Back to Basics: Have you thought about writing an essay-type memoir?

 

The memoir you want to write will be packed with rich material for your family, friends, and maybe even strangers—after all, your story is important—

 

but to impact readers,

you must help them understand your story—

even  more than that,

you want them to enjoy and benefit from reading your story.

 

That’s why you need to structure—to arrange—your memoir carefully.

 

Richard Gilbert writes that memoirists must “focus not just on the story they want to tell but on how best to present it.”

 

Charlotte Rains Dixon explains the importance of structure this way:

 

“A piece of creative writing without structure

is like bread without yeast. Or a pen without ink.

Or coffee without caffeine in it.

 

“Picture a clothesline with a string between the two poles

all loose and wavy. No way can you hang clothes on it.

Now think of that same string as pulled taut,

and it accepts your shirts and shorts and underwear just fine.

Structure allows your [story’s] scenes

and characters and plot points to hang on.

Otherwise, they are just dangling in the wind.”

 

Last week we began looking at how to structure your memoir. (Click on Are you paralyzed by the thought of writing your memoir?) We looked at one option—arranging it chronologically.

 

But not all memoirists write their stories chronologically. Today let’s look at writing an essay-style memoir—a compilation of stand-alone essays.

 

For an essay-type memoir, you could use a poem to establish your structure.

 

While you read the poem below, notice: Each line could be a separate chapter in which you tell readers what you’ve experienced or what you’ve watched someone else do, and how you, the memoirist, changed as a result:

 

“If: A Father’s Advice to His Son”

 

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

 

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings,

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor living friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

(Rudyard Kipling)

 

A poem like Kipling’s could provide you with an effective framework—and result in a powerful memoir.

 

Here’s another idea for writing an essay-type memoir: Choose a Bible passage as your structure. For example, each of the Beatitudes could serve as the topic of one chapter:

 

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

(Matthew 5:3-10)

 

Using each Beatitude as a chapter, you can write accounts that illustrate (a) what the Beatitude means and (b) how to live it out in everyday life—chapters about your own experience or about something you’ve witnessed in others.

 

For example, for the first Beatitude, define “blessed.” Explain what Jesus meant by “poor in spirit.” Then write about your own experience of living a poor-in-spirit life—or about someone else who lived such a life, a person who served as a role model for you.

 

Next, define what Jesus meant by “kingdom of heaven” and show what that looks like in the lives of those who are poor in spirit. And then, in good memoir form, conclude by explaining how living according to that verse shaped you into a different person.

 

And then begin writing about the second beatitude. If you continue writing, using the rest of those verses as chapter titles, you can write a whole memoir!

 

 

A good structure can be your friend, your helper.

 

It holds your story together.

 

And it helps readers embrace your messages and lessons.

 

Jon Franklin points out that your memoir, like all quality stories, can teach readers:  “. . . The deeper satisfaction comes when the reader learns with the character [that’s you, the writer]. The reader, like the character, thus becomes a better and wiser person.” (Writing for Story)

 

And that’s what you want, right?

 

Dedicate time to choosing a good structure for your memoir.

Your readers will thank you.

 

How can you hand your readers a coherent, organized story?

If you’re in the beginning stages of writing your memoir, now is a good time to think about how you will structure it—that is, how will you organize it?

Before we continue, click here to review the definition of memoir. A memoir focuses on a segment of your life—a specific time period or theme. 

If you choose a time period for your memoir, you’ll probably use a chronological format. (More on this in a future blog post.)

But if you’re basing your memoir on a theme, you’re writing a collection of stories pertaining to that theme. (See our recent post, Must-know info about your theme, by clicking on that link.)

You might base your theme on a Bible passage or a poem that means a lot to you. In that case, you’re writing vignettes (stories, chapters) to illustrate key phrases within that passage.

For example, you could use this Thomas à Kempis prayer as an outline—as a structure or framework for your memoir:

Give us, O Lord, steadfast hearts

that cannot be dragged down by false loves;

give us courageous hearts

that cannot be worn down by trouble;

give us righteous hearts

that cannot be sidetracked

by unholy or unworthy goals.

Give to us also, our Lord and God,

understanding to know You,

diligence to look for You,

wisdom to recognize You,

and a faithfulness

that will bring us to see You

face to face.

      Thomas à Kempis

If you were to use that prayer, you’d have your structure pinned down from the get-go.

• For example, our first vignette/chapter would illustrate something you experienced—or watched someone else experience—about maintaining a steadfast heart and refusing to be pulled down by “false loves” (which could take many forms). Be sure to include specific the ways “false loves” presented themselves and how you fought to remain steadfast.
• Your second vignette/chapter would illustrate something you experienced or witnessed about living with courage despite enduring ongoing troubles. Be specific about those ongoing troubles about how they threatened to break the person. And tell the story of choices made to defy fear and choose courage.
•  Continue through each phrase of the prayer, using examples of personal experiences or those you witnessed in other people.

Another example might be If by Rudyard Kipling:

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor walk too wise. . . .

Don’t miss the rest of Kipling’s poem—it’s so inspiring! Read the rest of it by clicking here.

And, just like the example above, use each phrase of the poem to write a vignette/chapter about personal experiences, or those you witnessed in other people, to illustrate the validity and power of each. What a powerful memoir that would be to inspire and guide others!

Your goal is to hand your readers a coherent, organized, satisfying story. Your memoir’s structure can play a big role in making that happen.

Come back next time for more help on structuring your memoir.