Don’t start writing your memoir until. . .

 “Do you love?” asks Beth Kephart. “Are you still learning to love?”

 

“It’s a question . . . we must repeatedly ask ourselves, especially when we’re writing memoir.” (Handling the Truth: On the Writing of Memoir)

 

Beth, award-winning author of 23 books, including several memoirs, says:

• if we don’t know what we love,
• if we’re not capable of loving,
• if we’re focused too much on self (“if we’re stuck in a stingy, fisted-up place”),
• if we’re too angry,
• if we haven’t allowed grace to take the edge off disappointments,
• if “we haven’t stopped hurting long enough to look up and see the others who hurt with us,”
• if we “only have words . . . for our mighty wounds and our percolating scars,”
• . . . then it’s likely too soon to begin writing a memoir.

 

Beth says, “No memoir is worth reading if it is not leavened with beauty and love. And no memoirist should start her work until she can, with authority, write about the things she loves.”

 

She offers this starting point:

 

Make a list of little things that bring you happiness, those things that embrace beauty and goodness and love.

 

Beth’s not suggesting

you cover up your sorrows and wounds.

 

She says,

 

“Rest assured

you’ll be given a chance to tell the whole story soon.

But start, for now, with love.”

 

Read that again:

 

Beth’s not suggesting you cover up

your sorrows and wounds.

 

“Rest assured you’ll be given a chance

to tell the whole story. . . .

But start, for now, with love.”

 

Beth’s suggestion reminds me of Philippians 4:8, “Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.” (The Living Bible)

 

The Message says it this way: “You’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”

 

Eventually, you’ll likely include many types of vignettes/anecdotes in your memoir—adventure stories, sad stories, funny stories, heartbreaking stories, heartwarming stories.

 

By incorporating Beth’s suggestions,

by including love and gratitude,

writing your God-and-you stories

is a way to extend grace and mercy to others,

as well as to thank Him for all He has done for you.

 

Beth’s Handling the Truth: On the Writing of Memoir is a rich resource for you. Consider adding it to your library.

 

Come back next week: We’ll look at how to write about baggage-carrying people. 

Don’t start writing your memoir until. . . .

“Do you love?” asks Beth Kephart in Handling the Truth: On the Writing of Memoir. “Are you still learning to love?”

“It’s a question . . . we must repeatedly ask ourselves, especially when we’re writing memoir.”

Beth, an award-winning author of 23 books, including several memoirs, says that if we don’t know what we love,

if we’re not capable of loving,

if we’re focused too much on self (“if we’re stuck in a stingy, fisted-up place”),

if we’re too angry,

if we haven’t allowed grace to take the edge off disappointments,

if “we haven’t stopped hurting long enough to look up and see the others who hurt with us,”

if we “only have words . . . for our mighty wounds and our percolating scars,”

then it’s likely too soon to begin writing a memoir.

Instead, Beth offers this starting point:

Make a list of little things that bring you happiness, those things that embrace beauty and goodness and love.

Beth’s not suggesting you cover up your sorrows and wounds.

She advises, “Rest assured you’ll be given a chance to tell the whole story soon. But start, for now, with love.”

Her suggestion reminds me of Philippians 4:8, “Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.” (The Living Bible)

The Message says it this way: “. . . You’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”

You’ll no doubt include many kinds of stories in your memoir—adventure stories, sad stories, funny stories, heartbreaking stories, heartwarming stories.

By incorporating Beth’s suggestions in each of them,

by including love and gratitude,

writing your God-and-you stories

is a way to thank Him for all He has done for you.

Beth’s Handling the Truth: On the Writing of Memoir is an excellent, rich resource for you. Consider adding it to your library. And check out her new website, Beth Kephart Books. 

Tuesday Tidbit: Celebrate God’s grace upon grace

Make time to remember:  

• God’s blessings, one after another,
• His favor,
• His grace on your behalf,
• His mercy,
• and gifts,
• heaped upon you—all because of the abundance of God’s grace.

And when you have remembered, write them into your memoir. Create a memoir that's a celebration of God!

Tuesday Tidbit: Praise and Thanksgiving

Write your memoir to carry out these verses: 

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!

His faithful love endures forever.

Who can list all the great things He has done?

Who can ever praise Him half enough?

Psalm 106:1-2

On giving thanks: A remedy if you find yourself among the nine

If you find yourself among “the nine,” you can become “the one” by writing your memoir.

Confused? Read on.

On his way to Jerusalem, Jesus crossed paths with ten lepers—despised, cut off from society and loved ones, lonely, suffering, and desperate for healing.

They cried to him, “Have mercy on us!”

And he did. He healed them.

Then they all took off—we can imagine their joy!—but one man turned around, fell on his knees, and said thank you.

No doubt the man’s gratitude touched Jesus’ heart, but he couldn’t help but wonder, aloud, “Ten men were healed. Where are the nine others? Where is their thanks?”

Jesus seemed hurt, disappointed, maybe even stunned by their ingratitude.

Ouch!

How many times have you and I failed to thank God for what He has done for us? So often, when we get through something difficult or scary, we simply wheeze, “Whew!” and get on with life. Where’s our gratitude?

Could it be that we crush God’s heart when we fail to thank Him? That He’s disappointed at our ingratitude? Maybe even stunned?

Don’t be “one of the nine.” Be “the one” who deliberately says thanks.

How?

By writing your memoir. Write it as a book full of falling on your knees in gratitude.

Your memoir can include all kinds of interesting, entertaining, humorous, and even wild and crazy stories about everyday stuff—

childhood escapades,

dating,

friendship,

family times,

schooling,

athletics,

adventures,

travel,

falling in love,

raising kids,

homemaking,

careers,

finances,

hobbies,

ministries,

practical jokes,

health (or poor health),

setbacks,

surprises,

death of loved ones,

answered prayers,

—and in all those stories, you can include gratitude and thanksgiving to God.

So, gather your memories and write your stories!

Tuesday Tidbit: Remembering and thanking

This past week we all focused on 

the many reasons we have to give thanks, 

so think about this:

Writing your God-and-you stories 

is one way to thank Him 

for all He has done for you and your family.

Extend and expand your gratitude:

Write your stories!

A remedy if you find yourself among the nine

If you find yourself among “the nine,” you can become “the one” by writing your memoir. Confused? Read on.…

On his way to Jerusalem, Jesus crossed paths with ten lepers—despised, cut off from society and their loved ones, lonely, suffering, and desperate for healing.

They cried out to Jesus, “Have mercy on us!”

And he did. He healed them.

Then they all took off—we can only imagine their joy!—but one man turned around, fell on his knees, and praised God in profound gratitude for being healed of his leprosy.

No doubt Jesus’ heart was moved by the man’s gratitude, but he couldn’t help but wonder, aloud: “Ten men were healed. Where are the nine others? Where is their thanks?”

Jesus seems hurt, disappointed, maybe even stunned, by their ingratitude.

Ouch!

How many times have you and I failed to thank God for what He has done for us? So often, when we get through something difficult or scary, we just wheeze, “Whew!” and get on with life. Where’s our gratitude?

Could it be that God is crushed when we fail to thank Him? Hurt? Disappointed in our ingratitude? Maybe even stunned?

Don’t be “one of the nine!” Be the one who made an effort to thank and praise God!

How?

This is where writing your memoir comes in! Write your memoir as a book full of falling on your knees in praise and profound gratitude toward God.

Your memoir can include all kinds of interesting, entertaining, even humorous stories about everyday stuff—

childhood escapades,

dating,

friendships,

family times,

schooling,

adventure,

travel,

falling in love,

homemaking,

raising kids,

careers,

finances,

hobbies,

ministries,

health (or poor health),

setbacks,

surprises,

death of loved ones,

and all of those stories can include gratitude and thanksgiving to God.

So gather up your memories and write your stories!

Related posts:

Gathering up your memories

You Must Be Very Careful

Remember!

Don’t forget your memories

How can you retrieve your memories? 

Humor: Cry, laugh, wait  

Humor: “Like a sneak attack”