path of ease,” Zacharias continues. “To allow God to be God we must follow him for who he is and what he intends….”

Each of us has heartaches, disappointments, failures.

Too many experience betrayal. Unfaithfulness. Abuse. Bullying. Racial prejudice and profiling.

Some know hunger and sickness and handicaps and homelessness.

We know loss, grief, exhaustion, confusion.

Hopelessness.

Other times our lives seem hum-drum: We’re boring people living boring lives. We wonder if we matter, if we are worth anything of value.

“…Incident follows incident helter-skelter leading apparently nowhere,” Frederick Buechner writes, “but then once in a while there is the suggestion of purpose, meaning, direction, the suggestion of plot….” (The Alphabet of Grace)

That’s what Zacharias calls us to see: “the designing hand of God and his intervention in our lives” so that “we know he has a specific purpose for each of us and that he will carry us through until we meet him face-to-face….”

Yes, sometimes life is blah, but other times life knocks the air out of us. If we let him, and if we work with him, God uses all of it to shape and polish us, to mature and beautify us—though we might not understand it at the time, or even see it.

Zacharias challenges us to imagine our lives as exquisite fabric—vivid, brilliant colors with threads of gold and silver intertwined—and to see God as the “Grand Weaver . . . with a design in mind for you, a design that will adorn you as he uses your life to fashion you for his purposes, using all the threads within his reach.”

You are important to God. You are his workmanship, his treasure. He is custom-making the fabric of your life. Your life is sacred.

While writing your memoir, look back over the years and search for each thread and color—the dark ones and the pastel ones, the heavy ones and the light ones, the coarse ones and the golden ones. Those are holy threads. Consecrated strands. Hallowed fibers. Blessed filaments.

Search for—make it your quest to—discover the excellent one-of-a-kind pattern the Grand Weaver is creating out of you.

Go back: Look for spools of thread, God-designed, for you alone. Watch and listen for the sound of the shuttle going back and forth in God’s hand. He’s making something beautiful: You.

The more you grasp

how important you are to God,

and that he’s crafting you

into his masterpiece,

the better you can write

your God-and-you stories—

and the better you can share them

with your children,

grandchildren,

great-grandchildren,

and generations yet unborn.

God can use your stories to teach others

That they, too, are important to Him.

They are his workmanship, his treasure.

He is custom-making the fabric of their lives,

And their lives are sacred.

P. S. I can't get the links to work today. This new computer might be the problem.... Sigh.... Anyway, here are links:

Grand Weaver, by Ravi Zacharias: https://www.amazon.com/Grand-Weaver-Shapes-Through-Events/dp/0310324955/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1509044209&sr=8-1&keywords=Grand+Weaver%3A+How+God+Shapes+Us+Through+the+Events+of+Our+Lives

The Alphabet of Grace, by Frederick Buechner: https://www.amazon.com/Alphabet-Grace-Frederick-Buechner/dp/0060611790/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1455245629&sr=8-1&keywords=alphabet+of+grace

You are important to God: https://spiritualmemoirs101.blogspot.com/2011/05/you-are-important-to-god.html

My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers:  https://www.amazon.com/My-Utmost-His-Highest-Paperback/dp/1572937718/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1509047085&sr=8-2&keywords=my+utmost+for+his+highest

Tuesday Tidbit: If your life's not a “perfect, bright-shining example,” should you write a memoir?

Sooo...... Your life isn't a "perfect, bright-shining example," in the words of Oswald Chambers.

In case you need a reminder, 

no one's life is a "perfect, bright-shining example." 

We've all messed up, time after time after time. 

That's why God's grace is so important! 

Make a conscious decision: 

Write stories that celebrate the mercy 

and grace and kindness 

God has given you!

Holy threads, consecrated strands, hallowed fibers, blessed filaments

God’s footprints alongside ours, His fingerprints all over our lives: Divine intervention.

Sounds good, doesn’t it? We like having God intimately involved in our lives.

But “…divine intervention is nowhere near as simple a thing as we might imagine,” writes Ravi Zacharias (Grand Weaver: How God Shapes Us Through the Events of Our Lives).

Think about this:

Sometimes those footprints are muddy.

Sometimes tattered, holey shoes left those footprints.

Sometimes those fingerprints are sticky, smudged, scarred, bloody.

Divine intervention “cannot be only a journey of unmistakable blessing and a path of ease,” Zacharias continues. “To allow God to be God we must follow him for who he is and what he intends….”

Each of us has heartaches, disappointments, failures.

Many experience betrayal. Unfaithfulness. Abuse.

Some of us know hunger and sickness and handicaps and homelessness.

We know loss, grief, weariness, confusion.

We know hopelessness.

Other times our lives seem hum-drum: We’re boring people living boring lives. We wonder if our lives matter, if we are worth anything of value.

“…incident follows incident helter-skelter leading apparently nowhere,” Frederick Buechner writes, “but then once in a while there is the suggestion of purpose, meaning, direction, the suggestion of plot….” (The Alphabet of Grace)

That’s what Zacharias calls us to see: “the designing hand of God and his intervention in our lives” so that “we know he has a specific purpose for each of us and that he will carry us through until we meet him face-to-face….”

Although sometimes life is blah, other times life knocks the air out of us, if we let Him, and work with Him, God uses all of it to shape us and polish us and mature us and beautify us—though we might not understand it at the time, or even see it.

Zacharias challenges us to imagine our lives as exquisite fabric—vivid, brilliant colors with threads of gold and silver intertwined—and to see God as the “Grand Weaver… with a design in mind for you, a design that will adorn you as he uses your life to fashion you for his purpose, using all the threads within his reach.”

You are important to God. 

You are His workmanship, His treasure. 

Your life is sacred.

God is custom-making the fabric of your life. Look back over the years and search for each thread and color—the dark ones and the pastel ones, the heavy ones and the light ones, the coarse ones and the golden ones. Those are holy threads. Consecrated strands. Hallowed fibers. Blessed filaments.

Search for—make it your quest to—discover the excellent, one-of-a-kind pattern the Grand Weaver is creating out of you.

Go back: look for spools of thread, God-designed, for you alone. Watch and listen for the sound of the shuttle going back and forth in God’s hand. He’s making something beautiful of your life.

The more you grasp

how important you are to God,

and that He’s crafting you

into His masterpiece,

the better you can write

your God-and-you stories—

and the better you can

share them with your children,

grandchildren, great-grandchildren,

and generations yet unborn.

Those things that threaten to undo us

“Life’s greatest trials often come without a moment’s notice. There is no prep time or convenient moment to book them on our daily calendars,” says Sheila Walsh in her Bible study, The Shelter of God’s Promises.

“They brutishly make their way into our lives and threaten to undo us.”

You know what she means. So do I.

“But,” she continues, “suffering is often the very thing that allows our lives to be resurrected. When we look back, those moments can become milestones and strong pillars … because we survived by [God’s] strength alone.”

Romans 8:28 tells us “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” (NIRV)

Sheila calls that verse “God’s promise to work out all the twists and turns of our lives.”

She writes, “It’s almost impossible to believe that God can use all things, even the terrible and shameful moments from our past (or present!) to work for good for His glory.”

Yes, for humans that can seem impossible, but somehow He does it! “With God, all things are possible” (Mark 10:27).

In order to see how God has done that in our lives, Sheila suggests we make a two-column chart, and “write down hardships you’ve faced on the left side, and across from those write the blessings that came from those experiences.”

This is a perfect exercise for those writing memoirs. Like Sheila pointed out, looking back can yield rich treasures.

Filling out your chart might take a few days or weeks but, as you work on it, look for ways God turned your hardships into milestones.

How did He turn your suffering into strong pillars for your faith?

How God turn your greatest trials into your greatest blessings?

Did God use those hardships and blessings to bring you new opportunities that you wouldn’t have otherwise received?

What did God teach you about Himself in the midst of your hardships and blessings? What did you learn about yourself?

The next time a trauma or heartache entered your life, how did God’s help in the past give you hope for the future?

Write your stories—because you survived by God’s strength alone.

Write your stories—because of the miracle of God’s grace.

Write your stories—not because of who you are, but because of who God is.  

“Don’t preach!” Linda proclaims preachingly

When you write your memoir, avoid a “holier than thou” mind-set.

You know what it’s like when someone corners you with this attitude: “Too bad you can’t be like me.”

I’ll always remember a social event in which a man preached me all the way down a hall and against a dining room wall with statements like (I’m not making this up): “Presbyterians are going to hell!” (Yes, he knew I attended a Presbyterian church.)

Did his rant make me change denominations? No. It only made me avoid him in the future.

I agree with Oswald Chambers: “The people who influence us most are not those who buttonhole us….” (My Utmost for His Highest)

If you want people to read your memoir, avoid a know-it-all manner.

An “I’ve arrived” attitude is a turn-off.

Instead of preaching at readers, humbly tell your story.

Rather than drawing attention to yourself, point readers to God.

Lloyd Ogilvie prayed it well:

“May I share what I’ve learned from You without pious superiority

and the lessons of life without arrogance….

I want to point away from myself to You—the Author of my life story.” 

Lloyd John Ogilvie

Since I’m flailing my arms up here in my pulpit:

Avoid “Christianese.” Steer clear of jargon your readers might not understand, phrases like:

• I’ve been washed in the blood of the Lamb
• living in darkness
• redeemed from a dark past
• decide to follow the Lord
• cast your burden
• bear fruit that lasts
• climb the mountain
• walk through the valleys
• ruled by the flesh
• washed in the blood of Jesus
• the enemy
• slave to sin
• wash as white as snow
• nothing but the blood of Jesus
• walk of faith

Instead, use everyday language to explain exactly what such phrases mean. Even words like “repent” should be thoroughly explained for your readers.

Keep working on your WIPs (works in progress—rough drafts). Write in such a way that your readers discover your deepest message: that God is your story’s hero.