You might already have the perfect Christmas gift for your family

Any day now we’re going to start seeing Christmas decorations in stores. Can you believe it?

That means most of us will soon stress about choosing just the right gifts for everyone on our lists.

If you’re like me, you worry—Is this in style? What size does he wear? Would she wear this color? I loved this book—but would he? Does this style match her décor? Does he already have one of these?

Today people own more trinkets and gadgets and junk than they need or can use, or even want, yet when Christmas comes around, we pace shopping malls ad nauseum searching for new trinkets, gadgets, and junk to give family and friends.

Let me suggest an alternative, something much better:

Give relatives a copy of your memoir. If you haven’t completed it—even if you’ve written only a few vignettes—no problem. Give what you have completed.

Give them a gift of yourself.

Your stories—and your family’s unique part in them—

will never go out of style,

and you don’t need to worry about

buying the right style or size or color.

Tell recipients it’s an early draft, just the beginning, and that you’ll add more stories later.

Have I convinced you yet? I hope so.

And I have good news: You have about 11 weeks to revise and edit and polish your vignettes.

To help with that editing, ask a qualified person to critique your manuscript. Avoid enlisting family and friends. Frank P. Thomas advises:

“…Choose that person carefully. Remember that friends or relatives tend to overpraise, and others may criticize merely to impress you with their knowledge.”

Instead, he says, “Pick someone who cares about writing besides caring about you, such as an English teacher, a teacher of writing courses, or someone in your local writers’ club.”

I agree with Thomas. In a local writers’ group, critique partners can give you impartial, objective, and often professional feedback. I treasure my critique partners.

Thomas recommends asking our critique partners questions such as, “Are there any passages that will not be clearly understood? Are there any omissions or inaccuracies? Are any parts of the manuscript repetitious? What parts do you like best? Least? Are there any glaring errors of grammar or spelling?” (Frank P. Thomas, How to Write the Story of Your Life)

Refuse to get defensive when you receive feedback. Don’t take suggestions as personal insults. Critique is not the same as criticism.

A critique is an evaluation, an assessment, an analysis. It’s not criticism or disapproval.

So, when you receive your critique partners’ responses, remember: Usually at least some of their findings will help improve your manuscript. If any comments don’t “fit,” ignore them and move on.

Revise your vignettes as needed—but don’t print them yet.

Come back Tuesday for tips on assembling your stories as well as key components to prepare and include in your published memoir.

For now, make a commitment to give what you’ve written—however long or short—as a down payment, a pledge of more to come. Promise your recipients a finished memoir in the future—maybe next Christmas.

Be sure to return Tuesday for more helpful tips.