Write Tight

The wise old guideline, “write tight,” means to cut extra words.

Write tight: Be concise.

Avoid wordiness.

Economize.

Streamline.

Trim fat.

Remove jumble.

Cut off dead wood.

Declutter so your readers won’t get bogged down and give up on your book. As The Grammar Girl says, “Readers don’t want to rummage through a messy verbal flea market to discover one or two sparkly gems of information.”  

“Vigorous writing is concise,” says William Strunk, Jr. “A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.”

Joseph M. Williams says, “Some words are verbal tics that we use as unconsciously as we clear our throats,” words like actually, particular, really, certain, virtually, individual, basically, generally, and practically.

He gives this before-and-after example:

“Productivity actually depends on certain factors that basically involve psychology more than any particular technology.”

Williams offers this revision: “Productivity depends more on psychology than on technology.” (from Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace)

Remove redundancies such as: I repeated again, he shrugged his shoulders, John gave her true, accurate facts, Eliza served various different appetizers, Teddy ate each and every piece of chocolate.

Often (but not always) you can cut “that” from a sentence. Here’s an example: “I know that you are busy but I think that this is information that you need to know.”

"Prune out all the small words that qualify how you feel and how you think and what you saw: 'a bit,' 'a little,' 'sort of,' 'kind of,' 'rather,' 'quite,' 'very,' 'too,' 'pretty much,' 'in a sense,' and dozens more," writes William Zinsser. "They dilute both your style and your persuasiveness."

"Don't say you were a bit confused," Zinsser continues, "and sort of tired and a little depressed and somewhat annoyed. Be confused. Be tired. Be depressed. Be annoyed. Don't hedge your prose with little timidities. Good writing is lean and confident." (On  Writing Well, Fourth Edition)

The Grammar Girl says:

“Keep an eye on the verb ‘make’ when it us used in constructions such as ‘make a decision,’ ‘make a correction,’ and ‘make use of.’ Here’s an example of a bloated sentence:

“‘Seth Bullock will make a decision tomorrow about whether his calling is hardware or law enforcement.’

“Change ‘make a decision’ to ‘decide’ for a leaner sentence:

“‘Seth Bullock will decide tomorrow whether his calling is hardware or law enforcement.’” (from How to Write Clear Sentences, by The Grammar Girl)

What clutter would you remove from the following sentence? (Leave your revision in the comments section below.)

“My most important piece of advice to all you would-be writers: when you write, try to leave out all the parts readers skip.” (Elmore Leonard)

Often “try to” is another phrase to delete; note the Leonard quote above and the following: “Try to recapture the wonder of being a child.”

How would you revise the next sentence? 

"The good thing about it is that it's one I can complete in fairly easy segments."

Look over your current manuscript. Read it aloud because your ears will hear what your eyes overlook. Then, cut out the clutter and tighten it up.

If you write tight, your readers will appreciate your story’s fast pace and clarity. Instead of stumbling over piles of words and phrases, they’ll focus on your message.

You’ll enjoy these additional articles on writing tight: Jody Renner on Uncluttered Prose (She includes before-and-after examples.)

How to Write Clear Sentences, by The Grammar Girl

At Sharon Lippincott's blog, agent Harry Bingham tells of cutting 70,000 words from a manuscript "to tease out the amazing story that lay buried within. The shorter and more focused the manuscript became, the more appealing it grew."

“When you read a great book, 

you're reading an author 

willing to cut 

thousands of words.”  

Donald Miller

Humbled, annoyed, and temporarily overwhelmed

This week I'm taking a break to work on our rapidly changing technology. Keeping up with it can be humbling for old folks like me.

And annoying.

Overwhelming.

It can cause tears and angst and lack of sleep.

Pray for me! (And may God forgive me for being grouchy.)

For now, though, I know you’ll enjoy visiting the blogs posted in the right column, below. They are packed with inspirational, helpful stuff for memoir writers.

C’mon back next week!

“How many dead and gone women were in the kitchen with you?”

“I opened my recipe files and was suddenly surrounded by all the dead women whose recipes I was using,” writes memoirist Marion Roach Smith. That was a scene from cooking in her kitchen. 

Then she turns to you and me: “How many dead and gone women were in the kitchen with you recently?”

Marion’s jolting, inelegant words remind me that my recipe files are packed with family-favorites from my grandma, my mom and her sisters, my mom’s cousin, my mother-in-law, and even a few men (and—ahem—most of them are still alive). 

Those recipes—so much more than 5” x 3” cards!—represent people intricately connected to me, folks who showed me how to live and love, dear ones whose lives nurtured mine. In turn, their lives have impacted my children and grandchildren. 

My grandma’s recipes, some in her handwriting, generate dozens of memories. I picture myself at my grandparents’ kitchen table eating dinner—roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, and Grandma’s creamed peas. She grew them in her garden out back behind the garage.

And—oh! I have memories of that garden! Grandma took me there one afternoon—I might have been four or five years old—and introduced me to sweet tender new baby peas right out of the pod. 

Recently I took my granddaughter to our garden and taught her to pop open a pea pod and eat those sweet little morsels right out of the pod. I told her the story of my grandmother doing the same with me, and I wondered aloud if she’d remember, as I’ve remembered all these years.

Grandma and I sat at her kitchen table, snapped open heaps of pods, and popped the peas into a saucepan, ready to cook for dinner after Grandpa arrived home from work. 

And perhaps for dessert we’d enjoy Grandma’s fudge pudding cake.

Memories: Countless dinners around my grandparents’ table, happy conversations, doing dishes with Grandma afterward, and always her merry but oh-so-soft laughter. 

I think of the gentle, devoted wife she was to my grandpa, the faithful, hard working mother she was to my mom and her sisters, and the loving grandmother and great-grandmother she was to us. 

Shy and humble, she was the heart of the family.

Looking back now, I see how like God she was: Never self-seeking, always living for others, slow to anger, compassionate, full of grace and mercy. 

My grandkids and their kids need to know about Grandma Mac. 

I want them to know the blessings they’ve received because of my grandma. 

I want them to know Grandma Mac’s DNA lives in their cells, that some of their likes and passions and longings—even their laughter—could be just like hers. I want them to know they can choose to live the way she did.

Marion Roach Smith asked how many dead and gone women are in the kitchen with us when we cook. My grandma passed away 25 years ago but, because of her love-infused involvement in our lives, she lives on in those of us who knew and loved her—and still miss her terribly.

Yes, when I use Grandma Mac’s recipes, she is with me in my kitchen. Her recipes remind me of her goodness, of the way she lived and loved. I hear her soft, gentle laughter, I see her smiling face—the most beautiful in the world. Her recipes can help me write stories for my grandkids and future generations.

What about you? Dig for your own treasures from old family recipes. Gather memories of people who shared them with you and then write your stories because:  

We all come from the past, 

and children ought to know what it was

that went into their making,

to know that life is

a braided cord of humanity

stretching up from time long gone,

and that it cannot be defined 

by the span of a single journey

from diaper to shroud.

Russell Baker, Growing Up

Be a Storyteller, a guest post by Wayne Groner

This week we welcome author, editor, and writing coach Wayne Groner.

If you’re struggling to write your memoir, or to complete it, 

Wayne has a solution for you.

Today I’m guest posting over at Wayne’s blog. 

Click on over to Your Memories, Your Book.

Be a Storyteller Not a Writer, 
guest post by Wayne E. Groner

The Bible is the storytelling masterpiece of the ages; humans trying to make sense of their relationships with God and each other. It’s not likely these storytellers considered themselves writers; they were more interested in the larger meanings of their experiences and how those meanings would affect their children and grandchildren.

Today, writers have created thousands of books, classes, workshops, conferences, websites, and email newsletters to help you write your story. In group settings you benefit from questions and experiences of others and take home lots of handouts; armed with these, your own notes, and dozens of writing exercises, you are pumped to get the job done. Nothing like it was available to Bible writers—they were on their own to follow the leadings of the Holy Spirit.

Still, it can be daunting for you to look at a blank computer screen or blank sheet of paper and wonder how to begin. After all your exposure to the writing world you may be thinking, I’m not a writer.

Delete that thought. Nobody knows what a writer is, except that it is someone who writes. Stop thinking of what you are not and focus on what you are as far as your memoir is concerned: a storyteller. Forget about the blank computer screen or blank sheet of paper. Instead, buy a hand-held digital voice recorder. Tell your story to the recorder and then transcribe and polish your story at your convenience.

That’s how I helped Dorsey Levell write his book, Dumb Luck or Divine Guidance, a history of the Council of Churches of the Ozarks where he was founding executive director for thirty-one years. We scheduled a series of weekly face-to-face interviews which I recorded, transcribed, and polished into a narrative that became the book. Dorsey is a great story teller and readily admits he is not a writer. People who read his book and know Dorsey say it’s like sitting across from him over a cup of coffee and listening to him tell a story—precisely what we were after. You can do the same kind of thing in writing your memoir.

Digital voice recorders come in many models and range in price from thirty dollars to $600. I’ve had my thirty dollar model for five years and it meets my needs quite satisfactorily. It has four file folders and can record up to 148 hours per folder, more time that I will need. I use long-life lithium batteries and keep spares handy. 

Many of my interviews with clients are by telephone, so I bought a recorder with a cable to transfer recorded interviews to my computer; no additional software is needed. I create a computer folder in which to save the recordings and name the folder for the project, usually the name of the client. The recorder automatically assigns a number to each recording which I to a date with key words. I limit the length of each interview to one hour for ease of managing and to be sensitive to a client’s time and energy. 

Transcribing from a recording is a chore for me; I prefer to use a professional secretary. A secretary can do in an hour what takes me three hours, enabling me to concentrate on writing the narrative. I email computer-saved recordings to a secretary who emails to me Word documents from which I draft a client’s memoir. You may choose to do your own transcribing.

A digital voice recorder is an excellent tool to help you tell the stories of your memoir. Instead of focusing on being a writer you can focus on being a storyteller.


Author, editor, and writing coach Wayne E. Groner is the credited ghost writer of Dumb Luck or Divine Guidance. He teaches a monthly library class on writing memoirs, biography, and family history. He blogs at Your Memories, Your Book.

Who is your Abigail?

Have you ever gotten yourself into a horrific mess that was dragging you toward certain ruin? Have you made an atrocious choice that would hurt other people?

Did you ever decide to carry out something you knew was wrong, something you could never undo—but it felt so good at the time?

Most of us have carried out—or tried to carry out—any number of vile things and now, when we look back, we’re sickened to recognize the appalling things we’re capable of doing! We’re horrified at how hard our hearts can become.

Well, we are not alone. Even David—yes, the David of the Bible, the guy God called a man after His own heart—committed despicable things.  

On one occasion, David decided to slaughter a bunch of people but God intervened: He sent Abigail to persuade David to change his mind (1 Samuel 25).

Let me tell you about Abigail. While you read, put yourself in David’s shoes.

David and his men moved to a wilderness where a wealthy man, Nabal, owned thousands of sheep and goats. Because Nabal and his flocks were vulnerable to thieves and other dangers, David and his men watched over them.

When David heard that Nabal was shearing his sheep—a time when Nabal would have had plenty of money from selling the wool—David sent ten men to Nabal on a feast day, a day most people showed extra generosity to others. 

David told his men to say to Nabal, “Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours! ….When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was stolen from them. Ask your own servants and they will tell you. So would you be kind toward my young men…. Please give your servants and your son David whatever provisions you can find for them.”

One of Nabal’s men verified the character of David’s men:  “David’s men were very good to us and we never suffered any harm from them; in fact, day and night they were like a wall of protection to us and the sheep, and nothing was stolen from us the whole time they were with us.”

Now, Nabal is described in various versions of the Bible as being surly, mean, uncouth, churlish, stubborn, ill-mannered, harsh, evil in his doings, and dishonest. Read on and you’ll see why!

Nabal replied to David’s men, “Who is this guy David? Who is this son of Jesse?” (Saul had just acknowledged that David would be Israel’s next king!) Nabal continued, “Lots of servants these days have run away from their masters. Why should I take my bread and water and meat and give it to a gang of outlaws coming from who knows where?”

Imagine David’s surprise. His shock turned to insult. His sense of unfairness led to anger that led to a vow to take revenge that would lead to mass murder: David told his men, “Get your swords!” David strapped on his own sword and took 400 men and marched toward Nabal. David said, “He has paid me back evil for good. May God curse me if even one of Nabal’s household remains alive by 
tomorrow morning!”

Nabal’s wife, Abigail, is described in the Bible as intelligent, sensible, a woman of good understanding, and full of wisdom. (What a contrast to her husband Nabal!) She got word of David’s plan so she immediately set out to stop him and his men before they got to Nabal.

As she rode her donkey down a trail, she saw David riding toward her. She got down and bowed before David with her face to the ground. 

“Please don’t pay attention to what my husband said. He is a bad-tempered fool, just like his name means.” (In Hebrew Nabal means “fool.”) By her presence and her words, she tried to stop David 
from killing Nabal and his entire household. She said, “The Lord has kept you from murdering and taking vengeance into your own hands.” 

Abigail knew David still wanted to kill Nabal so she spoke a second time, “Let no wrongdoing be found in you.” 

Abigail must have sensed she still hadn’t convinced David so she tried a third time.

“When the Lord has made you king of Israel, you don’t want this to blemish your record. You don’t want on your conscience the staggering burden of being a murderer.” 

Finally, after three tries, Abigail persuaded David to change his plans. 

When he cooled off and came to his senses, he said, “Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you to me today! Blessed is your advice and blessed are you! Thank God, because you have kept me from murdering and carrying out vengeance.…  If you had not hurried out to meet me, not one of Nabal’s men would be alive tomorrow morning.” 


Who is your Abigail? Who persuaded you not to carry out a sinful act? Who urged you  to refrain from wrongdoing? Who begged you to think of your record, reputation, and future?  

Who helped you turn away from a particular sin and start living in a new, better way? 

Maybe, like Abigail, it took him or her two or three attempts, or more, but that persistence helped you choose right over wrong. 

Like David, have you acknowledged that God Himself sent that person to you? 

How is your life different today because of that person’s influence in your life?

Write your story! Someone needs it. 

How do you write about your family’s baggage?

Your family and mine include dysfunctional people. Parents, grandparents, great-grandparents—some carried out unhealthy practices and held offensive attitudes. 

And now our generation has skeletons in the closet. Every family has baggage.

You know—the enabler.

Or the one who should have protected you but didn’t.

The bully, the controller, the know-it-all.

The petty one always looking for ways to take offence and blame you.

Your grandfather might have been a wife-beater. 

Perhaps your father was quick to criticize and slow to praise. 

Maybe your mother was egotistical and self-absorbed. 

Your family tree might include a drunkard or abuser, a liar, murderer, adulterer, sex addict, drug addict, or thief.

Even Jesus’ genealogical chart shows ill-famed characters: Rahab was a prostitute and King Manasseh deliberately defied God, carried out evil, and led God’s people astray. 

Yes, your family, like every family, has lots of good people and a few flawed people, and those people have influenced you. 

Some of the dysfunctional ones have played major roles in your life. 

So how should you, a memoirist, write about your people and their baggage?

First, examine your motive. It is all-important! 

Hear this: Memoir is not about revenge.

Forbid yourself to use your memoir to shame people.

Refrain from humiliating anyone. 

Refuse to get even. 

Writing a memoir can bring much-needed healing to you, the writer, but focus on the right reason to write about your past. 

Writing can help break the cycle of hand-me-down hang-ups that crippled your family’s generations, but focus on the right reason to write about your past.

“God’s Word clearly expresses 

what a good and effective teacher the past can be. 

The past will be a good teacher 

if we will simply approach it as a good student, 

from the perspective of what we can gain 

and how God can use it for His glory.”

(Beth Moore, Breaking Free; emphasis mine)

Do everything you must to be at peace with God:

Recognize that like your parents and grandparents, you have made and will make mistakes in raising your children and relating to your grandchildren. 

Your malfunctions might be different from those of your parents or grandparents but, be assured, you have your own shortcomings and failures. 

Ask for God’s forgiveness. 

Accept His forgiveness. 

Allow God to wrap you in His grace and mercy. 

Wrapped in God’s grace and mercy—that’s where you find peace with God. 

That’s where you find God’s healing in your life. 

Then pass it on: In writing your memoir, extend to your ancestors the same forgiveness, grace, and mercy God extended to you.

Read the following slowly, and then read it again. Take in its message:

“Thank God that 

although you cannot change the past, 

He can help you change what you’re doing with it! 

And the changes He makes in you 

in the present 

can certainly change the future! 

Hallelujah! Our God reigns!” 

(Beth Moore, Breaking Free; emphasis mine)

Singing in the dark

Why have you suffered? Why has God not prevented harsh days? or miserable months? or gloom-filled years? 

In writing your memoir, are you asking such questions? Are you searching for answers to: "Can anything good come from darkness?"

Oswald Chambers writes, "Sometimes God puts us through the experience and discipline of darkness to teach us to hear and obey Him."

Ah, yes, sometimes God does things we humans don't understand at first. Have you ever asked God to help you hear Him? Obey Him? Then perhaps your troubles were leading you to God's answers. Could it be that your sorrows were necessary for you to hear and obey Him?

Chambers says, "God puts us into 'the shadow of His hand' until we learn to hear Him (Isaiah 49:2)."

Chambers has a special message for memoirists like you: "When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else once you are back in the light."

Read that again! 

"When you are in the dark, 

listen, 

and God will give you 

a very precious message for someone else 

once you are back in the light."

Chambers reminds us that "song birds are taught to sing in the dark," and so are we!

Jesus said, "What I tell you in the darkness, share with others when your daybreak appears. What I whisper into your murky shadows, shout from the rooftops when your sun rises" (Matthew 10:27).

What precious messages has God given you to share with others? 

What vignettes can you include in your memoir about God teaching you to hear Him in the dark, and to obey, and to even sing in the dark?   

Your stories are important. Someone needs to hear them. 

Make time to get started today, even if you jot down only a few words as a reminder to yourself for another day.