Inspiration to keep you writing your stories

“Young people are educated in many ways,” writes David Brooks, “but they are given relatively little help in understanding how a life develops, how careers and families evolve, what are the common mistakes and the common blessings of modern adulthood.”

Dan Allender helps us with this perspective, “Our story begins with the characters who gave us birth, including their past relationships with their parents and issues such as success and shame; power and abuse; love, loss, and addiction; heartache and secrets; and family myths. Our birth is a beginning, but we owe our existence to the generations that came before us. Our beginning … took place before we were born….” (To Be Told)

“I discovered how much the stories about the women who came before me, who are now gone, matter to me now,” says author Joy DeKok. “I can draw from their wisdom and learn from their decisions, mistakes, and successes. As a society, we often discard our elderly or those already gone as insignificant. This lie birthed a passion in me to urge men and women of all ages to preserve and share their stories now so this generation and those to come later, will have the benefit of their wisdom and life-knowledge.…

“The world, or my corner of it, [is] changed when I share the past forward. … The past can only have value in the future if we preserve it now.… The world is hungry for real-life stories.… We want to watch how people  cope, respond, mess up, and succeed.… People want our stories.” (Joy DeKok, author of Your Life a Legacy)

Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; 

his greatness no one can fathom. 

One generation will commend your works to another; 

they will tell of your mighty acts. 

They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty.… 

They will tell of the power of your awesome works.… 

They will celebrate your abundant goodness

and joyfully sing of your righteousness. 

(Psalm 145: 3-7, NIV)

You have a story inside that younger generations need to hear. Only you can write it best. Connect your story with God’s story and write yourself onto the pages of your family’s Christian history.

The “secret sauce”

If you’re struggling to keep writing your memoir, 

this is just what you need.

“What is the secret sauce that holds a family together?” asks Bruce Feiler. “What are the ingredients that make some families effective, resilient, happy?”

Feiler spent several years researching those questions and “a surprising theme emerged. The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative.” (“The Stories That Bind Us,” New York Times)

If you’ve followed this blog for a while, you know when I read those words I hollered, “Yessss! That’s why we write memoirs!”

Feiler applauds the work of psychologist Marshall Duke, Duke’s wife Sara, a psychologist working with children, colleague Robyn Fivush, and their “Do You Know?” measure. For example:

“Do you know where your grandparents grew up? Do you know where your mom and dad went to high school? Do you know where your parents met? Do you know an illness or something really terrible that happened in your family? Do you know the story of your birth?”

Their research showed that the more children know of their family’s stories, the more they demonstrate emotional health and happiness and the more resilient they are when faced with challenges.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Through their research, these scientists discovered God was on the right track when He told us to tell our kids and grandkids what we’ve seen Him do for us! (Deuteronomy 4:9; 6:5-9; 6:20-25) Their research verifies Jesus knew what he was talking about when he said, “Go tell your family what the Lord has done for you” (Mark 5:19).

Children who know their family’s stories—successes and failures, triumphs and setbacks—know they are part of what Dr. Fivush calls an “intergenerational self,” that is, “they know they belong to something bigger than themselves.”

Belonging to something bigger than themselves. That, too, echoes what we know of God: He created humans with a yearning for fellowship, community, and of belonging to something bigger than ourselves.

First, He wants us to enjoy belonging to Him. God told His children, “I have called you by name; you are Mine!” (Isaiah 43:1 NAS) He promised He would never forget His children: “See, I have written your name on my hand” (Isaiah 49:15-16). His love is an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). God delights to have us belong to Him as part of His something bigger than ourselves.

Second, like so many other ways in life on this earth, God places us in families—community, something bigger than ourselves—as a foretaste of the ultimate belonging we’ll enjoy with Him for eternity.

Bruce Feiler concludes,

“Bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine, and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and the ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.”

Believe it: Your story is important! It’s the “secret sauce.”

The following Bible passage captures my vision—my prayer, my heart’s desire—for the memoir classes I teach and for this blog:

“Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;

his greatness no one can fathom.

One generation will commend your works to another;

they will tell of your mighty acts.

They will speak of

the glorious splendor of your majesty,

and I will meditate on your wonderful works.

They will tell of the power of your awesome works,

and I will proclaim your great deeds.

They will celebrate your abundant goodness

and joyfully sing of your righteousness.”

Psalm 145:3-7, NIV 

So stir up that “secret sauce that holds a family together” and write your stories! Help your children, grandchildren, and great-grands find their identity in your family and God’s family.

New York Times bestseller, Bruce Feiler, is one of the country’s most popular spokesmen on family and faith. He writes a column, “This Life,” for the Sunday New York Times. Much of his NY Times article, The Stories That Bind Us, is adapted from his new book, The Secrets of Happy Families.)

Duane Scott’s “A Writer’s Prayer”

Let’s begin this new year with focus. Single-mindedness.

Break through the chaos, the clutter, the distractions—and maybe even the flu bugs—of the past holiday season.

Focus. Re-focus. Keep in mind why you are writing your memoir.

It is not a hobby. It is a ministry: Remind yourself of Deuteronomy 4:9 in this blog’s header.

Writing your memoir is a ministry: Your stories can shape lives—including the spiritual lives—of your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces, nephews, friends, and other readers.

Because writing your memoir is a ministry, make it a prayer priority.

Lloyd Ogilvie acknowledged that in his ministry he faced “soul-sized issues,” so he prayed,

“Sovereign Father,… You have given me … an imagination able to envision Your plan and purpose for me, and a will ready to do Your will.

“… I know you will go before me to show me the way, behind me to press me forward, beside me to give me courage, above me to protect me, and within me to give me wisdom and discernment.” (Quiet Moments With God; emphasis mine)

Your family has soul-sized issues today and, as new generations join your family, they, too, will have soul-sized issues. God has a plan and purpose for you, a role to play in your family.

As you carry it out, He will go before you, behind you, beside you, above you, and within you. You can count on Him!

You probably have no idea just how much God can use your stories to impact soul-sized issues in your family’s future generations, so today I share with you Duane Scott’s prayer, a humble prayer for himself and all writers:

Dear Author,

Today, the words I use, let them be Your words.

Words of Hope, of Love, of Faith.

Allow me, with trembling hands, to be Your voice.…

Let me never forget, the words I write today,

May change the life of one, maybe two.

But as the Psalmist says, I bring You my sheaves,

They may not be many, but they are Yours.…

(Click here to continue reading Duane’s The Writer’s Prayer)

Focus! Be single-minded! Pray! Write!

Saturday Snippet: What’s your memoir’s ultimate purpose?

The Bible records—often—God’s reason for acting on behalf of His people: so that they’d know Him—“Then you will know that I am the Lord your God” (Exodus 6:6-7, 1 Kings 20:13, Ezekiel 37:5-6, and Joel 2:19-27), and so that people would see Him and praise Him.


God does the same today: He assures us of His love and faithfulness by doing things for us, sometimes in earthshaking ways, but usually in everyday ways.


So here you and I are, writing stories of what He has done for us—writing so that our readers will see Him, know Him, and praise Him.


Let this sink in: Your memoir can stir up a response similar to accounts told in Bible times.


For instance, think of yourself as the man in Mark 5:1-10, “So the man [insert your name] went away and began to tell the Decapolis [insert your readers’ names] how much Jesus had done for him. And all the people were amazed.”


You want your readers to respond the same way: You want them to be amazed at God!


The beauty of memoir is looking back, examining, and making sense of the past.


When we invest time in sifting through the past, and looking at it from a distance, we see that in even the worst of times, God was always on the scene, in our midst, working on our behalf.


The following Bible passage captures my vision—my prayer, my heart’s desire—for the memoir classes I teach and for this blog:

“Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;

his greatness no one can fathom.

One generation will commend your works to another;

they will tell of your mighty acts.

They will speak of

the glorious splendor of your majesty,

and I will meditate on your wonderful works.

They will tell of the power of your awesome works,

and I will proclaim your great deeds.

They will celebrate your abundant goodness

and joyfully sing of your righteousness.”

Psalm 145:3-7, NIV

Keep working on your WIPs (works in progress, rough drafts) and as you do, make a conscious decision: write your memoir as a celebration—a celebration of God in all His goodness, faithfulness, holiness, and splendor.

Your ultimate goal: Write celebrations of God!

Like George Herbert said in the illustration above,

consider yourself

a secretary of God’s praise.