The stuff of turning points and second chances

Devastating situations can knock the air out of us. Bring us to our knees.

Sometimes we cause our own tragedies, other times we’re innocent victims of someone else’s choices and actions. And sometimes heartbreaks are part of life—like the death of a loved one.

Sometimes we are so broken, so helpless, we can’t do anything but fling ourselves into God’s arms and hold on.

And there, within that place of crisis, we discover that during our most painful times we learn our most important lessons. 

Sorrows can wrench us out of places we should never have wandered: Anguish can break down our stubbornness and make us willing, finally, to embrace a holy discontent with things that are not right in our lives.

A crisis can force us to get serious about God and His forgiveness and grace—and about our need to forgive and extend grace to others.

Devastation can shake us by the shoulders and convince us that God is worthy of all we are and all we have—that He is Number One.

In that way, our brokenness can lead to our wholeness: Heartbreaks can be the stuff of turning points and second chances. Personal disasters can lead to personal victories.

Some of you have been there. You messed up. Or maybe someone else messed up and left you devastated. Shattered. But you survived. Your  broken self healed—by God’s grace. You’re living in a new chapter of your life.

God has given you a new song to sing (Psalm 40:1-3).

He has given you beauty in place of ashes, gladness in place of mourning (Isaiah 61:3).

He has restored places long devastated (Isaiah 61:4).

He has turned your weeping into songs of joy (Psalm 126:5-6).

You need to write your story because

someone needs to hear that you got through your disaster.

Someone needs to know that you are living a new and better life.

Not just that you got a new life—but how you got there.

How did you and God, together, get you to this new place?

Someone, sometime, will read your memoir—someone searching for answers, someone reeling in the midst of his or her own anguish, longing to turn a corner, desperate to receive a second chance, eager to leave the former life behind and make a fresh start. God can use your story to help answer their prayers, give them hope, and someone (you, through your memoir) to walk alongside them toward the other side.

In that way, you—just an ordinary person—can be a “messenger of the Most High.”

“And so we understand that ordinary people are messengers of the Most High,” writes Lawrence Kushner. “They go about their tasks in holy anonymity. Often, even unknown to themselves. Yet, if they had not been there, if they had not said what they said or did what they did, it would not be the way it is now. We would not be the way we are now. Never forget that you, too, may be a messenger. Perhaps even one whose errand extends over several lifetimes.” (Lawrence Kushner, Eyes Remade for Wonder, emphasis mine)

Read those last two sentences again with your memoir in mind: “Never forget that you, too, may be a messenger. Perhaps even one whose errand extends over several lifetimes.”

How can your stories extend over several lifetimes? By putting them in writing, making copies, and making sure your family knows they have copies—on a shelf somewhere, or in a box in the basement. They might not read your memoir in your lifetime, but someday, someone will read it.

Trust God—

He has given you a high calling.

Your stories matter.

Not so much because of who you are,

but because of who God is.

Commit your stories to Him,

believing He will use them to bless your readers.

“Your struggle to share your struggle changes the world.”

Mick Silva, Higher Purpose Writers

Tuesday Tidbit: Your story is not your own

Here's your 15 seconds of inspiration,

your Tuesday Tidbit:

Your memoir: Like the sound of a bell

Two Horses

(author unknown)

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing.

If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her halter is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her.

As you stand and watch these two friends, you’ll see how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray. When she returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops occasionally and looks back, making sure her friend isn’t too far behind to hear the bell.

Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.

Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see….

Your memoir can serve as a “bell” for others.

We think of the sound of bells as pleasant, lovely. Bells chime in times of celebration.

Write stories to remind readers of all that’s good, to remind them they have reasons to celebrate. Write to cheer others and warm their hearts and inspire them to walk with a spring in their step. Write to brighten a person’s day.

Write to give someone a smile, or even a belly-laugh. God blesses and teaches through hilarious incidents and humorous encounters and comical blunders—and who knows? Maybe someone, through your story, can learn to laugh again.

Sometimes God hands us pure joy—surrounded by a crowd of loved ones, or maybe in the presence of just one kind person or kindred spirit. Demonstrate that through your stories.

Bells can also sound warning, get our attention, demand action.

The author of the above piece wrote: “God…brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.” That could be your role, helping others in need of guidance:

Your stories can sound warning by letting people witness the ways you messed up—your rebellion, foolishness, fears, immaturity, poor judgment—and inspire them to avoid the mistakes you made and the heartaches you suffered.

Like Jon Acuff said, “Sometimes God redeems your story by surrounding you with people who need to hear your past, so it doesn’t become their future.”

Someone needs to hear your “I once was blind but now I see” story, your “Amazing Grace” story: Someone needs to know how God forgave your sins and cleaned you up and helped you stand tall and gave you a second chance.

So sound those bells! 

Write your stories!

Tuesday Tidbit: “We need honest, true-to-life stories”

Here's your 15 seconds of inspiration, 

your Tuesday Tidbit:

Be intentional.

Write your memoir as a gift for others.

“The unmistakable mark of divine contrivance”

“Event after event has the unmistakable mark of divine contrivance,” writes Lawrence Kushner. Divine contrivance! He writes about recognizing “it is all the doing of the Holy One.” (Eyes Remade for Wonder).

Kushner was writing about what was true in Biblical times, yet it’s still true in our times—but we often overlook the ways God is with us in our everyday comings and goings.

Too frequently we fail to recognize He’s busily at work—that He has the big picture in mind and is taking steps to make important things (often disguised as small details or coincidences) fall into place.

Memoirists need to catch glimpses of God at work. We need to notice His loving care and help in our tragedies and failures and heartaches—our huge defining moments (or months, or years)—but also in our day-to-day activities and relationships and opportunities.

And so, today I hope and pray the words below will stir up story ideas for your memoir—that they will lead you to think deeply and discover “divine contrivances” and “doings of the Holy One.”

Before you read these words I have compiled for you:

• get out a pencil and paper (or sit down in front of your computer),
• read the first quote slowly,
• ask yourself what experience (yours or someone else’s) it reminds you of,
• and jot down a few notes.
• Read the rest of the quotes, doing the same exercise listed above,
• then use your notes to craft stories for your memoir.

Okay, let’s get started with the quotes: 

“God has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

“When I looked back at the years of struggle, I realized they all took part in the beautiful pattern that became my miracle and it would not have been possible without the struggle.” (Lene Fogelberg)

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.” Walt Disney

“Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving.” (Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking)

“We are all brave men and we are all afraid, and what the world calls a brave man, he too is brave and afraid like all the rest of us. Only he is brave for five minutes longer.” (Alistair MacLean)

“Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10, NLT).

“Do it trembling if you must, but do it!” (Emmet Fox)

“We are all travelers in what John Bunyan calls the wilderness of this world… and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend. He is a fortunate voyager who finds many.” (Robert Lewis Stevenson)

“It’s one thing to go through a crisis grandly, yet quite another to go through every day glorifying God when there is no witness, no limelight, and no one paying even the remotest attention to us. To do even the most humbling tasks to the glory of God takes the Almighty God Incarnate working in us. The true test of a saint’s life is not successfulness but faithfulness on the human level of life.” (Oswald Chambers)

“God is already working on Plan B even as Plan A lies in shambles around your feet.” (John Claypool)

“It’s one thing to say God is a way-maker. It’s another thing to see Him make a way.” (Tony Evans)

“'Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?' declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 23:24a).

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” Mary Oliver

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6 and Hebrews 13:5).

“What we need is a hope that’s more than wishful thinking or blind expectation that everything will work out smoothly. We need a hope that is vibrant in pain, consistent in grief, indefatigable when people break our hearts, unassailable in disappointment, and unflagging in life’s pressure…. True hope… does not come from searching for hope. It grows out of two basic convictions: that God is in charge and that He intervenes.”(Lloyd John Ogilvie, God’s Best for My Life)

“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life or death to you.” (C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed) 

“…Our Lord never wastes times of testing. The pain and struggles and confusion connected with my circumstances only seemed futile and unfair.” (Charles R. Swindoll, Come Before Winter and Share My Hope) 

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12).

Notice God

doing major things

during momentous, life-changing events,

but also search to discover

God doing major things

in what you thought were everyday,

even trivial,

activities.

“Father…You met me

at every fork of the road

with clear guidance

and fresh grace.

I beheld Your glory.”

(Lloyd John Ogilvie, Quiet Moments with God;

emphasis mine)

Your stories are important. Your memoir can be a life-giving handbook.

It can offer readers:

hard-earned wisdom, 

hope, 

guidance, 

courage, 

joy, 

a hand up, 

a warning, 

a smile, 

a good cry, 

a more meaningful life, 

a solution to a problem, 

help in making a decision, 

faith in God, 

determination to keep a promise, 

and so much more.

Tuesday Tidbit: People who pop into our lives

Have you found this to be true while thinking back on your life and writing your memoir?

Be sure to explore levels of your life that are just under the surface. Peel back layers. Examine. Ponder. Make time to discover gems for your memoir, gems in the form of people God brought into your life to play key roles.

That's it,

your 15 seconds of inspiration,

your Tuesday Tidbit.

For your memoir’s grand finale: Psalm 136

Recently we’ve been considering your memoir’s ending. You want, and need, to create a grand finale—an ending that will impact your readers. (Click on Do you know how your memoir will end? and Give muscle to your memoir’s ending.)

Your grand finale gives you an opportunity—a chance to highlight your moist important points, those messages you want your readers to remember and apply to their own lives.

Most of us here at SM 101 write our memoirs because of verses like Deuteronomy 4:9 which tells us:

Always remember what you’ve seen God do for you

and be sure to tell your children and grandchildren!

(That doesn’t mean you must mention God in every incident/chapter/vignette, but you, the author, will pull everything together, recognizing God was always with you and acting on your behalf even if you didn’t recognize Him at the time.)

Craft a grand finale that celebrates God in a personal way.

One of the easiest, most powerful ways to craft a grand finale is the following fill-in-the-blank exercise using Psalm 136, a magnificent song of praise to God—a celebration of God.

You’ll customize your own version of Psalm 136 starting in verse ten, but first let’s look at verses one through nine. Praise focuses on God the Creator of all: He is good and His love endures forever. He made the heavens, spread out the earth upon the waters, and made the sun, moon, and stars.

I suggest you include those first nine verses, as-is, in your grand finale, then starting with verse ten, you can tailor-make the rest of the psalm for your memoir.

Here’s what I mean.

Starting with verse ten, praise focuses on God who is personally involved with His children—their families, their daily comings and goings, and the span and purposes of their lives.

For example, those next few verses praise God for bringing Israel out of Egypt and recount the additional ways God showed His love and faithfulness to His people, Israel.

Your customized version of Psalm 136 could look something like this (and you will fill in the blanks, listing the ways God guided your family):

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.

            His love endures forever.

Give thanks to the God of gods.

            His love endures forever.

Give thanks to the Lord of lords:

            His love endures forever.

to Him who alone does great wonders,

            His love endures forever.

who by His understanding made the heavens,

            His love endures forever.

who spread out the earth upon the waters,

            His love endures forever.

who made the great lights—

            His love endures forever.

the  sun to govern the day,

            His love endures forever.

the moon and stars to govern the night;

            His love endures forever.

_______________________________

His love endures forever.

_______________________________

His love endures forever.

_______________________________

His love endures forever.

…and so on. (Psalm 136, NIV)

Starting with verse ten, you might want to go back several generations, especially if, for example, your family survived the Holocaust, or the infamous Clearances in Scotland, the potato famine in Ireland, a war, or the Great Depression, or some other challenge. Or maybe you know (or can research) stories of your family as pioneers or immigrants.

Add as many lines as you wish. Probably the more the better!

Your grand finale will likely consist of

more than a paraphrase of Psalm 136,

but including it can help your kids, grandkids,

and other family members

recognize they are part of God’s family,

part of something much bigger than themselves and their generation.

Make your grand finale a celebration of God!