Let me introduce you to William Sanders, The Great Stayer

You’ll like Bill Sanders. If you read his memoir, you can’t help but like him. And admire him. And respect him. His book will make you wish you could sit down with him over a cup of coffee so his goodness might rub off on you.

But his memoir, Staying: A Multi-Generational Memoir of Rescue and Restoration, is not an easy read. You’ll read stuff you don’t want to read. It’ll rip into your heart. But his story will also stitch your heart back together.

The best way to introduce you to the story and to Bill is to let him introduce himself. He writes on his website about what his parents did right. Notice his references to staying:

“When I was five years old, my birth mother abandoned my sister and me…. She returned nine months later—this time, to kidnap us….

“[Dad] fought for three days to get me back. He fought for 18 months to get my sister back….

“The greatest ‘right’ thing my dad did was to stay. Staying is taken for granted until you become intimately tied to being left. Subtly, without ever talking about his decision to stay in my life and the life of my sister, he modeled a trait for me that now is my most cherished quality as a father.

“In the weeks and months following our abduction, Dad could have caved. It was 1971. Dads didn’t get custody over moms, even ones prone to leave and then steal from their children what little sense of security they’d found since being abandoned. For Dad to stay in this particular arena, to not settle for anything less than total and complete custody of his children, cost him in every way. He was bled dry financially and was even bleeding on the inside from an ulcer that had taken root in his gut….

“A few years later, he met a woman who eventually became the mother I never had. She, too, stayed….

“They modeled love for each other that I learned from and now have with my wife. They told me they loved me every day, particularly my dad, but my stepmom, too [Bill has called her Mom for 40 years and counting]. I never wondered if their love for me was based on my performance. Eventually, that led me to believe that God’s love for me was not performance-based, either. Not too many of us get to that place, where we really believe that, as author Brennan Manning said so often, God loves us just as we are, not as we should be….

“The laundry list of things my parents did right, though, all came back to this. They stayed. In every sense of the word, they stayed. Never underestimate the power of staying.”

The memoir covers three generations. From the back of the book:

“Staying: A Multi-Generational Memoir of Rescue and Restoration chronicles the events of William’s childhood and adolescence, and the effects those experiences had on him as a father to a little girl who suffered from debilitating anxiety and panic disorder. She needed a father who understood deep hurt and fear. She got one.”

When Bill was 38 years old, during an especially rough stretch “when the emotional pain of watching [daughter] Rachel tremble, cower and physically hurt from fear, was draining me . . . dry,”  God caught his attention late one night. 

He was “lying on Rachel's floor seeking some hope to cling to” when it happened. He sensed God was giving him a new name: You are The Great Stayer.”

Staying: “To stick or remain with, as in a race, or a trial of endurance. To remain the whole time. To fix on something as a foundation. To provide physical or moral support as in, to sustain.” That’s what Bill’s dad and stepmom had done for him, and that’s what God called Bill to do for his daughter and others.

“Staying has meant staying in the arena of my kids’ lives. It has meant staying with [wife] Jane, through thick and thin. It’s meant staying in the battle for the hearts of friends when cancer takes their spouses, or when divorce comes to my best friend…. or when a friend’s teenager dies out of the blue. It meant not checking out emotionally or mentally….”

Bill’s story changed me, changed the way I see life and families and faith. His story impacted me in three ways. 

First, he gave me a glimpse into a hurting child’s mind and heart: 

I never knew how impossible it was for a wounded child to sleep at night. 

Bill let me hear the words he silently cried out. 

He let me experience his dread over what might happen to him in the next hour or day or week. 

His story changed the way I pray, especially for kids.

Second, I witnessed God working alongside this tenacious, courageous victim to shine light on darkness, bring beauty out of ashes, joy out of mourning, and praise out of despair (Isaiah 61:3).

And third, Bill’s relationship with God—intimate, comfortable, grace-filled—moved me to tears.

All these make Bill one of my heroes.

You must read his book. You’ll get to know a boy who could have grown up a bitter and dysfunctional man, angry at God—but he chose gentleness and hope and wholeness. His story is heart-rending, heartwarming, and profound.

But before I sign off for today, you need to know: For twenty years, Bill worked as an award-winning and Pulitzer Prize-nominated writer and editor for several daily newspapers, including the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He was cited for writing best feature stories, best sports stories and best stories in Georgia and regionally.

That means he’s a pro at writing. You’ll notice that right away when you read his memoir. As a memoirist yourself, you can learn from his writing.

Come back Tuesday for a real treat—Bill’s guest post. Don’t miss it.

In the meantime, you can buy Bill’s memoir on Amazon or through his website, www.william-sanders.com. Follow him on Facebook at William Sanders, Author.