What have you done with your regrets?

 

We can’t go back and undo bad decisions and failures but, if we’re wise, we learned from them and made positive changes.

 

And here’s good news: Your memoir can help others deal with both success and with failure.

 

That means it’s important to write stories about getting life right and blowing it, about succeeding and falling short.

 

 

If we share our stories, maybe our kids, grandkids,

and great-grands

won’t make the same mistakes.

Your story is important.

 

Someone once asked on Facebook, “What do you regret?” The question got some lighthearted and groan-worthy replies:

 

Cooking with margarine

Using artificial sweeteners

That perm I got in the ‘70s

That orange body suit

EVERYTHING about high school

Reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull and thinking it was profound

 

It’s good—valuable, recommended—to include funny, entertaining stuff. Humor connects you and your readers. It endears you to them and makes them keep reading. (More on humor in future blog posts.)

 

So include some humor, but don’t stop there.

Write your way into more consequential failures.

 

Think back: What do you regret?

 

• Maybe you lament getting into a bad habit or addiction.
• Or losing contact with a friend or relative.
• Not saying “I love you” often enough.
• Spending too much time on your career and not enough time with your children.
• Family feuds.
• Telling a lie.
• Cheating.
• Hating someone.
• Abusing someone.

 

Such things hurt, don’t they? Sometimes painful regrets can endure for years.

 

But I have more good news. . . .

 

One of the beauties of writing a memoir is the pondering, examining, and reflecting it requires. The process can prompt us to ask God and others for forgiveness and to turn our lives in a different direction.

 

And it gets even better:

 

“That God still chooses to use us flawed human beings

is both astonishing and encouraging.”

(Richard Stearns)

 

Yes, God can and does use us, flawed as we are:

By telling our stories,

 those who come after us can learn from our mistakes

and gain wisdom for living life well—

 

but only if they know our stories.

 

So we’re back to this question: What do you regret?

 

• What was God doing in the event, as you see it now, in retrospect?
• What deeper lessons did God have for you in the experience?
• What did you learn about yourself?
• What did you learn about God? His forgiveness?
• How did the experience change your life? What new person did you become?

 

What stories can you write about doing things differently in the future? About getting a second chance? About making a new start?

 

Never doubt this: Your story is important.

“For God to use your painful experiences,

you must be willing to share them with others.

You have to stop covering them up,

and you must honestly admit your faults,

failures, and fears.

Doing this will probably be your most effective ministry.

People are always more encouraged when we

share how God's grace helped us in weakness

than when we brag about our strengths.”

(Pastor Rick Warren, Facebook, November 1, 2021)

 

Write your stories!

Others need to hear them!

 

 

Your memoir: Everyday wonders

At a Christmas party several years ago, a new acquaintance asked what I did with my time.

I told her I teach memoir classes based on Bible verses telling us to remember what God has done for us and to tell our kids and grandkids.

She got a far-away look in her eye and, after a moment, said, “I think I saw God do something once.” She paused. “Yes, I think I did.”

I wanted to grab her arm and say, “Once?! You saw God do something once? Lady, God does things for us all the time, every day!” but, by His grace, I found a quieter, gentler way to explain my perspective: God is always with us, always active in our lives.

Sometimes we don’t realize God plays a role in everyday events, but He does.

God is always with us. He plans for us, enjoys us, and delights to have a loving relationship with us.

He created each of us for Himself and for His unique purposes.

"You are not an accident.

Your birth was no mistake or mishap,

and your life was no fluke of nature.

Your parents may not have planned you,

but God did....

Long before you were conceived by your parents,

you were conceived in the mind of God.

He thought of you first.

It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence

that you are breathing this very moment.

You are alive because  God wanted to create you!"

(Rick Warren)

If you doubt that, look at David’s words in Psalm 139:13-16 (NCV).

You [God] made my whole being.

You formed me in my mother’s body.

I praise you because you made me

in an amazing and wonderful way.…

You saw my bones being formed

as I took shape in my mother’s body.

When I was put together there,

you saw my body as it was formed.

All the days planned for me were written in your book

before I was one day old.

If you haven’t let that settle into every cell of your being, take a while to do so. The reality behind those words is life-changing!

David also wrote these words about God’s constant involvement in our lives:

Lord, you have examined me.

You know all about me.

You know when I sit down and when I get up.

You know my thoughts before I think them.

You know where I go and where I lie down.

You know well everything I do.

Lord, even before I say a word,

you already know what I am going to say.

You are all around me—in front and in back.

You have put your hand on me.…

Where can I go to get away from your Spirit?

Where can I run from you?

If I go up to the skies, you are there.

If I lie down where the dead are, you are there.

If I rise with the sun in the east,

and settle in the west beyond the sea,

even there you would guide me.

With your right hand you would hold me.

(Psalm 139:1-10, NCV)

Perhaps you identify with the woman I met—maybe you’ve noticed only the big stuff, God’s power in the “visions from heaven and for earth-shaking events.”

If so, this week take time to search for and discover the everyday ways God has always been involved in your life—

• the college He led you to,
• the teacher that inspired your choice of college majors,
• the employment God provided,   
• the neighbor who smiled when you were new in town,
• your doctor’s wisdom,
• the person who became your best friend,
• a baby’s hug,
• an honest car mechanic,
• tomatoes in your garden,
• Bible studies,
• a stranger’s comment that opened up new possibilities,
• and so many more!

God created each of us for His unique purposes.

He plans for us, enjoys us,

and delights to have a loving relationship with us.

God is always with us, always working in us,

always working on our behalf.

Write your stories!