Tuesday Tidbit: Buechner on what’s going on in our lives

Watch for God's fingerprints, His footprints.

“It is absolutely crucial…

to keep in constant touch with

what is going on in your own life’s story

and to pay close attention to what is going on

in the stories of others’ lives.

If God is present anywhere,

it is in those stories that God is present.”

Frederick Buechner

originally published in Whistling in the Dark 

and later in Beyond Words

There you  have it, your Tuesday Tidbit, 

your 15 seconds of inspiration. 

But what a lot of punch Buechner packed into those 15 seconds!

Give muscle to your memoir's ending

Your memoir's ending needs to have muscle. Impact. That's the "A-ha!" part.

How will you conclude your memoir? What will your ending be?

Grasp at least a general idea of your ending while you're writing your rough draft so you can aim for a specific conclusion. (If you missed last Thursday's blog post, click here.)

Write an ending "elegantly crafted that does not end with 'and as you can see, "all things work together for the good."'" (Cindy Blomquist, Women of the Harvest)

Keep in mind the definition of a spiritual memoir:

• Writing a memoir involves pondering, unraveling, examining, reflecting.
• Looking back, what did you learn from your experience?
• What did you learn about yourself?
• After connecting the dots, what patterns (repetitions) did you discover in your thinking, relationships, and faith that you hadn't noticed before?
• What new person did you become? 
• As you see it now, what did you learn about God?
• In retrospect, what do you now see that God was doing?
• What deeper lessons did God have for you in the experience(s)?
• Do you now have a better understanding of God's purpose for your life?
• How was your faith strengthened for the future?
• Include Bible verses that illustrate and validate your experience/life.

Sum up principles you've learned.

Keep in mind that

people long to discover universal truths,

transforming truths,

spiritual truths,

underlying truths,

relevant truths.

Your readers long to discover them

in your life's stories

so they can apply them to their own lives.

Your goal is to write a compelling, satisfying end that gives readers hope, courage, faith, tenacity, and inspiration for living.

In your ending, tell your readers:

• This is how far I came,
• this is how I got there,
• this is how I overcame obstacles.
• I am now a new person.
• This is the most important lesson I want to leave with you.

Phrases you might include:

• I didn't recognize it at the time, but...
• Though I didn't understand it forty years ago, now I see that...
• Neither I nor they understood why it was happening, but... 
• It occurs to me now that...
• It took me many years to realize that...
• Over the years I've come to accept...
• Years later I discovered....

How do you want readers to feel when they finish reading your memoir?

How do you want them to think as a result of reading your memoir?

What do you want them to do, how do you want them to live, because they read your memoir?

Write your memoir not because you're so great,

but because of who God is.

“Questions we have to ask ourselves…as we write”

Here's your 15 seconds of inspiration,

your Tuesday Tidbit:

"What is it that makes a piece of writing

larger than its immediate story?

What is the inner purpose,

what connects this story

to something larger 

than the family being written about?

What is the compelling reason

for people to read this memoir?

Why are you writing it?

These are the questions

we have to ask ourselves

over and over

as we write."

Barbara Abercrombie

Do you know how your memoir will end? (Part one)

While you write your memoir, keep in mind where you’re heading: Build toward your ending.

But wait! Do you know how your memoir will end?

I beg of you, don’t settle for an anemic, trite “And they lived happily ever after.”

The beauty of memoir is that we write much more than just events and details. We uncover a story larger than the story on the surface.

We excavate a story deeper and higher and wider than the immediate story.

We dig it out—in pieces if we must—but we dig it out.

Dig until you find your gems, the gold, the silver.

That takes time and commitment and tenacity.

Don’t give up!

(Take a minute to read Dig it out, in pieces if you must.)

You have probably already written some of your stories/vignettes—that’s the easy part!—stories like:

• How did you rise above obstacles?
• Who did God use to show you what grace looks like?
• What did God do to heal emotional scars?
• Who did He bring into your life to turn you in the right direction?
• What unexpected opportunities did God offer you?
• What was the saddest day of your life?
• What was the happiest day of your life?
• What was the scariest thing you’ve ever had to do?
• What was the bravest thing you’ve ever done?
• What event or person helped you take off blinders and see yourself in a new and better way?
• Who/what opened your mind and heart to new worlds (emotional, spiritual, mental, physical)?
• Who showed you what forgiveness looks like?
• Who took a risk and trusted you?
• Who did God send to demonstrate how to parent your kids?
• Who gave you a second chance?
• Who did God send to help you believe in Him? Trust Him? Enjoy Him?

Set aside time to ponder and examine and pray about what God wants you to discover deep down in your life’s events.  Uncover the story that’s deeper and higher and wider than the surface story. Give yourself all the time you need.

As you aim toward your memoir’s ending, ask yourself: What principles, what life lessons do your stories illustrate?

What universal truths—or themes—come to light in your stories?

• Do your stories illustrate the importance of honesty, integrity, grace?
• Faithfulness to God and marriage?
• Helping the poor and sick?
• Choosing courage over fear?
• Resilience instead of giving up?
• Forgiveness instead of bitterness?
• Mercy instead of revenge?
• ...and so on.

What attributes of God shine from your stories? For example:

• His patience,
• forgiveness,
• unconditional love,
• omnipotence,
• wisdom,
• gentleness,
• faithfulness,
• holiness,
• and so on.

What Bible verse or phrase captures the point of your memoir? Here are a few suggestions:

• …a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair (Isaiah 61:3, NIV)
• His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9)  
• Joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5)
• When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. (Isaiah 43:2, LB)
• The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercy never comes to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV)
• My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart. (Psalm 73:26, NIV)

Is there a quotation that embraces your memoir’s overall message? Here are a few suggestions:

• “Never believe that so-called random events of life are anything less than God’s appointed order. Be ready to discover His divine designs anywhere and everywhere.” C. S. Lewis
• “It is often in our darkest hour that the light of God’s presence shines the brightest.” Stacy L. Sanchez
• “The very circumstances which were meant to break Joseph’s faith in [God’s] promises were actually the events setting up their fulfillment.” David Ramos
• “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” C.S. Lewis
• “Believe me, the reward is not so great without the struggle.” Wilma Rudolph at God-sized Dreams 

 People long to discover universal truths, 

transforming truths, 

spiritual truths, 

underlying truths, 

relevant truths. 

Your readers long 

to discover them in your life’s stories 

so they can apply them to their own lives.

Once you can pinpoint them, you’ll have at least a vague idea of where you’re heading with your memoir—how you want to conclude it.

For now, get started on the above. 

Next Thursday, 

come back for 

Do you know how your memoir will end? (Part two).

Tidbit: Facing “the desolate impossibility of writing”

Here's your Tuesday Tidbit,

your 15 seconds of inspiration:

Your stories are important.

Keep writing.

"...One page and then another."

Dig out the gems, in pieces if you must

When you write a memoir, you record more than the details of what happened.

You peel back layers,

            uncover,

                        dig deep,

                                    excavate.

You mine gems buried under your life’s layers.

You get out a magnifying glass and hunt down the inner, more significant story.

Examine,

            scrutinize,

                        study,

                                    investigate,

                                                inspect,

                                                            analyze.

Search for ways your experience changed you and made you who you are today. You might find answers to questions that eluded you in the past—or maybe you’ll make peace with questions that still have no answers.

Search for lessons you learned, for patterns (positive or negative) you recognize now, looking back.

Mining those gems can hurt. Have you ever watched Prospectors on The Weather Channel? 

The digging can scrape skin off your knuckles and break your nails and leave dirt between your fingers.

But the discovered treasures—priceless! Priceless in mining, priceless in memoir-writing.

Unearth things about yourself, and others,

that you hadn’t realized before.

Sometimes the discoveries sting,

but they can also shape and mature you

and send you down better paths

and strengthen your faith

for all that comes your way in the future.

Sometimes you unearth blessings you overlooked before,

the ways God was walking alongside you,

closing some doors and opening others—

even if you couldn’t detect it at the time.

Recognize the people He sent to cheer you on,

a job to pay the bills,

a doctor to diagnose your illness,

a Bible study, a church, a friend,

a scholarship, a car, a repairman, a song,

a professor who believed in you, a fireman.

A grandparent who prayed for you.

Look over the vignettes/chapters you’ve already written. Within each one, ponder, meditate, piece together:

• What did you learn the hard way?
• What do you know now that you didn’t then?
• What new people did you meet—people who changed your life? Maybe for better, maybe for worse.
• How was God involved? Include relevant Bible verses.
• What wisdom did you gain from the experience?
• What joy resulted from the experience?
• What would you do differently if you could go back and do it again?
• What (or who) would you have missed without that event?
• How did the event make you a better person?

So excavate, burrow down, plow, rake, till, sift through the soil of your life.

Dig out those gems—

in pieces if you must—

but dig them out!

Tuesday Tidbit: Sounds, rhythms, and fragrances

Here's your 15 seconds of inspiration, your Tuesday Tidbit:

Look over your rough drafts and study your vignettes' settings: 

• Have you written so readers will get a sense of place?
• Have you included the words—the lingo, the vocabulary—of that region?
• Have you captured the place's philosophy? Include that if it's relevant to your story.
• Have you included the area's passions and culture—those unique activities or beliefs or traditions that characterize the place?

Take time—make time—to recognize the "sounds and rhythms and fragrances" (L.L. Barkat) of those places and write them into your vignettes.

And have fun!