Lovely people and tender moments and soft-spoken words

Today let’s reflect on life’s everyday joys and subtle beauties. They can teach us important lessons.

Grace-filled, winsome people can tutor us and introduce us to life’s most valuable discoveries. They can be the best kind of role models for us.

If you missed last Thursday’s post, we looked at the way devastating situations can bring us to our knees and leave us broken, helpless—but that from within that place of crisis, we can learn: During our most painful times we can learn our most important lessons.

But let’s not overlook life’s happinesses.

Our problem is this:

The gentle things of life

don’t catch our attention

the way tragedies do.

Too often we overlook the deeper treasures

within lovely people and tender moments

and soft-spoken words.

Who showed you what it’s like to live with these (consider them one at a time): love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22)?

Who demonstrated serving one another in love, loving your neighbor as yourself? (Galatians 5:13-14)

Who displayed what real love is (again, consider the following attributes one at a time):

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, NIV).

Who demonstrated what commitment is—for better, for worse, in sickness and in health?

Who was like a Mr. Rogers in your life? Or a Matthew Cuthbert in the Anne of Green Gables books? Or Father Tim from Jan Karon’s novels? Safe, kind, considerate souls. Jan Karon writes, “There is deep, resonant, lovely, tender beauty in the ordinary life…. the person on the street; the woman at home; the one working in a flower bed or trying to raise her grandchildren.” Who were those people in your life and what did they teach you? What spiritual wisdom did they demonstrate?

Who were the quiet, dependable, heart-of-gold people God brought into your life? Maybe a classmate, or a grandparent, or a neighbor, or a boss. Perhaps a store clerk, or a professor, or a nurse, or a janitor.

Amy Carmichael wrote of the time Jesus ignored derailing comments made by a group of men (Mark 5:36). Rather than confronting them, he just kept about his business. Amy writes, “He heard, but He took no notice…. How often one…finds peace upset by something that someone has said. ‘Not heeding the word spoken,’ to be deaf to it, to go on as if one had not heard it—this is something not all of us find easy. May the Lord give us this holy deafness…” (Edges of His Ways; emphasis mine). Who modeled that attitude and conduct for you?

What people and stories come to mind when you read the following verses?

A gentle answer turns away wrath….

The tongue of the wise commends knowledge….

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life….

The lips of the wise spread knowledge….

A patient man calms a quarrel….

A man finds joy in giving an apt reply....

A cheerful look brings joy to the heart,

            and good news gives health to the bones (Proverbs 15:1-30). 

She is clothed with strength and dignity….She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue (Proverbs 31:25-26). How good is a timely word (Proverbs 15:23). For a moving essay on the reality of these two passages, check out Stacy Sanchez’s post, “It’s not over until….” (Stacy’s young husband died suddenly a few weeks ago.)

Your job, as a memoirist, 

is to find the extraordinary in the ordinary.

So, set aside time

to search through your memories

and discover quiet, subtle blessings

from everyday people and events.

You might be surprised to find

extraordinary in your quiet ordinary—

and that some of your most important lessons

and values and beliefs

came from those people and events.

Surely each was a gift from God—

His fingerprints are all over them.

Write your stories.

Pass on the inspiration you’ve received from others.

Tuesday Tidbit: “Stories are our prayers….”

Stories are our prayers.

Write them and edit them with due reverence,

even when the stories themselves are irreverent.

Stories are parables.

Write and edit and tell yours with meaning,

so each tale stands in for a larger message,

each story a guidepost on our collective journey.

Stories are history.

Write and edit and tell yours with accuracy

and understanding and context

and with unwavering devotion to the truth.

Stories are music.

Write and edit and tell yours

with pace and rhythm and flow.

Throw in the dips and twirls that make them exciting,

but stay true to the core beat.

Readers hear stories with their inner ear.

Stories are our soul.

Write and edit and tell yours with your whole selves.

Tell them as if they are all that matters.

It matters that you do it as if that’s all there is.

Jacqui Banaszynski,

 “Stories Matter,” Telling True Stories: A Nonfiction Writers’ Guide

The stuff of turning points and second chances

Devastating situations can knock the air out of us. Bring us to our knees.

Sometimes we cause our own tragedies, other times we’re innocent victims of someone else’s choices and actions. And sometimes heartbreaks are part of life—like the death of a loved one.

Sometimes we are so broken, so helpless, we can’t do anything but fling ourselves into God’s arms and hold on.

And there, within that place of crisis, we discover that during our most painful times we learn our most important lessons. 

Sorrows can wrench us out of places we should never have wandered: Anguish can break down our stubbornness and make us willing, finally, to embrace a holy discontent with things that are not right in our lives.

A crisis can force us to get serious about God and His forgiveness and grace—and about our need to forgive and extend grace to others.

Devastation can shake us by the shoulders and convince us that God is worthy of all we are and all we have—that He is Number One.

In that way, our brokenness can lead to our wholeness: Heartbreaks can be the stuff of turning points and second chances. Personal disasters can lead to personal victories.

Some of you have been there. You messed up. Or maybe someone else messed up and left you devastated. Shattered. But you survived. Your  broken self healed—by God’s grace. You’re living in a new chapter of your life.

God has given you a new song to sing (Psalm 40:1-3).

He has given you beauty in place of ashes, gladness in place of mourning (Isaiah 61:3).

He has restored places long devastated (Isaiah 61:4).

He has turned your weeping into songs of joy (Psalm 126:5-6).

You need to write your story because

someone needs to hear that you got through your disaster.

Someone needs to know that you are living a new and better life.

Not just that you got a new life—but how you got there.

How did you and God, together, get you to this new place?

Someone, sometime, will read your memoir—someone searching for answers, someone reeling in the midst of his or her own anguish, longing to turn a corner, desperate to receive a second chance, eager to leave the former life behind and make a fresh start. God can use your story to help answer their prayers, give them hope, and someone (you, through your memoir) to walk alongside them toward the other side.

In that way, you—just an ordinary person—can be a “messenger of the Most High.”

“And so we understand that ordinary people are messengers of the Most High,” writes Lawrence Kushner. “They go about their tasks in holy anonymity. Often, even unknown to themselves. Yet, if they had not been there, if they had not said what they said or did what they did, it would not be the way it is now. We would not be the way we are now. Never forget that you, too, may be a messenger. Perhaps even one whose errand extends over several lifetimes.” (Lawrence Kushner, Eyes Remade for Wonder, emphasis mine)

Read those last two sentences again with your memoir in mind: “Never forget that you, too, may be a messenger. Perhaps even one whose errand extends over several lifetimes.”

How can your stories extend over several lifetimes? By putting them in writing, making copies, and making sure your family knows they have copies—on a shelf somewhere, or in a box in the basement. They might not read your memoir in your lifetime, but someday, someone will read it.

Trust God—

He has given you a high calling.

Your stories matter.

Not so much because of who you are,

but because of who God is.

Commit your stories to Him,

believing He will use them to bless your readers.

“Your struggle to share your struggle changes the world.”

Mick Silva, Higher Purpose Writers

Tuesday Tidbit: Your story is not your own

Here's your 15 seconds of inspiration,

your Tuesday Tidbit:

Your memoir: Like the sound of a bell

Two Horses

(author unknown)

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing.

If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her halter is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her.

As you stand and watch these two friends, you’ll see how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray. When she returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops occasionally and looks back, making sure her friend isn’t too far behind to hear the bell.

Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.

Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see….

Your memoir can serve as a “bell” for others.

We think of the sound of bells as pleasant, lovely. Bells chime in times of celebration.

Write stories to remind readers of all that’s good, to remind them they have reasons to celebrate. Write to cheer others and warm their hearts and inspire them to walk with a spring in their step. Write to brighten a person’s day.

Write to give someone a smile, or even a belly-laugh. God blesses and teaches through hilarious incidents and humorous encounters and comical blunders—and who knows? Maybe someone, through your story, can learn to laugh again.

Sometimes God hands us pure joy—surrounded by a crowd of loved ones, or maybe in the presence of just one kind person or kindred spirit. Demonstrate that through your stories.

Bells can also sound warning, get our attention, demand action.

The author of the above piece wrote: “God…brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.” That could be your role, helping others in need of guidance:

Your stories can sound warning by letting people witness the ways you messed up—your rebellion, foolishness, fears, immaturity, poor judgment—and inspire them to avoid the mistakes you made and the heartaches you suffered.

Like Jon Acuff said, “Sometimes God redeems your story by surrounding you with people who need to hear your past, so it doesn’t become their future.”

Someone needs to hear your “I once was blind but now I see” story, your “Amazing Grace” story: Someone needs to know how God forgave your sins and cleaned you up and helped you stand tall and gave you a second chance.

So sound those bells! 

Write your stories!

Tuesday Tidbit: “We need honest, true-to-life stories”

Here's your 15 seconds of inspiration, 

your Tuesday Tidbit:

Be intentional.

Write your memoir as a gift for others.

“The unmistakable mark of divine contrivance”

“Event after event has the unmistakable mark of divine contrivance,” writes Lawrence Kushner. Divine contrivance! He writes about recognizing “it is all the doing of the Holy One.” (Eyes Remade for Wonder).

Kushner was writing about what was true in Biblical times, yet it’s still true in our times—but we often overlook the ways God is with us in our everyday comings and goings.

Too frequently we fail to recognize He’s busily at work—that He has the big picture in mind and is taking steps to make important things (often disguised as small details or coincidences) fall into place.

Memoirists need to catch glimpses of God at work. We need to notice His loving care and help in our tragedies and failures and heartaches—our huge defining moments (or months, or years)—but also in our day-to-day activities and relationships and opportunities.

And so, today I hope and pray the words below will stir up story ideas for your memoir—that they will lead you to think deeply and discover “divine contrivances” and “doings of the Holy One.”

Before you read these words I have compiled for you:

• get out a pencil and paper (or sit down in front of your computer),
• read the first quote slowly,
• ask yourself what experience (yours or someone else’s) it reminds you of,
• and jot down a few notes.
• Read the rest of the quotes, doing the same exercise listed above,
• then use your notes to craft stories for your memoir.

Okay, let’s get started with the quotes: 

“God has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

“When I looked back at the years of struggle, I realized they all took part in the beautiful pattern that became my miracle and it would not have been possible without the struggle.” (Lene Fogelberg)

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.” Walt Disney

“Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving.” (Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking)

“We are all brave men and we are all afraid, and what the world calls a brave man, he too is brave and afraid like all the rest of us. Only he is brave for five minutes longer.” (Alistair MacLean)

“Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10, NLT).

“Do it trembling if you must, but do it!” (Emmet Fox)

“We are all travelers in what John Bunyan calls the wilderness of this world… and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend. He is a fortunate voyager who finds many.” (Robert Lewis Stevenson)

“It’s one thing to go through a crisis grandly, yet quite another to go through every day glorifying God when there is no witness, no limelight, and no one paying even the remotest attention to us. To do even the most humbling tasks to the glory of God takes the Almighty God Incarnate working in us. The true test of a saint’s life is not successfulness but faithfulness on the human level of life.” (Oswald Chambers)

“God is already working on Plan B even as Plan A lies in shambles around your feet.” (John Claypool)

“It’s one thing to say God is a way-maker. It’s another thing to see Him make a way.” (Tony Evans)

“'Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?' declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 23:24a).

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” Mary Oliver

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6 and Hebrews 13:5).

“What we need is a hope that’s more than wishful thinking or blind expectation that everything will work out smoothly. We need a hope that is vibrant in pain, consistent in grief, indefatigable when people break our hearts, unassailable in disappointment, and unflagging in life’s pressure…. True hope… does not come from searching for hope. It grows out of two basic convictions: that God is in charge and that He intervenes.”(Lloyd John Ogilvie, God’s Best for My Life)

“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life or death to you.” (C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed) 

“…Our Lord never wastes times of testing. The pain and struggles and confusion connected with my circumstances only seemed futile and unfair.” (Charles R. Swindoll, Come Before Winter and Share My Hope) 

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12).

Notice God

doing major things

during momentous, life-changing events,

but also search to discover

God doing major things

in what you thought were everyday,

even trivial,

activities.

“Father…You met me

at every fork of the road

with clear guidance

and fresh grace.

I beheld Your glory.”

(Lloyd John Ogilvie, Quiet Moments with God;

emphasis mine)

Your stories are important. Your memoir can be a life-giving handbook.

It can offer readers:

hard-earned wisdom, 

hope, 

guidance, 

courage, 

joy, 

a hand up, 

a warning, 

a smile, 

a good cry, 

a more meaningful life, 

a solution to a problem, 

help in making a decision, 

faith in God, 

determination to keep a promise, 

and so much more.