For you: Writing tips from memoirist Jessica Cherie Errico

Last week I promised you an inspiring message from Jessica Cherie Errico, author of The Mother Gap: A Daughter’s Search for Connection, the story of her longing for a close relationship with her “driven, classy, alcoholic mother” and the ways God helped Jessica forgive and love her.

 

Jessica wrote her memoir to help others who have an empty spot, a gap, where love should be. With that in mind, so many of you writers will recognize what Cynthia R. Wallace says:

 

“Storytelling [and] recalling triumphs of justice and goodness

grows our sense of what could be. . . .

Storytelling can feed not just our healing

but our imaginations of what is possible,

strengthening us for the long road together

as we join in God’s project of restoration.”

Cynthia R. Wallace

 

While writing The Mother Gap, Jessica ran into several challenges—as all memoirists do—and she wants to encourage you to persevere as you write your memoir.

 

So, let’s welcome Jessica!

 

Hi, Y’all!

 

I’m writing to you from beautiful Southeast Coastal Georgia, where God transplanted me back in 2011. Yes, He sent this sixty-five-year-old northerner to the south over twenty-two years ago, first to Florida and then to Georgia. I never saw it coming!

 

Yet, it’s in this land of pelicans, ’gators and curvy marshes that my writing efforts truly launched. What season of life are you in right now? Is God making a way for you to invest time into outlining and crafting a memoir?

 

Folks often approach me with a desire to write their whole life’s story. I can’t help but think, now that would be a very long tale! When I wrote The Mother Gap several years ago, I started by narrowing my focus to just the relationship between me and my mom.

 

So, when other people ask for my advice, I challenge them to do the same—to think specifically about what God would have them share. What life lessons, failures and triumphs from their experiences can bless others with encouragement and instruction? A narrow focus is not only critical in the writing stage, but for our reader’s enjoyment as well. Pinpointing your focus is extremely important.

 

Next, I began writing short chapters of selected memories I had of life with my mother. Writing them chronologically helped me break my topic into smaller sections. Still, I had freedom to change their order as desired.

 

Some of you might be wondering if you’ll feel overwhelmed by pain and hurt while dredging up past negative experiences. That’s a valid question and a very good reason to be in prayer.

 

As I wrote, I let raw emotion wash over me. I attempted to “paint” each scene, welcoming my readers into my experience. God loves us so much and is able to guide us by His Holy Spirit in granting and receiving forgiveness. Lean on His grace and trust His desire to bring healing to you.

 

In my case, much time had elapsed between my difficult childhood and my memoir writing (nearly five decades), so I wasn’t overwhelmed by the pain I shared. In fact, by repeatedly remembering the goodness of God displayed at the end of my story, I felt grounded and hopeful. What joy it was to write the latter chapters and boast about the healing Love of Christ!

 

The biggest takeaway from attending numerous writers’ workshops is this: to show and not tell. In other words, draw your readers in with descriptive wording that conveys the activity and emotions you’re portraying (using colors, temperature, weather, etc.), rather than merely summarizing the event or scene.

 

Another challenge in memoir writing is deciding how to format your story so it flows well. Does your story divide easily into sections? Is there a “theme” to bring cohesion to your chapters? This takes much time and reflection, as does selecting a title. Don’t be afraid to reach out to other writers or trusted friends. Share a bit of your story and get their opinions. I did.

 

If you feel called to write a memoir, you’ll have to overcome obstacles. Knowing this is critical as you begin. It is a big undertaking. However, staying with it, taking your time, and praying for God’s leading will surely result in great blessing. 

 

I remember my father’s words to me as I was neck-deep in the project, “You know, by writing all this down, you’ll probably feel much better.” 

 

At the time, I considered his remark very glib. I wanted to respond, “Sure Dad, you try writing a book about your experiences!”

 

But, you know, he was right. Once I finished the final draft, I sensed a sweet release and increased hopefulness. Indeed, in writing my book, I discovered many more ways God had shown His love for both me and my mom.

 

Stay true to your reason for writing your memoir. From the start, my prayer has been that through my memoir, readers will also experience the great blessing of forgiveness in their lives.

 

A spiritual memoir is a priceless treasure, a gift of wisdom, hope and encouragement. In sharing your life experiences and lessons, you invite readers to consider not only God’s faithfulness, but their own need to know and follow Him.

 

When we share our stories, we declare the truth of Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

 

Shalom. 

 

Many thanks, Jessica, 

for sharing your experience with us. 

Your words of wisdom and advice 

will help us all to write the stories God has given us.

 

Jessica Errico is an artist and author. She’s published four books, several articles, and writes a bi-monthly column for the Religion Section of her local newspaper. Visit her website, Jessica Cherie Errico: Author/Artist, as well as her blog of the same name.