Tuesday Tidbit: Hemingway’s advice for you

“Don’t be discouraged because there’s a lot of technical work to writing. There is, and you can’t get out of it,” said Ernest Hemingway, advising a beginning writer, Arnold Samuelson, age 19.

“It’s your object to convey everything to the reader so that he remembers it not as a story he had read but something that happened to himself.”

Read that last part again: “so that he remembers it not as a story he had read but something that happened to himself.”

You want readers to enter your story, to experience your story alongside you. That’s how your story can make a difference in their lives. That’s how God can use your story to inspire, heal, and mentor your readers.

Work hard to make your memoir that kind of memoir.

Join (or form) a writing group. Critique each other’s manuscripts.

Attend writers’ conferences.

Study the best writing books available, like On Writing Well by William Zinsser, The Writer’s Portable Mentor by Priscilla Long, and Writing the Memoir by Judith Barrington.

Follow the best writing blogs, too. I recommend the blogs in the right column.  

To make your memoir the very best it can be, you’ll need to make revisions and edits, but it will be worth it in the end.

Pray about your writing and rewriting. Ask God to guide your work and use your finished memoir to bless others. 

There you have it, your Tuesday Tidbit.

Your stories about mothers and motherhood

What can you write—or should you write—about your mother? Or the mother of your children? Or about being a mother yourself?

All of us have stories about mothers and if we’ll make time to put them in writing, our families will be all the richer for them.

Yes, our families will be all the richer for them. Take in Bruce Feiler’s message:

“What is the secret sauce that holds a family together? What are the ingredients that make some families effective, resilient, happy?”

In researching those questions, Feiler says, “a surprising theme emerged. The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative.”

His research showed that the more children know of their family’s stories, the more they demonstrate emotional health and happiness and the more resilient they are when faced with challenges.

If you’ve followed this blog for a while, you know that when I read those words I hollered, “Yessss! That’s why we write memoirs!” 

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Through research, Feiler discovered God was on the right track when He told us to tell our kids and grandkids what we’ve seen Him do for us (Deuteronomy 4:9; 6:5-9; 6:20-25). Their research verifies Jesus knew what he was talking about when he said, “Go tell your family what the Lord has done for you” (Mark 5:19). (Read more at The secret sauce)

Feiler concludes, “Bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine, and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and the ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.” (“The Stories That Bind Us,” New York Times)

So, since this is the week of Mother's Day, write stories about your mother or a mother you know or your own motherhood. Such stories are important.

I’ve assembled the following quotes to stir up memories from years ago, quotes to inspire you to get out a pen and paper, or sit down at your computer, and start writing:

“From my mother did I enter this world and from my loins did my children arrive and there is a bond between us mothers that holds generations and families together. There are recipes and stories and birthing and bathing and it’s more powerful than spider’s silk….” (Amanda Hill, “Ode to Mothers”)

“A mother is neither cocky, nor proud, because she knows the school principal may call at any minute to report that her child had just driven a motorcycle through the gymnasium.” (Mary Kay Blakely)

“I believe it is impossible to overestimate the power a boy feels and the influence it has in his life when he looks at his Mother and sees that she has seen him, has looked into his soul and found something there that makes her glow.” (Randall Wallace, Living the Braveheart Life)  

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” (Abraham Lincoln)

“I am stretched and tired and fearful. I am wild and brave and broken. My closet has a sense of humor and clothes in every size. I have danced circles into the midnight carpet… rocked restless babies, cut baby curls, snipped fingernails…. I have tripped on Legos, stepped on scooters, slept on bottom bunks, and strung yards of white, twinkling lights above the heads of two blonde brothers afraid of the dark and their bad dreams…. I am overwhelmed, infatuated, love struck and completely unhinged. Especially on the nights they bring in wild flowers and all the every-loving mud in the world….” (Lisa-Jo Baker, “The (real life) dictionary definition of ‘Mother’”)  

“From the time they take their first step, it’s a battle of emotions… cheering them on as they move forward, taking a piece of you farther away with every step. The sleepless nights, the hours of school work at the kitchen table and the fevered afternoons, cool washrag pressed to hot forehead. Who can ever sum up the job description of ‘Mother?’ And all this, when they never belong to us in the first place. Ultimately, the job of a mother is to make herself obsolete.”  (E.P. Hale, “The Leadership Influence of Mothers”)

“The influence of a mother’s leadership may not earn worldly awards, accolades or prestige. But one thing we can be sure of … it makes a difference, maybe even all the difference.” ( E.P. Hale “The Leadership Influence of Mothers”)

“Behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours began.” (Mitch Albom)

“A mother has a way of seeing through your ugly, and always bearing your burdens. She prays hard and makes you feel that there is love in the universe when you can’t see it and a beating heart when you can’t hear it and consistency in her acceptance even when you feel lost or thrown away…. And she reminds you that God redeems, and we must always forgive, and everything we do must be rooted in kindness.” (Amanda Hill, “Ode to Mothers”)   

“I know of no more permanent imprint on a life than the one made by mothers.... More than any statesman or teacher, more than any minister or physician, more than any film star, athlete, business person, author, scientist, civic leader, entertainer, or military hero ... you are the most influential person in your child's life.  

“There would never have been an Isaac without a Sarah, a Moses without a Jachobed, a Samuel without a Hannah.... 

“And so, mothers, don't ever forget the permanence of your imprint. The kids may seem ungrateful, they may act irresponsible, they may even ignore your reminders and forget your advice these days. But believe this: They cannot erase your influence.” (Chuck Swindoll, “The Greatest Influence”)

Happy Mother's Day! 

Cathy, Lia, and Kathleen proved it

Stories matter. Stories make a difference. Even little stories.

Cathy, Lia, and Kathleen proved it.

Tears stung my eyes when I read their comments after last Wednesday’s post, Connect Your Dots. Do you remember it?

“O, Lord, You’ve said You will make my path straight!” Barb cried. “So why is my path so crooked?”

She listened for God’s answer. He seemed to say, “Barb, this is my straight path for you!”

God’s reply zinged Barb.

Barb’s story zinged three of you.

Cathy Scibelli left this comment:

“…  Many times when I read your posts I feel as if I've tapped into a hotline to the Almighty because they are so often an answer to something I've been musing and praying about. Just today I was thinking similar to Barb, saying to a friend I wish God would put up road signs that say ‘Wrong Way’ so I don't stray off a nice straight smooth path. Now I understand not to fear the bumpy detours.”

Lia London said this:

“I absolutely love this idea! For years, I’ve understood that the Lord has customized trials for us, but I had never visualized the ‘path’ idea. Your dot-to-dot idea further helps me see how each individual’s journey is its own beautiful work of art, and we are in the care of the Master Artist.”

Kathleen Pooler wrote:

“You always seem to strike a chord in me with your posts! This one took me back to the time I decided to move out of state. I was a single parent with two school-aged children and on the surface it certainly didn't seem like a rational plan. Even my brother said ‘there's a straight line from A to B but Kathy chooses the zig zag course.’ In retrospect, as irrational as it all looked, I know now that God knew what He was doing. Thank you for another thought-provoking post that gets me in touch with my own journey and with the awesome presence of God in my life.”

So there you have it: Stories are important!

Stories can solve mysteries, encourage change, inspire action, and give hope.

Even your everyday stories can impart wisdom and shape character.

Your stories can change lives.

No wonder God urges us to tell others what we’ve seen Him do!

Over the years, God used Barb’s story in powerful ways, and He can do the same with your stories.

Your stories can build bridges between past generations and future generations.

Like Lisa-Jo Baker said, word by word, build your bridge, that others might walk across. (From her blog post, Because Words Can Build A Bridge…)

Last summer Pastor Sid Tiller preached a sermon based on Psalm 100:5, “For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.”

Sid challenged us, saying,

“Generations before you lived for you

and told you of God’s love and mercy.

There are folks counting on us—folks not born net—

who need us to put Psalm 100:5 into action.

May your children and grandchildren

and great-grandchildren

know the name of God and praise Him.”

Stories matter. Stories make a difference. Even little stories.

Your stories can be sacred, full of life and light.

Write your stories!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas?

Did you submit a story for the Advent group-writing project

hosted by The High Calling?

(See my earlier blog post, You’re invited to the Advent group-writing project ...)

Olive Tree submitted her story about Christmases past and present,

including Christmas in Turkey!

You can read it by clicking on this link: Celebrating Life Every Day!

(or http://olivetreeingodshouse.blogspot.com/2011/12/celebrating-life-every-day.html)

Diana Trautwein submitted her Advent story, too, and you'll enjoy reading it.

Just click on Advent: Remembering the Ways of God (or http://drgtjustwondering.blogspot.com/2011/12/advent-remembering-ways-of-god.html)

In October, the annual five-month rainy season ended after dumping 150 inches.

A few weeks later, under 100-degree temperatures, bushes, trees, and untamed jungle lost their leaves.

From sunrise to sunset, hot wind blew across the llanos from Brazil, stirring up spicy fragrances of sun-baked grass.

Immense open stretches simmered.

Muddy paths and tracks turned rock-hard.

And one day in December, 1976, while I walked one of those sun-cracked tracks and that heavenly fireball cooked my skin, the school principal—rotund, fifty-something—puttered up to me on her rust-red motorbike and declared, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!”

She looked at me for a few seconds and then laughed—I’m sure my face betrayed my thoughts. I bit my tongue to keep from blurting out: This looks like Christmas? You’ve gotta be kidding!

To me, Christmas looks like frost-covered evergreens and frozen puddles. Heavy coats, scarves, mittens, boots. Runny noses. Sledding. Fireplace fires. Ice skating. Skiing.

I learned a lesson that hot, dry December day: “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” means different things to different people. To the school principal, a sun-bleached landscape and blistering equatorial wind signaled she’d soon celebrate Christmas.

When you hear those familiar old words, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,” what do you picture?

Some of you live in faraway lands—perhaps on the mission field or in the military—and your Christmas looks nothing like scenes North Americans see on Christmas cards or in movies or TV commercials.

At The Gypsy Mama,* Lisa-Jo Baker writes, “… I grew up in a country where Christmas meant hot and sun-burned and the beach. All this even when the shopping malls were still bursting with the strains of, ‘I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.’ And no matter how many years I live away from South Africa, I always miss the hot and the acacia trees and the flaming sunsets.”

What does your Christmas look like?

Morley Callaghan is right: a writer watches.

A writer looks. A write sees.

This holiday season, look around. Notice details you might take for granted after all these years. Take a fresh look and capture those sights for your memoir because a generation or two from now, your memoir’s readers might be amused to learn what your Christmases were like.

Pull out old photos of Christmases past, and those of your parents and grandparents. Examine them. Take in details and find words for them. Write them into your rough drafts. They will add color, texture, and enjoyment for your readers.

Have you written a story about Christmas for your memoir?

If so, send me your vignette

by this coming Saturday—

that’s December 10—

and I’ll select one to publish here

the week before Christmas.

See all the details in my November 12 post at this link:

http://spiritualmemoirs101.blogspot.com/2011/11/send-me-your-christmas-vignettes.html

*Resources and related posts:

The Gypsy Mama, Liso-Jo Baker,

http://thegypsymama.com/