Memoirist Jessica Cherie Errico: When there’s a gap where love should be

We read books to find ways to fill the gaps we have in our hearts and minds and souls.

 

We look for stories by those  

who have journeyed down life’s road ahead of us.

Why?

Because we can catch a glimpse of ourselves

in other people’s stories,

and by their example and their words,

they offer us answers, guidance, and inspiration.

 

With that in mind, I’m pleased to recommend Jessica Cherie Errico’s memoir, The Mother Gap: A Daughter’s Search for Connection, the story of her longing for a close relationship with her alcoholic mother.

 

“When a daughter feels disconnected from her mother, her heart hurts. There is an empty spot, a gap, where love should be. Her heart cries out, ‘Mom, I need you! . . . Aren’t I good enough?’”

 

Perhaps you know Jessica’s pain, you know what it’s like to feel a disconnect with your mother—or father. Or maybe you know others who suffer such pain. Reverend Roland Coffee writes that The Mother Gap “. . . should help anyone struggling with  memories of the lack of parental love.”

 

Jessica says, “Because of God’s forgiveness in my life, I have learned to extend forgiveness to those who’ve hurt me.”

 

She saw how bitterness consumed her mother and says, “I realized I didn’t want that for my life. . . . I had been accumulating her pain in my heart and . . . I needed to be free of that, so God showed me how to be willing to forgive her.

 

“I wanted to share that with others because many women have conflicts with their moms or other close relatives. We’re all in the process of learning how to forgive and let go.”

 

One reviewer of Jessica’s memoir said that her “moving transparent story . . . awakened buried pain” of her childhood relationship with her own parents and helped her to see them in a new light. “My heightened forgiveness of both of them has freed me to shine my light for Jesus much brighter now. This was an excellent healing balm for me.”

Another reviewer wrote: “Jessica’s story about her troubled relationship with her mother is written openly and honestly. It can help anyone suffering with . . . a handicapped relationship. . . . Jessica does not skip over the difficulties or the pain, but openly confesses that it is by the power of God that such a turn-about and personal growth can be experienced.”

 

Another reviewer wrote: “Thank you, Jessica, for opening my eyes to my own mom’s experience. In reading this beautiful testimony of love and forgiveness, I was helped to resolve the residual pain in my own heart!”

As Joe Rigney writes, "Stories are powerful. Stories are soul food. . . . and they can help us in soul care.

 

“Stories can help us gain perspective, to step outside of our own lives in order to reflect on reality. Stories can point us to The Story, so that we can find ourselves in God’s narrative when we’re lost and adrift.

 

“Stories can direct us to the truth, helping us to remember and to connect with God and with each other.

 

“And stories can direct us to action, to remind us of God’s call upon us, so that we might walk in the light as he is in the light” (Joe Rigney, “Weep, But Also Rejoice”).

 

I encourage you to read and share The Mother Gap: A Daughter’s Search for Connection. Within its pages you’ll find rich blessings for yourself and your family members—because all of us have gaps, those empty spots where love should be.

 

 

Jessica’s words and heart

have blessed us already so much today,

but here’s more!

Here are a couple of bonuses for you:

 

Click on Forgiveness Heals Relationships to watch her interview with Lisa Buldo.

Click on Forgiveness and Connection: The Search, to watch Jessica’s interview with Dr. Sheila Sapp. 

Come back next week for Jessica’s special message

for those writing their own memoirs.

 

Jessica Errico is an artist and author. She’s published four books, several articles, and writes a bi-monthly column for the Religion Section of her local newspaper. Visit her website, Jessica  Cherie Errico: Author/Artist,  as well as her blog of the same name.

 

Jessica’s vignette for Mother’s Day: An Unusual Keepsake

Continuing with our Mother’s Day vignettes

here is “An Unusual Keepsake” by Jessica Cherie Errico.

You’ll also enjoy Jess’s two blogs, Jewels for the Journey 

and Mother Daughter Tango.

If you missed the first in our Mother’s Day series,

click here to read Ellie O’Malley’s

“Mom’s First, (and Last), Sled Ride,”

and our second in the series,

Julie Miller’s “Good Direction.”

An Unusual Keepsake

by Jessica Cherie Errico

Keepsakes come in all shapes and sizes. Some sparkle with market value, others appear ordinary and hardly worth a moment's notice. But don't dismiss an "everyday" heirloom too quickly, for its legacy may be priceless!

As I lift the hope chest lid and survey the cherished items carefully packed within, one object in particular stands out. Once shiny, it is dulled by use. The rounded dome is still sturdy and its perforations form a fanciful pattern. This is the aluminum colander my mother passed on to me when I ventured out into the world over a quarter-century ago.

Since then, how many cans of tuna fish have been drained by its capable bowl? Surely thousands of servings of pasta have been prepared with its straining effect. Fruit salads and kidney bean salads have been lovingly prepared with its aid. Children have been nourished and my sweet husband blessed with the use of this colander.

Turning it over in my hands, I observe its sturdy form and my fingers trace some random dimples in the metal. These evidences of hard use murmur to me of surviving in a complex world. Just as the colander drained away impurities and unwanted oil, so too, my mother survived loneliness and disappointment, cancer and osteoporosis, only to forge ahead with a smile.

Bound up in this keepsake are her examples of endurance and a positive attitude, characteristics I've put to the test and have proven to sustain me. How grateful I am for the gift of Mother's colander, and the courage and perseverance it represents. As I pass it to my daughter for use in her kitchen, may the inevitable trials of life be strained away to reveal the same joy and strength of those who used it before her. Bon apetit!

copyright © 2012 Jessica Cherie Errico

“The Story Woman,” Lynn Henriksen, encourages sons and daughters to write compelling stories about their mothers and, if interested, to submit them to her.

Recently she published TellTale Souls Writing the Mother Memoir, a writing guide that also includes 40 bio-vignettes submitted to her by people just like you.

Interested? Click here to read Lynn’s blog post, How The Mother Memoir Came To Life. 

Also click here to read Sharon Lippincott’s related blog post, Mother Memoir.