“If there is any possible way for readers to misread and misinterpret what you write, they will.”

 I still remember the first time I read the following: 

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” (Attributed to Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman) 

That statement stunned me. It had never occurred to me that human beings could be on such different wavelengths despite making an effort to communicate. In fact, that statement shook me up. I began wondering how many times other people had misinterpreted my words, and how many times I had misunderstood others. 

Here’s something else that upsets me: I’ve heard that eighty percent of what we communicate is misunderstood. Eighty percent! The ripple effects could be staggering. 

And here’s this from Kendall Haven: 

“It has long been a principle of writing that, if there is any possible way for readers to misread and misinterpret what you write, they will.” (Kendall Haven, A Storied Career) 

I had no idea. How about you? 

And, perhaps even more important: What’s a writer to do? 

Well, I gave you a few tips last week. (Click on Will readers find your writing clear and concise?)

Here are a few more: 

Ask yourself if you’ve used technical or foreign terms your readers might not understand. 

Eliminate lingo—Christianese, for example—which can be distasteful for some readers because it’s an insider language; it can make others feel like unwelcome outsiders. 

For other readers, the meaning of the Chritianese jargon might not be clear, even if it’s clear to you and your circle of Christian friends. Avoid phrases like “I’ve been washed in the blood of the Lamb.” Instead, use everyday language to tell your story clearly and precisely. 

Here are more examples of Christianese to avoid: 

• living in darkness
• redeemed from a dark past
• decided to follow the Lord
• cast your burden
• bear fruit that lasts
• climb the mountain
• walk through the valleys
• ruled by the flesh
• washed by the blood of Jesus
• the enemy
• slave to sin
• washed as white as snow
• nothing but the blood of Jesus
• walk of faith
• taking your quiet time
• put a hedge of protection around [a person]

Set your story aside for a few days, then read it aloud, putting yourself in your readers’ shoes. Be alert to what might confuse or cloud. 

Then reword everything that could send an ambiguous or confusing message. Make it easy for your readers to understand. 

Kendall Haven also said this: “The purpose of . . . editing is to make the writing so precise that it cannot be misread or misinterpreted.” (Kendall Haven, A Storied Career) 

And please be convinced of this: Rewording and rewriting and editing are not punishment. Embrace the art and craft of it! (Click on Tell yourself rewriting is not punishment.)

Most of all, have fun!

 

 

 

 

Your memoir’s all-important takeaways

People will read your memoir for its takeaways.

What’s a takeaway?

It’s a gem you unearthed that provided you with clarity and helped make sense of your life—a universal truth you discovered—which you offer to your readers.

Takeaways are what readers “take away” from your memoir, the important lessons they’ll carry with them after they’ve read the last page and closed the back cover.

When a reader stumbles upon a takeaway, a meaningful sentence or two that speaks to something deep inside, he will pause to think, to re-read the words, slowly. He might underline the passage. Or maybe highlight it. Or write notes in the margin.

So how do you create a takeaway?

Think back. At some point you had an A-ha moment and a light came on. Puzzle pieces began falling into place. You were not the same person after that.

That’s good, that’s exciting. Such discoveries can be defining moments, life-changers—but go beyond that. Share the benefits of that experience with your readers by crafting a takeaway. Offer them their own A-ha moment.

In other words, in a concise way give words to the principle you learned—think of the takeaway as a precept, a moral, a proverb, a saying, a guideline, an adage—something readers can live by, a principle that can be life-changing for them, too.

Use your takeaway to offer readers hope,

or wisdom,

or courage,

or laughter,

or a solution,

or a new way of living or loving.

You, the writer, encounter such precepts—such truths to live by—through epignosis. To gnosis (compared to epignosis) is to have head knowledge of something, but to epignosis something is to know it from experience. (Read my earlier post about epignosis: Understanding epignosis can help you write your memoir.)

Your takeaways, then, communicate to your readers: “I know this is true because I have experienced it, I have lived it. It changed my life. Perhaps it will change your life, too.”

Where do you put takeaways in your memoir?

“Takeaway happens within a reflection,” point out Brooke Warner and Dr. Linda Joy Myers. (If you missed our recent blog post about the importance of reflection in memoir, click on Reflection and the words we use.)

“Takeaway can be a reflection, but not all reflection is takeaway,” they continue. “… [W]herever there is reflection, there is an opportunity for a takeaway, but that doesn’t mean that necessarily all reflections are going to be takeaways.”

In other words, takeaways accompany segments in your memoir in which you reflect. You will probably have a number of reflections throughout your memoir. Some if not all of them will be opportunities for you to include a takeaway for your readers.

Avoid Christianese—jargon that might be distasteful to readers, or lingo that might hinder your readers’ understanding.  For example, resist using phrases such as “I’ve been washed in the blood of the Lamb.” Instead, use everyday language to make your point.

And don’t beat around the bush! Pinpoint your message. Clarity is your goal. (Please, please, read my blog post about writers who circle all around The Point but never state The Point. Click on What’s the point?)

Dedicate quality time to crafting your takeaways. Specify what was the most important message or lesson you took away from that experience (the one you’re reflecting on). Boil it down, write a concise message for your readers.

Here are two examples: 

“We find by losing. We hold fast by letting go. We become something new by ceasing to be something old.” (Frederick Buechner) 

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the ed of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.’” (Mary Anne Racmacher)

Most memoirists scatter takeaways throughout their memoirs. If you have a conclusion, a post script, or an epilogue in your memoir, reiterate your most important takeaways in them, too.

Your takeaways are the most powerful part of your memoir—

they’re packed with punch.

They’re the part of your memoir that

makes a difference in people’s lives.

At first your takeaways will resemble diamonds-in-the-rough. Your job is to cut and polish and make those gems sparkle. Doing so adds to their value for both you and your readers.

Your Memoir: Hope for heartbreaking times

If you’ve paid attention to the news lately, many events could make us despair—atrocities in Nigeria and Paris, and in America: violence in homes and on streets.

Then, too, there are the smaller circles in which we each live. In my life, a few days ago a young friend’s husband died suddenly; another had a mastectomy and now faces chemo and an unknown future; my brother needed life-saving medical procedure; a friend is reeling from a job situation that sent him into a tailspin; another doesn’t want to live any longer.

You no doubt have your own set of heartaches, unwelcome surprises, and disappointments.

It’s easy to lose hope.

Have you ever been there? Lost all hope? Despaired? If so, someone needs to hear your story:  someone going through heart-wrenching times, someone who wants to give up. Maybe someone needs to know your story right now, or maybe in the future someone will need to read your memoir.

Tell them: When your hope was fading, instead of giving up, what kept you going? What or who gave you hope? What Bible verses encouraged you? What was God doing for you, even if you couldn’t sense it at the time?

God bless dear Mr. Rogers. Remember him? He once said,

“When I was a boy

and I would see scary things in the news,

my mother would say to me,

‘Look for the helpers.

You will always find people who are helping.’”

Fred Rogers

God sends helpers. Who did God send to walk alongside you during your difficult time? What, specifically, did he or she do for you?

Just after Jerusalem’s destruction when—humanly speaking—Jeremiah had no reason to hope for anything good, our Old Testament friend wrote of God:

“The faithful love of the Lord never ends! 

His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness;

his mercies begin afresh each morning.”

(Lamentations 3:22,23 NLT)

Wow! How could he say that? –an eyewitness to destruction and slaughter, a man standing in the midst of ruins, no doubt stunned with all the losses. How could he not give in to hopelessness?

Jeremiah goes on to say, “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him” (Lamentations 3:25).

Jeremiah was confident that God was faithful and merciful, and that’s why he could hope despite widespread tragedies.

Have you had a similar experience? Looking back on your hope-defying time, does your heart sing, “Yessss!” when you read those words?

Write your story about remaining hopeful in heartbreaking times.

But be careful: Don’t get preachy. Resist a holier-than-thou attitude.

Avoid Christianese—jargon that might be distasteful to readers, or lingo that might hinder clarity. For example, resist using phrases like “I’ve been washed in the blood of the Lamb.” Instead, use everyday language to tell your story.

Your story is important.

Someone needs to know your story—

a person dealing with heartache,

fighting to keep despair from taking over.

Someone perplexed about God and His ways.

Someone facing a scary, unknown future.

Someone feeling lost. Someone needing courage.

Someone needing a reason to keep living.

When we write our memoirs,

we "make our lives into lives for others."

Henri Nouwen

 Someone needs to hear from you

about God’s great faithfulness.

Someone needs to know that morning by morning

He showered new mercies upon you

and He wants to do the same for him or her.

Write your story!

“Don’t preach!” Linda proclaims preachingly

When you write your memoir, avoid a “holier than thou” mind-set.

You know what it’s like when someone corners you with this attitude: “Too bad you can’t be like me.”

I’ll always remember a social event in which a man preached me all the way down a hall and against a dining room wall with statements like (I’m not making this up): “Presbyterians are going to hell!” (Yes, he knew I attended a Presbyterian church.)

Did his rant make me change denominations? No. It only made me avoid him in the future.

I agree with Oswald Chambers: “The people who influence us most are not those who buttonhole us….” (My Utmost for His Highest)

If you want people to read your memoir, avoid a know-it-all manner.

An “I’ve arrived” attitude is a turn-off.

Instead of preaching at readers, humbly tell your story.

Rather than drawing attention to yourself, point readers to God.

Lloyd Ogilvie prayed it well:

“May I share what I’ve learned from You without pious superiority

and the lessons of life without arrogance….

I want to point away from myself to You—the Author of my life story.” 

Lloyd John Ogilvie

Since I’m flailing my arms up here in my pulpit:

Avoid “Christianese.” Steer clear of jargon your readers might not understand, phrases like:

• I’ve been washed in the blood of the Lamb
• living in darkness
• redeemed from a dark past
• decide to follow the Lord
• cast your burden
• bear fruit that lasts
• climb the mountain
• walk through the valleys
• ruled by the flesh
• washed in the blood of Jesus
• the enemy
• slave to sin
• wash as white as snow
• nothing but the blood of Jesus
• walk of faith

Instead, use everyday language to explain exactly what such phrases mean. Even words like “repent” should be thoroughly explained for your readers.

Keep working on your WIPs (works in progress—rough drafts). Write in such a way that your readers discover your deepest message: that God is your story’s hero.