What can you offer readers about mourning AND thanksgiving?

 

Some of you remember a past Thanksgiving as a time of grieving. Heartache.

 

We tend to think of Thanksgiving as a joyous time, a warm time of enjoying loved ones and good food.

 

But memories of some Thanksgivings

might be just the opposite for you.

 

Perhaps a loved one was dying,

or you learned your cancer had returned.

Maybe someone dear to you committed suicide.

You lost your job.

Or your spouse left you.

Or an earthquake—

or hurricane or volcano or wildfire—

destroyed your town.

 

And now,

when Thanksgiving comes around each autumn,

you remember that season of sorrow.

And those memories hurt every time.

 

Five years ago this month, my daughter, son-in-law, and three grandkids somehow lived through an earth-shattering few weeks—along with hundreds of their friends and neighbors.

 

The Woolsey Fire started November 9, 2018, and burned for fourteen days, destroying almost 100,000 acres of the Santa Monica mountains and residential areas in Malibu along the Pacific Ocean. It would eventually destroy 1,643 structures.

 

Imagine them evacuating, driving away, fearing they’d never set eyes on their home again, wondering what could possibly remain of their close-knit community and of the church my son-in-law pastors. Imagine racing away, mile after mile, winds blowing flames out of control, and being overcome by enormous rolling clouds of smoke and ash.

 

No doubt you’ve experienced something

similarly destructive, emotionally or physically.

You know the ache, fear, alarm, hopelessness, panic.

 

And yet . . . And yet. . . .

 

Kaitlyn Bouchillon wrote of stepping into an unknown future, of having to “walk through what we never saw coming, walk among the ashes of what was or even, perhaps, will never be. . . .” (You know what that’s like.)

 

She wrote of shaky steps, unable to see more than one foot ahead, feet slipping. Of weariness, “slowly shuffling along for so long.”

 

And yet . . . looking back now,

Kaitlyn could see that was not the whole story.

 

Stacy L. Sanchez at Heartprints of God writes: “I have a question for you. What do you do when life doesn’t make sense? . . . When you are left with a million questions and not one single answer? What do you do?”

 

. . . “When we find ourself experiencing a trial or hardship, our humanness demands to know why. . . . Why me? . . . What did I do to deserve this? . . . Why would God allow this to happen? Why would a God of love let me suffer like this? Why didn’t God step in and do something to stop this?”

 

Stacy continues, “Our questioning only leads to feelings of confusion, anger, or despondency, not the answer we are so desperately seeking.

 

“. . . During a very low point in my life . . . day in and day out I kept pleading with [God] for an answer. I believed if I could just understand the ‘why’ behind what was happening, I would be able to deal with it, accept it, and move on.”

 

But, “God remained silent. For months I wrestled with my emotions and my God.”

 

What about you?

 

What do you remember

of being nearly paralyzed,

broken by an unwelcome blow?

You recognized life would never be the same again.

Wondered how you could live with the pain.

Feared the future.

Doubted you could keep placing one foot

in front of the other.

 

And God remained silent.

 

And yet, looking back now,

you recognize that was not the whole story.

 

Ponder that this week.

 

Your mind will be at work while you rake leaves

and bring woolens out of trunks

and stoke up the fireplace fire.

And while you plan your Thanksgiving menu.

Believe me, more and more details

will pop into your mind.

You still have time

before Thanksgiving’s hustle and bustle

to jot them down.

You’ll be glad you did,

and someday your friends and family

will thank you.

 

We’ll continue this next time—

because there’s so much more to your story.

 

For now,

be thinking about what you can offer your readers

about mourning—

 

but about more than that:

What can you also offer them

about thanksgiving—

about gratitude that eventually became

as life-changing

as the darkness?

“When the glitter settles … a pep talk is in order.”

Of all the blog posts on making New Year’s resolutions about writing, one stood out, Resolution...or...Revolution,* by Stacy at Heartprints of God.

Have you declared that 2012 is The Year of Your Memoir?* I hope so! (Read last Wednesday’s post* if you missed it.)

Some of you—Penny, De, and Janet—say this is The Year of Your Memoir! Bravo!

The rest of you can do the same!

Just picture it: A year from now, your memoir could have a title.

Your memoir could have a cover.

Inside, black ink on white pages could chronicle your stories.

Sounds pretty exciting, but how can you make your memoir a reality?

If you’re like many of us, you took time off during the busy holiday season and now need a boost to get busy writing again. Maybe you can identify with Dianne Christner at WordServe Water Cooler, * who says,

“When the glitter settles, I often discover that my creativity has gravitated from the work place to family, friends, and holiday festivities.… Christmas can leave me feeling unmotivated to return to the hard task of writing. When this happens, a pep talk is in order.…” *

Dozens of writerly-types have written blog posts about the need to make New Year’s resolutions, and perhaps most of us have made some—but I’ve heard only one in five people will keep them!

Here’s a quote I recently put on SM 101’s Facebook Page because, if you want to make significant progress on writing your memoir in 2012, here’s wise advice:

"...You have to be driven. You have to have the three D's: drive, discipline and desire. If you're missing any one of those three, you can have all the talent in the world, but it's going to be really hard to get anything done." (Nora Roberts; emphasis mine)

Of the dozen or so blog posts I read on making New Year’s resolutions about writing, one stood out, Resolution...or...Revolution,* by Stacy at Heartprints of God.

Stacy says that a resolution is a decision.

It “starts in the mind. It is making up your mind you are going to do something different.”

“But,” she asks, “is a resolution what you and I are really wanting?”

Then she defines revolution: It is a complete turn in a new direction resulting in far-reaching change.

I picked up The Synonym Finder, by J. I. Rodale, and looked up revolution: a radical change, a metamorphosis, a transformation.

Stacy says, “We don’t just want to decide to make a change, we want the change! We want to make a complete turn and head in a new direction. We want far-reaching and drastic change.

“… How do we turn our resolution into a true revolution?

“By being intentional. By keeping our goals ever before us… always in view. By doing something each day to bring this goal to a reality.

“Change starts in our mind, but comes to fruition in our actions.…

“It’s not enough to decide one time. We must keep deciding and keep choosing and keep resolving each and every day.”

Wow! I like that, especially the word intentional. How about you?

If you have resolved to make 2012 The Year of Your Memoir, let us know. Leave a comment below because, like Kathy Pooler recently said, it takes a village to write a memoir. We’re in this together!

*Resources and links

Wednesday’s post,

http://spiritualmemoirs101.blogspot.com/2012/01/opportunity-for-you-writing-fast.html

Dianne Christner’s quote, “When the glitter settles,”

http://wordservewatercooler.com/2011/12/27/inspiration-to-write

Stacy’s Resolution or Revolution,

http://www.heartprintsofgod.com/2011/12/resolutionora-revolution.html