What is a memoir: Back to basics

Sometimes in the midst of writing our memoirs, we need to remind ourselves what a memoir is. This helps us focus correctly and work efficiently.

A memoir is so much more than spinning yarns and telling tales.

Since there’s some confusion about the genre of memoir, let’s pin down what it is not: Memoir is not journaling. A journal is private—for your eyes only—but you write a memoir for others to read.

A memoir is not an autobiography. An autobiography documents your life beginning with the day you were born, but a memoir focuses on one segment of your life—(1) a specific theme or (2) a time period, a slice of life.

We can write a memoir based on a theme—for example, the theme of working as a seamstress in Asia, or a food vender at Seattle’s Safeco Field, or a step-mother to six kids.  We focus on only that theme, leaving out other topics—such as the fact that we might be friends with Ben Zobrist (World Series MVP, in case you missed that last night) or met our future spouse at the local animal shelter.

Or we can write a memoir based on a time period. My memoir, Grandma’s Letters from Africa, covers a time period—my first four years in Africa. Another person’s time period might be his teenage years, the years following a spouse’s death, or service in the Peace Corps. We focus only on that slice of our lives and leave out other topics.

We include only those details that pertain to our chosen window of time or our memoir’s theme.

Personal reflection is a key ingredient in memoir. Remember that. Most of us need to work on understanding what reflection is because, as Richard Foster observes, “The sad truth is that many authors simply have never learned to reflect substantively on anything.”

So, memoirists reflect in a deliberate way:

We look back,

peel away layers,

excavate,

find the gems.

We dig them out in pieces if we must, but we dig them out.

We inspect,

examine those gems,

and ponder their deeper meaning.

We look for God’s fingerprints all over everything. 

We spend as much time as we need to make sense of what we discover.

We uncover the deeper, higher, wider, richer story.

In the past, we might have overlooked something of the utmost importance, so we make time to search for those profound lessons—insights, healing, blessings—that God inserted into the events of our lives.

In the process, we might need to do a “Doggie Head Tilt,” a phrase Michael Metzger coined. “If your head never tilts,” he says, “your mind never changes.” True!

Within reflecting, we answer these questions:

• What new things have I learned about myself as a result of the key events of my life?
• What new things did I learn about God? About significant people in my life?
• How have these discoveries made me into a different, better person?

Writing a spiritual memoir does not require that we have supernatural religious stories to write about, stories that would make the evening news and get tweeted around the world. Instead, we look for ways God was involved in our everyday lives.

We don’t have to write about God in every chapter of our memoirs. Whether we realized it at the time or not, He was with us, busy working out His good plans for His children—and from time to time in our stories we can spell out what He was doing. And let’s do so in a winsome way, rather than sounding holier-than-thou.

Jesus said,

“Go tell your family everything God has done for you”

(Luke 8:39).

That’s why we write our memoirs!

Tuesday Tidbit: The kind of memoir that sells

Do you dream of publishing your memoir?

If so, listen to Cec Murphey’s wise words:

“Autobiographies and memoirs

can be about ordinary people

if

they do out-of-the-ordinary things.”

Take 20 seconds to read the rest of Cec’s post, “What Kind of Autobiography or Memoir Sells?”

Tuesday Tidbit: Remember what a memoir is and is not

Here’s today’s 15 seconds of inspiration,

your Tuesday Tidbit:

Remember: Memoir is not autobiography!

A memoir doesn’t begin with

the date and place of your birth

or the names of your parents.

You don’t need to include facts about

preschool,

elementary school,

middle school,

high school,

college, or

grad school.

Details that a résumé requires

are non-compulsory in memoir.

Your memoir is a slice of your life.

Include only those details

that pertain to your slice, your memoir’s theme.

Your memoir: Are you sure that’s what you’re writing?

What is memoir?

Because I recently gave a talk about writing memoirs, I’ve been reviewing the definition of memoir.

It’s good to remind ourselves of such specifics from time to time.

So here we go!

When people sign up for my memoir classes, I often hear, “A memoir class! Terrific! I love journaling!”

Yes, sometimes people confuse writing a memoir with journaling, or with writing autobiography, so let’s distinguish between them.

Your journal is private, but you write a memoir for others to read.

An autobiography documents your entire life, starting with your birth, but memoir focuses on a segment of your life—a specific theme or time period—which you explore in depth. A memoir is merely a slice of life.

In other words, a person can write a memoir based on a theme: my life as a public school teacher in Miami, or as a linesman at Wimbledon. My memoir, Grandma’s Letters from Africa, covers a time period, my first four years in Africa.

Pondering, examining, unraveling, musing, and reflecting are necessary ingredients in a memoir.

Spiritual Memoirs 101’s theme is Deuteronomy 4:9, Always remember the things you’ve seen God do for you, and be sure to tell your children and grandchildren!

In writing a spiritual memoir, you’ll examine what God was doing as you see it now, in retrospect. You’ll look for deeper lessons God had for you in the events—mostly everyday events—of your life.

Look for God's fingerprints all over your life!

Looking back, how did certain events, experiences, or people change your life? What new perspectives did you gain? What new person did you become?

Who or what changed the direction of your life? Who or what impacted your choices in career, marriage partner, parenting style, and financial responsibility?

Who or what comforted you, warned you, charmed, redirected, inspired, guided, informed, challenged, or enlightened you?

What patterns in your faith did you discover that you hadn’t noticed before?

What did you learn about God?

Do you now have a better understanding of God’s purpose for your life?

How did the experience strengthen your faith for future challenges?

In summary, your stories will capture how you remember God’s activities in your life—they can be everyday events—and what you discovered about both God and yourself.

Dig deep. Tunnel down below the surface.

Maybe coincidences and chance encounters were much more—they were God in action: orchestrating, arranging, and shaping your life’s direction.

Include your thoughts—even your struggles—to understand what was going on. Write out your delights as well as your doubts. Ask questions even if you have no answers.

Mull over,

sift through,

analyze,

explore,

untangle,

sort out.

What was God doing as you see it now, in retrospect?

A memoir can be a few pages or book-length, but I suggest you start by writing a collection of vignettes or short chapters.

I hope to make it easy to begin writing your memoir. Here are a few tips:

• Start small: choose two or three occasions in which God acted on behalf of you or your family. For example, think back to turning points, answered prayer, decisions, or the happiest day of your life. For now, avoid traumatic or complicated stories; you’ll learn the craft of memoir more easily if you start with straightforward events.
• Do you need a story idea? Look through your Bible or a devotional for phrases you underlined and notes you jotted in the margin. Such notations can help you remember a significant situation in your life.
• While you write, ask yourself the above questions. Answers might not surface quickly but when they do, include them in your stories.
• Include humor. (See links below.) 
• Write rough drafts, three to five pages for each story. (You’ll revise your rough drafts a lot—everyone does—so don’t worry about perfecting them yet.) These will be chapters in your finished memoir. You can write stand-alone pieces or a series of related stories.
• Enjoy your writing!

 Writing your memoir is a grand undertaking!

Your stories will help shape the spiritual lives of your children,

grandchildren, great-grandchildren,

and anyone else who reads them (your “spiritual children”).

Your memoir could be the finest gift you’ll ever give,

so pray for God’s help!

Related posts:

God’s fingerprints

Make ‘em laugh

Like a sneak attack

Your personal timeline will help your memoir’s readers

Recently the mailman delivered Sharon Lippincott’s The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing: How to Transform Memories into Meaningful Stories.

I’ve underlined, highlighted, folded page corners, and scribbled in the margins. That’s the sign of a good book!

Among Sharon’s helpful tips is this little gem: She suggests creating a timeline to accompany your stories—a good idea, especially for a memoir. (Remember, there’s a difference between memoir and autobiography. Need a refresher on that? Check out What is Memoir below.*)

Think back: You have a good grasp of the order of your life’s events. Probably your kids do, too, but how about your grandchildren and great-grandchildren? Do (or will) they have a clear picture? Probably not.

Anything that confuses, clouds, or blurs will hinder your stories’ message and impact, so a timeline’s clarity is a valuable part of your memoir.

Recently we looked at various ways to structure your vignettes (chapters), and you’ll remember that they don’t have to be chronological.* If you arrange your vignettes in a non-chronological order, a timeline will be even more important for your readers.

How do you create a timeline?

Using a computer, or a pen and paper, make a table with two columns.

Under them, add one row for every year of your life. In the first row’s left column, write the year you were born. Beneath that, fill in the date of your second year; below that the date of your third year of life, and so on.

In the right column beside each date, list major events of that year. Sharon says, “I add just enough detail in the entry to give a general sense of the event without going into the story.”

Here’s how the first six years of a timeline might look:

Sharon says, “… It isn’t easy remembering what happened in a given year, or which year specific things happened. You may have to settle for approximate dates and general periods. Dig through your files, talk to relatives and do other research.”

A timeline “gives readers an overview of your life,” Sharon says, “and helps them understand story events in the context of your life.”

Be sure to come back Saturday for an exciting idea for you and your memoir—a spinoff from Sharon’s timeline idea—that provides you with bonuses you won’t want to miss!

For now, have fun starting a rough draft of your timeline. See you Saturday!

In my blog’s right column,

you will find a link to one of Sharon’s blogs,

The Heart and Craft of Life Writing.

Sharon’s book is a good resource. Be sure to look into The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing: How to Transform Memories into Meaningful Stories, at this Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Heart-Craft-Lifestory-Writing-Meaningful/dp/0979299802/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1317158804&sr=1-1

*Related posts:

Your memoir’s structure: think of it as a helper, http://spiritualmemoirs101.blogspot.com/2011/09/your-memoirs-structure-think-of-it-as.html

What is a memoir, http://spiritualmemoirs101.blogspot.com/2011/04/what-is-memoir.html

What is a memoir?

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When people sign up for my memoir classes, I often hear, “A memoir class! Terrific! I love journaling!”

Yes, sometimes people confuse writing a memoir with journaling, or with writing autobiography, so let’s distinguish between them.

Your journal is private, but you write a memoir for others to read.

An autobiography documents your entire life, starting with your birth, but memoir focuses on a segment of your life—a specific theme or time period—which you explore in depth.

In other words, a person can write a memoir based on a theme: coaching high school tennis, for example, or working as a bush pilot in Alaska. My memoir, Grandma's Letters from Africa, covers a time period, my first four years in Africa.

Spiritual Memoirs 101’s theme is Deuteronomy 4:9, Always remember the things you’ve seen God do for you, and be sure to tell your children and grandchildren!

Pondering, examining, unraveling, musing, and reflecting are necessary ingredients in memoirs. In the writing process, you will examine what God was doing as you see it now, in retrospect. You’ll look for deeper lessons God had for you in the events of your life.

Looking back, what did you learn about yourself?

What patterns in your faith did you discover that you hadn’t noticed before?

What did you learn about God?

Do you now have a better understanding of God’s purpose for your life?

How did the experience change your life? What new person did you become?

How did the experience strengthen your faith for future challenges?

In summary, your stories will capture how you remember God’s activities in your life and what you discovered about both God and yourself.

A memoir can be a few pages or book-length. I suggest you start by writing a collection of vignettes or short chapters.

In coming weeks, we’ll examine memoir from a number of perspectives, but for now, here’s …

This week’s assignment:

• Start small: choose two or three occasions in which God acted on behalf of you or your family. For example, think back to turning points, answered prayer, decisions, or the happiest day of your life. For now, avoid traumatic or complicated stories; you’ll learn the craft of memoir more easily if you start with straightforward events.

• Do you need a story idea? Look through your Bible or a devotional for words you underlined and notes you jotted in the margin. Such notations can help you remember a significant situation in your life.

• While you write, ask yourself the above questions. Answers might not surface quickly but when they do, include them in your stories.

• Write rough drafts, three to five pages for each story. Include pertinent Bible verses. (You’ll revise your rough drafts a lot—everyone does—so don’t worry about perfecting them yet.) These will be chapters in your finished memoir. You can write stand-alone pieces or a series of related stories.

• Enjoy your writing!

Be sure to come back next week. I’m eager to tell you more about this grand undertaking—your memoir!

Your stories will help shape the spiritual lives of your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and anyone else who reads them (your “spiritual children”).

Your memoir could be the finest gift you’ll ever give, so pray for God’s help!