“Do you love?” asks Beth Kephart in Handling the Truth: On the Writing of Memoir. “Are you still learning to love?”
“It’s a question . . . we must repeatedly ask ourselves, especially when we’re writing memoir.”
Beth, an award-winning author of 23 books, including several memoirs, says that if we don’t know what we love,
if we’re not capable of loving,
if we’re focused too much on self (“if we’re stuck in a stingy, fisted-up place”),
if we’re too angry,
if we haven’t allowed grace to take the edge off disappointments,
if “we haven’t stopped hurting long enough to look up and see the others who hurt with us,”
if we “only have words . . . for our mighty wounds and our percolating scars,”
then it’s likely too soon to begin writing a memoir.
Instead, Beth offers this starting point:
Make a list of little things that bring you happiness, those things that embrace beauty and goodness and love.
Beth’s not suggesting you cover up your sorrows and wounds.
She advises, “Rest assured you’ll be given a chance to tell the whole story soon. But start, for now, with love.”
Her suggestion reminds me of Philippians 4:8, “Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.” (The Living Bible)
The Message says it this way: “. . . You’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”
You’ll no doubt include many kinds of stories in your memoir—adventure stories, sad stories, funny stories, heartbreaking stories, heartwarming stories.
By incorporating Beth’s suggestions in each of them,
by including love and gratitude,
writing your God-and-you stories
is a way to thank Him for all He has done for you.
Beth’s Handling the Truth: On the Writing of Memoir is an excellent, rich resource for you. Consider adding it to your library. And check out her new website, Beth Kephart Books.
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