Your memoir’s key people: Include only relevant details

For the past two Thursdays, we’ve looked at ways to polish your memoir and make it as user-friendly as possible:  After all, you want people to read it—but you want more than that: You want them to feel immersed in it. You want readers to experience what you experienced.

Today we’ll focus on creating realistic characters. (You don’t need to flesh out every person in your memoir, but readers want to get acquainted with your main characters.)

What are your character’s most significant features and actions and habits and mannerisms? Include sensory details—details pertaining to the five senses: seeing, touching, tasting, smelling, and hearing.

In The Orchardist, Amanda Coplin’s main character, Talmadge, looks like this—this is what she wants the reader to see:

          “His face was as pitted as the moon…. His ears were elephantine, a feature most commented on when he was younger, when the ears stuck out from his head; but now they had darkened like the rest of his sun-exposed flesh and lay against his skull…and were tough, the flesh granular like the rind of some fruit. He was clean-shaven, large-pored; his skin was oily. In some lights his flesh was gray; others, tallow; others, red. His lips were the same color as his face…. His nose was large, bulbous. His eyes were cornflower blue…. and his lips were as pure and sculpted as a cherub’s….

          “His arms were sun-darkened and flecked with old scars. He combed his hair over his head, a dark, sparse wing kept in place with pine-scented pomade.”

Develop a multi-dimensional person: go beyond a physical, sensory description. What was endearing about her? Annoying about him? Comical, scary, heroic? What did she obsess over? And was that a good or bad obsession? What did other people say or think about that person?

Frederick Buechner writes of New Testament character Paul:

          “Paul’s mads were madder and his blues bluer, his pride prouder and his humbleness humbler, his strengths stronger and his weaknesses weaker than almost anybody else’s you’d be apt to think of…. [H]is contemporaries accused him of being insincere, crooked, yellow, physically repulsive, unclean, bumbling, and off his rocker.” (from Wishful Thinking and later from Beyond Words)

Peel back layers:

Readers need to know what was happening between the lines.

What was happening beneath and beyond the sensory details?

What was going on inside?

What were that person’s thoughts?

What was it about the person’s history, 

beliefs, 

goals,

fears, 

experiences, 

successes, 

quirks, 

failures,

character, 

or values 

that impacted your life?

For example, Frederick Buechner writes,

          “Like her father, my grandmother had little patience with weakness, softness, sickness. Even gentleness made her uncomfortable, I think—the tender-hearted people who from fear of giving pain, or just from fear of her, hung back from speaking their minds the way she spoke hers.” (The Sacred Journey)

Your goal is to accurately portray the most important people in your stories without overdoing it.  Know what information to include and what to leave out: Include relevant details; leave out irrelevant ones. If your character was an avid fisherman and a Kansas City Royals fan but those details have no relevance to your story, you can probably leave out that information.

Roy Peter Clark says it this way:

          “To bring a person to literary life requires not a complete inventory of characteristics, but selected details arranged to let us see flesh, blood, and spirit. In the best of cases—when craft rises to art—the author conjures a character that seems fully present for the reader….”

Revise and polish your memoir in those places where

your main characters need to come to life.

Develop people your readers can visualize, but go beyond that:

create living, breathing, vibrant,

memorable, significant characters.

Choose precise words to briefly but adequately flesh out

the most important aspects of key people,

people who are believable, knowable, and well-rounded.

If you can achieve that,

your readers will feel acquainted and connected

with your memoir’s most important characters.

If you missed the last two Thursday posts, click on:

“When you say something, make sure you have said it”

The importance of “place” in your memoir

Beyond likeable: Worthy

In addition to crafting well-rounded, relatable, realistic, fleshed-out, believable characters in our memoirs (click here if you missed our recent post), Angela Ackerman asks a thought-provoking question: Will Writers Find Your Protagonist Worthy?

Her post challenged me to re-examine main characters in a memoir I’m writing. Her insights will be valuable to you, too, as you write your memoir.

Angela asks if our readers will consider our key people “worth rooting for.”

You and I need to discover the “true worthiness” of our key figures and then find words to describe them.

“True worthiness” is more than being nice or charming or attractive or accomplished or likeable. It’s higher and deeper and wider than those.

Such worthiness has to do with a person’s moral code, principles, standards, beliefs, ideals, values, and ethics.

I’m not necessarily talking about prominent, recognized, lauded people.

Think about this: In most cases, your heroes and mine are everyday common people, living quiet, private lives, maybe even mundane lives.

You and I have the task of showing

how those ordinary unsung heroes

came into our lives

and led us,

cheered for us,

steered us away from foolishness,

prayed for us,

cried with us,

laughed with us,

(and sometimes laughed at us),

changed us,

showed us how to live

and love

and work

and worship.

They modeled integrity

and honor

and faithfulness

and commitment,

and we memoirists

need to flesh out those people

and develop those key characters in our stories

so readers feel they know them

and “find them worthy of rooting for.”

Look over the main personalities in your memoir—not all people, only key figures.

If you haven’t read your rough drafts for a while, you’ll be able read with fresh eyes and ears (yes, read them aloud). Put yourself in your readers’ shoes while you read your drafts and ask yourself if your key figures are “worthy of rooting for.” If not, spend time developing your heroes.

Pull back the layers

and dig deeply,

all the while asking yourself

what experiences, choices,

values, beliefs, 

and/or people

made them into the persons they became?

Get out your magnifying glass.

Then make those characters come alive!

Enable your readers to discover

and appreciate

your real heroes.

The end result

will be worth your time and effort.

Your memoir and the importance of EMPATHY

You, as a memoirist, want to write about people that “readers bond with and root for,” writes Angela Ackerman, “and this happens because of one very important word: EMPATHY.”

“When characters are unique yet well-rounded and familiar in some way, we connect with them,” Angela continues. “We empathize with what they are going through, become tense when trouble hits, and relax when they emerge in one piece. We care about what happens to them because our emotions are engaged.”

You and I, as memoirists, have a big responsibility: to create realistic, fleshed-out main characters in our stories—not all the people, but central figures. Our job: craft believable individuals.

The stars of our narratives, the heroes, need to have:

• personality,
• quirks,
• depth,
• blind spots,
• complexity,
• obsessions,
• talents,
• weaknesses,
• inconsistencies,
• successes,
• and failures.

What trait is most prominent? His worst trait? Her most endearing trait?

What is his passion? What are her life’s goals? Did he drop out of high school to fight in World War 2? Does she have her PhD?

We pinpoint what makes these details unique within the context of our lives and stories. If she’s wealthy, or if he’s just barely scraping by—and if that is significant info for our readers—then we include it.

We use all five senses to round out our main characters. We let readers see, smell, hear, feel, and taste what we experienced with our heroes.

Does she usually smell like lilacs? Or garlic? Does he have red hair and freckles? Does she have dark skin and white hair? Does he smell like coal because he works in a coal mine? Do you wish he used deodorant? Are her hands soft and well-groomed, or are they rough and chapped? What does his voice sound like? Is she cute as a bug’s ear? Does he have a birth defect? Does he wear too much aftershave? Is she super-organized? Is he sloppy?

We want our readers to feel they know our main characters and can relate to them, care about them.

Analyze and then include your main characters’ body language: “Sometimes what people say without actually speaking tells us a whole lot more than what comes out of their mouths,” writes Melissa Donovan at Writing Forward blog. “Using body language to communicate is natural. We all understand it intuitively.… [C]losely observe people’s body language and learn how humans speak without words so you can bring unspoken communication into your writing.”

Our readers want to enter our stories with us. They want to identify with us, bond, cry, laugh, worry, and hang in there with us all the way to the end.  

You’ll enjoy reading more about creating empathy through action, a person’s flaws, self-doubts, and mistakes in Angela’s post, “3 Quick Tips To Help Readers Connect To Your Hero.” (Keep in mind the post is about developing fictitious characters, but Angela’s tips are important for real people in your memoir. Just be sure you’re honest and accurate in fleshing out your real person!)

Again: Include only those details that are unique within the context of your stories. If a bit of description is significant info for your readers, include it.

More next week on fleshing out our main characters.

What inner qualities define your memoir’s main characters?

Today we’ll dig deeper into the exercise of bringing life to your memoir’s main characters—people who shaped your life, for better or for worse.

Why is that important?

First: You want people to read your stories. The more interesting your characters, the more likely readers will keep turning pages.*

Second, related to the first: Writing your memoir is more than a hobby. It is an important ministry to your family.* Your stories contain important messages, lessons, and values you want to pass on to your kids, grandkids, and generations to come. If they don’t read your stories, however, they’ll miss the wisdom and significance you want to pass on to them. 

Look through your rough drafts for vague, one-dimensional strangers. When you find them, add details so that your main characters—not every person, but key people in your vignettes—have personality and emotions and traits.

How?

Last time we focused on sensory details* because they help readers feel they’re standing beside you, participating in your story. Write so your readers experience what you saw, smelled, felt, heard, and tasted.

For example, did he have body odor? Did she talk with a Scottish accent? Were his hands leathery? Did she comport herself like a ballerina?

It’s important, however, to go beyond sensory details, beyond physical qualities: Dig deeper and flesh out central people.

To do that, enlarge upon individuals who played significant roles in your life. What inner qualities define him or her? Tell readers about her moral fiber. What was going on in his heart, soul, spirit, mind?

How did she make decisions? What did his faith inspire him to do? Did he show you what courage is?

Did she model faithfulness? What did he teach you about forgiveness? Grace and mercy? Integrity? Honor? Tenacity? Hope? Self-control? How did he react in a crisis?

How and why did she turn the other cheek? How did he handle failure? What heartaches did she live with? What crosses did he silently bear?

Roy Peter Clark says it this way: “To bring a person to literary life requires not a complete inventory of characteristics, but selected details arranged to let us see flesh, blood, and spirit.” (from Keeping it real: how round characters grow from the seeds of detail, by Roy Peter Clark, at http://niemanstoryboard.us/2011/01/24/keeping-it-real-how-round-characters-grow-from-the-seeds-of-detail)

Sometimes a person’s negative character traits influenced you as much as another person’s positive attributes: 

What did bitterness do to her?

What prejudices did he hold and how did they impact family gatherings?

Did she act one way in public and another way at home?

What did her timidity prevent her from doing?

How did his fear hinder his faith in God?

How did she let disappointment shape her attitudes?

What were his blind spots?

Was she cold-hearted? Mean-spirited?

While you work on your central characters' "flesh, blood, and spirit," keep in mind the definition* and beauty and purpose of memoir:

Memoir includes pondering, examining, unraveling, musing, and retrospection. 

In light of your current knowledge, look for lessons God had for you in the people and events you write about.

How did key people—whether positive or negative influences—help you learn about yourself?

Did a vignette's main character strengthen your faith or turn your life around? 

Did he pull you down with him, or convince you to live your life differently? 

What did your experience teach you about God and His involvement in your life? 

Select details that pertain to your story and its focus. Write so your readers feel they’re acquainted with your most important characters.

Want some help? In this blog’s right sidebar, scroll down and click on The Bookshelf Muse icon. Once there, look through The Character Traits Thesaurus in the right column. You’ll have a lot of fun meandering through those resources!

*Related posts:

Write life into your memoir’s characters, http://spiritualmemoirs101.blogspot.com/2011/10/write-life-into-your-memoirs-characters.html

Are your stories important?

http://spiritualmemoirs101.blogspot.com/2011/05/are-your-stories-important.html

What is a memoir?

http://spiritualmemoirs101.blogspot.com/2011/04/what-is-memoir.html

Your story is important, but will anyone read it? http://spiritualmemoirs101.blogspot.com/2011/06/your-story-is-important-but-will-anyone.html

Capture your readers’ interest,

http://spiritualmemoirs101.blogspot.com/2011/10/capture-your-readers-interest-so-theyll.html